ClubFloyd Transcript:
Baby Uncle New Year by Jonathan Blask

As played on ifMUD on January 29, 2011

The idea behind ClubFloyd is that each week at a pre-arranged time, a group of people meet online to cooperatively play a game of interactive fiction.

Below is a transcript of Baby Uncle New Year, written by Jonathan Blask. Baby Uncle New Year was originally released as part of the Even Newer New Years Speed IFs. was part of the seventieth collection of Speed IFs (can you believe it?). You can learn more about all the games in the Even Newer New Year's Speed, including how to download it, by visiting the ifWiki.

WARNING! Below you will find a transcript of people playing this game, and it goes without saying that the transcript is full of spoilers. So, if you've never played this game, and think you might like to at some point, I do not recommend reading any further. Instead, you might want to return to the interactive fiction page.


ToyShop & Floyditorium
#ClubFloyd Discussion
 
Floyd |
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Floyd |
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Floyd |
Floyd |                         When everybody else refrained
Floyd |

Floyd |                         My Uncle Johnny did cocaine
Floyd |
Floyd |                                         - The Killers
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | press a key to continue...
Ellison says, "I don't think one has to apologize for SpeedIF game shortcomings, but I apologize anyways!"
DavidW pushes the green 'space' button.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |    It must be said- 2010 gone done you wrong. You lost employment,
Floyd | friends, love. Without so much as a silver lining, the year was more
Floyd | like an endless golden shower. It was a half-empty cup containing
Floyd | spoiled milk. It has been a swirling turd for which there has been no
Floyd | positive spin. To describe the year with a phrase that came out of it,

Floyd | 2010 has eaten "a hot bowl of Dicks."
Floyd |
Floyd |    In late December, though, things changed wehn you became an uncle.
Floyd | That single, humble birth hatched a glorious idea- a dash of right
Floyd | time with a sprinkle of right place and voil?! A freshly-appointed
Floyd | Baby New Year nephew could be your meal ticket, and 2011 would be your

Floyd | oyster. Nepotism, bitches!!
Floyd |
Floyd | Baby Uncle New Year
Floyd | An Interactive New Year's Revolution
Floyd | Hugo v3.1 / Library 31031
Floyd |

Floyd | Main Lobby
Floyd |   It took some doing, but you finally found New Year's Pole, the place
Floyd | Where It All Starts (and ends). You would have given this small island
Floyd | off the coast of New Zealand a pass if it weren't for its sizeable
Floyd | building fully-equipped with television satellite. You'd bet your
Floyd | unshakable faith in worn-out stereotypes that Old Man New Year loves

Floyd | himself some "Matlock."
Floyd |
Floyd |    Anyhow, now you're in the main lobby of that building. A directory
Floyd | tells you that there is a "Baby Room" to the northeast, a "TV Lounge"
Floyd | to the northwest, and a "Sash Ceremony Stage Area" to the north.
Floyd | Furthermore, a large banner has been erected over the exit to the

Floyd | south.
Floyd |
Floyd |    You are carrying a baby.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Tale says, "You could chicken out and use keywords."
Jacqueline says, "haha - great intro there, Ell."
Ellison says, "heh, thanks"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x baby"
Floyd | His parents were ecstatic when you volunteered to babysit him. Of

Floyd | course, you didn't really explain you'd be taking him out of the
Floyd | country. Beggy parents can't be choosy parents. Anyhow, you've already
Floyd | forgotten his original name. You like to call him "NAME">
Gerynar keeps quiet because he's played this game (to help Ellison)
eladnarra says, "yar. (although my nitpicking forces me to note the "wehn" >_>)"
Tale says, "I played, too"
Ellison says (to eladnarra), "that has since been rectified"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "Cheeks"
Floyd | Yeah, Baby Cheeks! That's the ticket!
Floyd |

Floyd | >
eladnarra says, "thought it probably had~"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x me"
Floyd | You look as good as you ever do most days.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Main Lobby
Floyd |   Santa and his peeps may have the North Pole; John Carpenter's The

Floyd | Thing may have the South Pole. Awesomely and nonsensically, it turns
Floyd | out there's a New Year's Pole, too, and you're in the main lobby of
Floyd | its headquarters. A directory tells you that there is a "Baby Room" to
Floyd | the northeast, a "TV Lounge" to the northwest, and a "Sash Ceremony
Floyd | Stage Area" to the north. Furthermore, a large banner has been erected
Floyd | over the exit to the south.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
eladnarra says, "hahaha. poor baby, such a weird new name"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x banner"
Floyd | "THIS WAY TO THE EGRESS"

Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW asks, "You never heard of Cheeks the Toy Wonder?"
DavidW says, "Sidekick of Ambush Bug."
Jacqueline says, "oh dear"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "ne"
Floyd |
Floyd | Baby Room
Floyd |   This room seems to be where Baby New Year hangs out before the big
Floyd | ceremony. An exit to the southwest leads to the Main Lobby.

Floyd |
Floyd |   A crib is here. A little sign on it denotes the occupant as "Future
Floyd | Baby New Year."
Floyd |
Floyd |    The crib is currently empty. You hear a bell chime.
Floyd |

Floyd | >the hell?
Floyd |
Floyd | Suddenly, a delivery man- guess that chime was from an unseen delivery
Floyd | door- barges into the room, carrying a baby (presumably the successor
Floyd | to the New Year throne). As he gently places the baby in the crib, he
Floyd | glances in your direction. His eyes go wide as he sees the baby in

Floyd | your arms.
Floyd |
Floyd | He straightens up and addresses you, "Aw, geez fella. If that baby is
Floyd | what I think it is, you guys must have received a duplicate shipment.
Floyd | Here, take this." He hands you a business card. "I can't take this
Floyd | baby back without the right paperwork. Call corporate and tell them

Floyd | about the duplicate shipment, and they'll send me to take this guy
Floyd | back, no questions asked."
Floyd |
Floyd | And with that, he departs.
Floyd |
Floyd | Baby Room

Floyd |   This room seems to be where Baby New Year hangs out before the big
Floyd | ceremony. An exit to the southwest leads to the Main Lobby.
Floyd |
Floyd |   A crib is here. A little sign on it denotes the occupant as "Future
Floyd | Baby New Year."
Floyd |

Floyd |   Inside the crib is the new baby.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
eladnarra says, "uh..."
Nitku says (to Floyd), "x new baby"
Floyd | Just one look tells you that this baby would give you a lousy year. He
Floyd | has to go.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "take new baby"
Floyd | As a bachelor, you feel it is your privilege to not have to deal with
Floyd | anybody's baby that you aren't related to. Even under the
Floyd | circumstances, you're not going to touch this baby while other options
Floyd | remain available.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

eladnarra says, "hehe"
Ellison says (to Floyd), "x new baby"
Floyd | Just two looks tells you that this baby would give you a lousy year.
Floyd | He has to go.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "put cheeks in crib"
Floyd | The crib is already occupied.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Nitku says, "heh"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "empty crib"
Floyd | new baby:  You can't move that.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says (to Floyd), "cheeks, take new baby"
Floyd | Try again later. Much later.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Nitku says (to Floyd), "push crib"
Floyd | You can't move the crib.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x form"
Floyd | You don't need to use the word "form".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying Baby Cheeks and a business card.
Floyd |
Floyd | Dang! You just realized you left your cell phone in the charger at
Floyd | home. THAT ALWAYS HAPPENS.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Gerynar says, "heh...didn't try ordering the baby when I played."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x card"
Floyd | Printed on the card is the baby delivery service's phone number. The
Floyd | hell? It's not even a toll free number! Still, luckily, it looks like
Floyd | a local number.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "call number"
Floyd | There is no phone here. Sorry.
Floyd | You need to find some change first.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Ellison says, "oops"
DavidW says, "I guess a) find change, b) find phone, c) make call."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "sw"
Floyd |
Floyd | Main Lobby
Floyd |   Santa and his peeps may have the North Pole; John Carpenter's The
Floyd | Thing may have the South Pole. Awesomely and nonsensically, it turns
Floyd | out there's a New Year's Pole, too, and you're in the main lobby of
Floyd | its headquarters. A directory tells you that there is a "Baby Room" to

Floyd | the northeast, a "TV Lounge" to the northwest, and a "Sash Ceremony
Floyd | Stage Area" to the north. Furthermore, a large banner has been erected
Floyd | over the exit to the south.
Floyd |
Floyd |    AHEM- It is at this point that the author of the game would like to
Floyd | apologize for neglecting to mention that there's a payphone in the

Floyd | corner of the room. So yeah, payphone in the corner! Wow!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "Phone found!"
Ellison says, "yay!"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x phone"
Floyd | The sight of this baby brings you a huge sigh of relief. You are much
Floyd | better prepared for a find-change-for-payphone puzzle (despite not
Floyd | having any change) than a find-a-payphone puzzle, which we all know is
Floyd | nearly impossible in this day and age.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "Let's see if there's a generous couch in the tv room."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "nw"
Floyd |

Floyd | TV Lounge
Floyd |   Well, well, well. Even fancy pants Old Man New Year likes a good man
Floyd | cave. Nothing too ostentatious, really, but it has a nice tv and seems
Floyd | generally comfy. Over on the side of the room is a shelf on which you
Floyd | can see an alarm clock and some kind of daily planner. Heading
Floyd | southeast takes you back to the Main Lobby. To the north is some kind

Floyd | of living quarters.
Floyd |
Floyd |   A comfortable distance away from the tv is a recliner. Sleeping
Floyd | peacefully on the recliner is Old Man New Year.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Jacqueline says, "Man, yeah, there are no payphones anymore."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "search recliner"
Floyd | You find an Old Man New Year in the recliner. Just kidding- you can't
Floyd | properly search it with him sitting in it.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x man"
Floyd | You know the deal. He's an old guy with a long beard wearing a sash.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Tale asks (of Jacqueline), "Not in Alaska, you mean?"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "wake man"
Floyd | Try as you might, the old guy just won't wake. He must be really
Floyd | tired.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x sash"
Floyd | You don't need to refer to that.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x planner"
Floyd | Glancing at the planner, you see that Old Man New Year wrote down his
Floyd | schedule for the entire day. It doesn't look like his alarm is
Floyd | supposed to go off for a fair amount of time yet.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x alarm"
Floyd | The alarm clock has all of the bells and whistles. Actually, you think
Floyd | it might be part foghorn, too. It looks really loud. In any case, the
Floyd | only controls that catch your eye are an alarm button and a snooze

Floyd | button.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "push alarm button"
Floyd | With a shout of "Wake up, bitches!", you hit the alarm button on the

Floyd | alarm clock! Old Man New Year jumps to his feet (albeit groggily) and
Floyd | starts slowly shuffling in the direction of the alarm clock.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "search recliner"
Floyd | Old Man New Year could sit down at any moment. You don't have enough
Floyd | time to give it a good rummaging.
Floyd | Old Man New Year slowly stumbles towards the alarm clock, eyes
Floyd | practically closed.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "hit man"
Floyd | That's not a good idea.
Floyd | Old Man New Year slowly stumbles towards the alarm clock, eyes
Floyd | practically closed.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says (to Tale), "Well, actually, up here there are usually just free phones with no long distance on them, at least here."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "push recliner se"
Floyd | You haven't encountered any "recliner se".  (If you're sure you need

Floyd | to refer to that, try putting it another way.)
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Tale says, "free? that's nice."
Jacqueline exclaims, "But I got stuck in NYC once with no cell (they don't work here, so I didn't have one at the time) and they'd pulled all the pay phones out at the airport!"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "tie man with sash"
Floyd | You don't need to use the word "tie".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "push snooze button"
Floyd | You hit the snooze button and the alarm stops ringing. Old Man New
Floyd | Year slowly realizes the offending noise is gone and turns back,
Floyd | plopping back into the recliner and promptly falling back asleep.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says, "darn. I thought he'd sleep where he was."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x tv"
Floyd | You are in too much of a hurry to pay much attention to the show Old
Floyd | Man New Year was watching but you think you see crocosharks.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "take clock"
Floyd | You can't take that.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW asks, "hm. So we can't hide the clock?"
Ellison says, "no"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "hmm."
Floyd | You don't need to use the word "hmm".
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "se"
Floyd |
Floyd | Main Lobby
Floyd |   Santa and his peeps may have the North Pole; John Carpenter's The

Floyd | Thing may have the South Pole. Awesomely and nonsensically, it turns
Floyd | out there's a New Year's Pole, too, and you're in the main lobby of
Floyd | its headquarters. A directory tells you that there is a "Baby Room" to
Floyd | the northeast, a "TV Lounge" to the northwest, and a "Sash Ceremony
Floyd | Stage Area" to the north. Furthermore, a large banner has been erected
Floyd | over the exit to the south.

Floyd |
Floyd | A lonely payphone stands in a shadowy corner.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd | An elf pokes his head out of a big door. He says,"We're not yet ready
Floyd | to start the Sash Ceremony. It looks like Baby New Year is all ready
Floyd | in his crib, but Old Man New Year hasn't begun his preparations!" and
Floyd | disappears again.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says, "oh. We don't grab a sash from here."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd | Are you sure you're mentally and otherwise prepared to meet up with an
Floyd | egress?
Floyd |

Floyd | Please answer YES or NO:
DavidW says (to Floyd), "yes"
Floyd | Then you're fully aware of the ferociousness of this rare mammalian
Floyd | species, right?
Floyd |

Floyd | Please answer YES or NO:
DavidW says (to Floyd), "yes"
Floyd | Then you'd be helpless against this dangerous beast.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says, "oh, c'mon. An egress is an exit."
Nitku says, "ha ha"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd | Are you sure you're mentally and otherwise prepared to meet up with an
Floyd | egress?

Floyd |
Floyd | Please answer YES or NO:
DavidW says (to Floyd), "yes"
Floyd | Then you're fully aware of the ferociousness of this rare mammalian
Floyd | species, right?

Floyd |
Floyd | Please answer YES or NO:
DavidW says (to Floyd), "no"
Floyd | Alright, so you know all about egresses. But do you really want to
Floyd | leave the New Year's Pole in all of its mystery and all of its

Floyd | pageantry behind?
Floyd |
Floyd | Please answer YES or NO:
Gerynar says, "and egress is a female egret"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "no"
Floyd | That's the spirit.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Gerynar says, "-d"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "nw"
Floyd |
Floyd | TV Lounge
Floyd |   Well, well, well. Even fancy pants Old Man New Year likes a good man
Floyd | cave. Nothing too ostentatious, really, but it has a nice tv and seems
Floyd | generally comfy. Over on the side of the room is a shelf on which you
Floyd | can see an alarm clock and some kind of daily planner. Heading

Floyd | southeast takes you back to the Main Lobby. To the north is some kind
Floyd | of living quarters.
Floyd |
Floyd |   A comfortable distance away from the tv is a recliner. Sleeping
Floyd | peacefully on the recliner is Old Man New Year.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd | Nah, you are not interested in exploring Old Man New Year's living
Floyd | quarters.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x panner"
Floyd | You don't need to use the word "panner".
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x planner"
Floyd | Glancing at the planner, you see that Old Man New Year wrote down his
Floyd | schedule for the entire day. It doesn't look like his alarm is
Floyd | supposed to go off for a fair amount of time yet.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says, "hm. I don't know how to make Old Man take longer with the alarm clock."
Jacqueline asks, "Well, it's not going off anytime soon, right?"
DavidW says, "I suppose we could try and fail and hope for a clue."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "turn on alarm"
Floyd | You can't do that with the alarm clock.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "take snooze button"
Floyd | You can't separate the snooze button from the alarm clock.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Ellison says, "oh, yeah, >TURN ON."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "pull snooze button"
Floyd | The alarm is not ringing. Hitting snooze would have no effect.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "take planner"
Floyd | Better just let it be.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "push alarm button"
Floyd | With a shout of "Wake up, bitches!", you hit the alarm button on the
Floyd | alarm clock! Old Man New Year jumps to his feet (albeit groggily) and
Floyd | starts slowly shuffling in the direction of the alarm clock.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "search recliner"
Floyd | Old Man New Year could sit down at any moment. You don't have enough
Floyd | time to give it a good rummaging.
Floyd | Old Man New Year slowly stumbles towards the alarm clock, eyes
Floyd | practically closed.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "spin old man"
Floyd | You don't need to use the word "spin".
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "sit on recliner"
Floyd | Old Man New Year might sit back down any second!
Floyd | Old Man New Year slowly stumbles towards the alarm clock, eyes
Floyd | practically closed.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
eladnarra says, "sit in recliner? never mind, not helpful..."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "ask old man about planner"
Floyd | Don't bother him. He's sleepwalking!

Floyd | Old Man New Year slowly stumbles towards the alarm clock, eyes
Floyd | practically closed.
Floyd | Old Man New Year finally gets to the alarm clock. His eyes open just
Floyd | enough to see that he still has yet some time before the sash
Floyd | ceremony, so he hits the snooze button and hops back onto the recliner
Floyd | and promptly falls back asleep.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd |
Floyd | TV Lounge

Floyd |   Well, well, well. Even fancy pants Old Man New Year likes a good man
Floyd | cave. Nothing too ostentatious, really, but it has a nice tv and seems
Floyd | generally comfy. Over on the side of the room is a shelf on which you
Floyd | can see an alarm clock and some kind of daily planner. Heading
Floyd | southeast takes you back to the Main Lobby. To the north is some kind
Floyd | of living quarters.

Floyd |
Floyd |   Old Man New Year is here.
Floyd |   A comfortable distance away from the tv is a recliner.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "wake old man"
Floyd | He may be up and walking, but his eyes are barely open. You're not
Floyd | certain he's really awake, and it is dangerous to wake a sleepwalker.
Floyd | Old Man New Year slowly stumbles towards the alarm clock, eyes
Floyd | practically closed.

Floyd | Old Man New Year finally gets to the alarm clock. His eyes open just
Floyd | enough to see that he still has yet some time before the sash
Floyd | ceremony, so he hits the snooze button and hops back onto the recliner
Floyd | and promptly falls back asleep.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

eladnarra asks, "oh. can we change the time on the clock?"
eladnarra asks, "so he stays awake?"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "change time"
Floyd | Better start with a verb.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Ellison says, "no, sorry"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "hide planner"
Floyd | You don't need to use the word "hide".
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "turn planner"
Floyd | You can't do that with daily planner.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

eladnarra says, "ah~"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "flip planner"
Floyd | You can't do that with daily planner.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says (to Floyd), "close planner"
Floyd | You can't do that with daily planner.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "turn off tv"
Floyd | You can't do that with the television.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "break tv"
Floyd | Never mind the tv.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "unplug tv"
Floyd | You don't need to use the word "unplug".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "change channel"
Floyd | You don't need to use the word "channel".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x recliner"
Floyd | This chair looks very comfortable. You can only guess that Old Man New

Floyd | Year spends a lot of time on it. He is currently doing just that,
Floyd | sleeping blissfully unaware of the world around him. For whatever
Floyd | reason, a big chunk of the base is missing. Luckily, there is a block
Floyd | of wood propped under the chair keeping it level.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says, "aha"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "push alarm button"
Floyd | With a shout of "Wake up, bitches!", you hit the alarm button on the
Floyd | alarm clock! Old Man New Year jumps to his feet (albeit groggily) and
Floyd | starts slowly shuffling in the direction of the alarm clock.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
eladnarra says, "oooh"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "take block"
Floyd | With nobody sitting on the chair, you easily pull the wood out from

Floyd | under it and chuck it behind you, never to be seen again!
Floyd |
Floyd | Old Man New Year slowly stumbles towards the alarm clock, eyes
Floyd | practically closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says (to Floyd), "search recliner"
Floyd | Old Man New Year could sit down at any moment. You don't have enough
Floyd | time to give it a good rummaging.
Floyd | Old Man New Year slowly stumbles towards the alarm clock, eyes
Floyd | practically closed.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "g"
Floyd | Old Man New Year could sit down at any moment. You don't have enough
Floyd | time to give it a good rummaging.

Floyd | Old Man New Year slowly stumbles towards the alarm clock, eyes
Floyd | practically closed.
Floyd | Old Man New Year gets to the alarm clock. His eyes open just enough to
Floyd | see that he still has yet some time before the sash ceremony, so he
Floyd | hits the snooze button and hops back onto the recliner. With the piece
Floyd | of wood gone, though, it tilts backwards, throwing Old Man New Year to

Floyd | the floor. The shock of it all sends him fully awake. He gives up on
Floyd | the possibility of a last minute catnap and goes to the north to
Floyd | prepare for the ceremony.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "search recliner"
Floyd | Digging among the seat cushions, you come across some change. You're
Floyd | RICH!
Floyd |
Floyd | >

eladnarra says, "huzzah"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "se"
Floyd |
Floyd | Main Lobby
Floyd |   Santa and his peeps may have the North Pole; John Carpenter's The

Floyd | Thing may have the South Pole. Awesomely and nonsensically, it turns
Floyd | out there's a New Year's Pole, too, and you're in the main lobby of
Floyd | its headquarters. A directory tells you that there is a "Baby Room" to
Floyd | the northeast, a "TV Lounge" to the northwest, and a "Sash Ceremony
Floyd | Stage Area" to the north. Furthermore, a large banner has been erected
Floyd | over the exit to the south.

Floyd |
Floyd | A lonely payphone stands in a shadowy corner.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "call number"
Floyd | You throw the coins in the coin slot and quickly dial the number of
Floyd | the delivery service. It rings a couple times before being answered by
Floyd | a super friendly agent who informs you they will send out a driver to
Floyd | pick up your extra baby ASAP. You thank him for the help and tell him
Floyd | you will recommend the company to all of your friends for all of their
Floyd | baby delivery needs. You even stay on the line to verbally take a

Floyd | quick survey about the excellent service.
Floyd |
Floyd | Satisfied, you hang up.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "ne"
Floyd |
Floyd | Baby Room
Floyd |   This room seems to be where Baby New Year hangs out before the big
Floyd | ceremony. An exit to the southwest leads to the Main Lobby.

Floyd |
Floyd |   A crib is here. A little sign on it denotes the occupant as "Future
Floyd | Baby New Year."
Floyd |
Floyd |   Inside the crib is the new baby.
Floyd |

Floyd |    You hear a bell chime. You know what this means, right?
Floyd |
Floyd | >aw yeah!
Floyd |
Floyd | The delivery man enters the room. He spots you quickly and says,"Just
Floyd | got the call. I'm glad we could straighten this out."

Floyd |
Floyd | Without missing a beat, he scoops up the baby from the crib and
Floyd | leaves. Swell guy!
Floyd |
Floyd | Baby Room
Floyd |   This room seems to be where Baby New Year hangs out before the big

Floyd | ceremony. An exit to the southwest leads to the Main Lobby.
Floyd |
Floyd |   A crib is here. A little sign on it denotes the occupant as "Future
Floyd | Baby New Year."
Floyd |
Floyd |    The crib is currently empty.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "put cheeks in crib"
Floyd | You do your best choir-of-angels sound as you slowly lower Baby Cheeks
Floyd | down into the crib. He smiles back up at you (although it's probably

Floyd | just gas). Everything is coming up Uncle! Hooray!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "sw"
Floyd |

Floyd | Main Lobby
Floyd |   Santa and his peeps may have the North Pole; John Carpenter's The
Floyd | Thing may have the South Pole. Awesomely and nonsensically, it turns
Floyd | out there's a New Year's Pole, too, and you're in the main lobby of
Floyd | its headquarters. A directory tells you that there is a "Baby Room" to
Floyd | the northeast, a "TV Lounge" to the northwest, and a "Sash Ceremony

Floyd | Stage Area" to the north. Furthermore, a large banner has been erected
Floyd | over the exit to the south.
Floyd |
Floyd | A lonely payphone stands in a shadowy corner.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd | An elf pokes his head out of a big door. The elf excitedly ushers you
Floyd | into a large room. Up on the stage is both Old Man New Year and Baby
Floyd | Cheeks. You watch with great pride as Old Man New Year hands his sash
Floyd | over to the little guy. Baby Cheeks shimmers magically. The new year

Floyd | has just begun, but you already know it's going to be a good one!
Floyd |
Floyd | *** YOU ARE THE UNCLE OF THE YEAR ***
Floyd |
Floyd | The game has ended.  Do you want to (R)ESTART, R(E)STORE a saved game,
Floyd | (U)NDO your last turn, or (Q)UIT?

Ellison says, "woo"
DavidW says, "huzzah!"
Nitku says, "yay"
Jacqueline says, "woo woo"
Ellison says, "let me show you the losing ending"
Jacqueline exclaims, "Hooray Ellison!"
Ellison says (to Floyd), "u"
Floyd |
Floyd | Main Lobby

Floyd |   Santa and his peeps may have the North Pole; John Carpenter's The
Floyd | Thing may have the South Pole. Awesomely and nonsensically, it turns
Floyd | out there's a New Year's Pole, too, and you're in the main lobby of
Floyd | its headquarters. A directory tells you that there is a "Baby Room" to
Floyd | the northeast, a "TV Lounge" to the northwest, and a "Sash Ceremony
Floyd | Stage Area" to the north. Furthermore, a large banner has been erected

Floyd | over the exit to the south.
Floyd |
Floyd | A lonely payphone stands in a shadowy corner.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Ellison says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd | Are you sure you're mentally and otherwise prepared to meet up with an
Floyd | egress?
Floyd |
Floyd | Please answer YES or NO:

Ellison says (to Floyd), "yes"
Floyd | Then you're fully aware of the ferociousness of this rare mammalian
Floyd | species, right?
Floyd |
Floyd | Please answer YES or NO:

Ellison says (to Floyd), "no"
Floyd | Alright, so you know all about egresses. But do you really want to
Floyd | leave the New Year's Pole in all of its mystery and all of its
Floyd | pageantry behind?
Floyd |

Floyd | Please answer YES or NO:
DavidW asks, "Did we miss anything special?"
Ellison says (to Floyd), "yes"
Floyd | You hop on a plan and head home. As you doze off into both
Floyd | metaphorical and spiritual oblivion, you struggle to hear the

Floyd | announcement of the inflight meal. Did she really say that?
Floyd |
Floyd | *** YOUR FUTURE IS A HOT BOWL OF DICKS ***
Floyd |
Floyd | The game has ended.  Do you want to (R)ESTART, R(E)STORE a saved game,
Floyd | (U)NDO your last turn, or (Q)UIT?

DavidW says, "HA HA"
Jacqueline says, "snrk"
Ellison says, "anyhow, that's mostly it. I coded uninteresting responses to >the hell? and >aw yeah (but responses nonetheless)."
eladnarra says, "hahaha"
Jacqueline says, "Yay Ellison and everyone who did a speed. I did not. I started one, but ..."
Jacqueline says, "Liked the idea too much to do it as a speed. But then here's Nitku who does speeds that turn into bigger games."
Jacqueline says, "So really I just suck."
Gerynar says, "I started one, but it now has turned into a "real" WIP that I may finish by the end of the year"
Ellison says, "the egress stuff is lifted (mostly) straight out of Ballyhoo"
DavidW says, "hm. I didn't remember which game used the egress before."
Tale says (to jacqueline), "We all have eternal WIPs"
Tale says, "maybe you should cut back on all this RL nonsense"
Nitku says, "heh"
Ellison says, "I only put in the name-the-baby mechanic because I (eventually) decided it was in poor taste to use an actual nephew's name"
Jacqueline says (to Tale), "Sigh. So true."
Ellison says, "all in all, though, writing this helped me learn some things that should help me out in the future. so mission accomplished, I guess."
Tale says, "Yay learning."
DavidW says, "also cool to have a Hugo game."
Ellison says, "(should help me out in IF writing, not life lessons, that is, heh)"
Jacqueline says (to Ellison), "Yeah, that's a gret thing about Speeds."
Tale says, "I learnt through my speed how important planning is"
Nitku says, "I find that speeds help tone down the inner critic"
Gerynar is beginning to feel all guilty and starts starinig at his WIP again
Ellison says, "also, originally, I was going to have the ending touch on the moral ramifications of submitting a baby nephew into a role that might speed-age him over the course of the year but decided against it."
DavidW says, "You can do a sequel next year. :)"
Tale says, "Yay for sequels"
Ellison says, "heh, I had some good ideas that I didn't have time for this year. I'll probably just move on to those."
Gerynar says, "yeah...the sequel can be all about expaining to the parents what happened to their son"
Tale should actually figure out how to continue Alex and Pauls' story.
eladnarra says, "(that was mostly what I could think about at the end--the ramifications)"
DavidW asks (of Tale), "Would you believe I've yet to play the last installment?"
Ellison says (to eladnarra), "I am sorry to have blown your mind that way"
Ellison says (to Tale), "looking forward to it"
Tale says, "I also believe in life after love."
Ellison says, "whoa, zombie island Cher"
Tale says (to DavidW), "Meh, I'm not too happy with this one"
eladnarra says, "not sure why you're appologizing~ it was interesting."
DavidW says, "The day I adopted King Tut!"
Tale says, "ha ha"
Ellison says, "also, dang, voodoo island. I don't mean to disrespect Tale's work like that."
eladnarra says, "anyway, shall leave you authorly people to IF talk. see you next week~"
Ellison says, "later eladnarra. thanks for joining us."
Tale says, "Buy, eladnarra."
Nitku exclaims (at Tale), "you can't just stop with a cliffhanger!"
Tale says, "Well, you have to wait till either next year or the next Speed"
DavidW says, "oh, cliffhanger? Now I really need to play it."
DavidW says, "Alex & Paul & the golf cart "do it" in Hawaii."
Nitku announces a Conclusion-Speed. Send your games by tomorrow.
Ellison asks, "the other unresolved moral question of my game is, of course, what happens to returned baby's from magical delivery companies?"
Jacqueline says (to Nitku), "heh"
DavidW says (to Ellison), "I was wondering about that."
Ellison says, "er, babies"
Ellison says, "my game will end up being the darkest game of 2011. just watch!"
Tale says, "Woo, moral issues."
Ellison says (to Nitku), "ha ha"
DavidW says, "I suppose the New Year ages two years every week, so he'd only be in his teens a very short time."
Ellison says, "actually a Conclusion Comp where everybody writes some kind of epilogue IF game for other people's games would be kind of funny"
Tale realizes the next Speed will be PAX. Oh fuuuu-
Jacqueline says (to Ell), "That would be fun, yeah."
Tale says, "Yeah, that would be really cool."
Ellison says, "maybe we should do a pre-PAX SpeedIF just so I can gauge how quickly I can actually spit out a game"
DavidW asks, "hm. I know I want to completely rewrite Domicile, but I can't think of... oh. There was one game where time stopped and one goes elsewhere and restarts it, but there was no follow through with any backstory or consequences. What game was that?"
DavidW says, "Frozen. That was it."
DavidW says, "I never gave much thought though where that game could go, though."
Ellison says, "interesting"
djfletch has had his fill of playing for now, and goes back to the Lounge. DavidW says, "I suppose it would be uncool to finish someone else's IntroComp game."
Ellison says, "well, at least Unthawed will be a singular title"
Jacqueline says (to DW), "Well, you should probably ask them first."
DavidW says, "I parsed that as Unth awed."
DavidW says (to Jacqueline), "Fiendieshier Zoo. The Harrington House Plus. Intro to Jabberwocky: The Epic Conclusion!"
Jacqueline smiles.
Gerynar disappears through an invisible gap in the MUD. You think you may have heard the sounds of chatting before the gap closed again. Tale says, "I could write an ending to Jack in the Box, I guess."
Jacqueline says, "Oh man, Harrington House. That one."
Ellison says, "ha ha"
DavidW says, "Harrington House needs to be finished."
Tale asks, "which one was it?"
DavidW says, "It was the usual weirdzo mansion setup."
DavidW says, "With a bit of time travel."
DavidW says, "iirc."
Nitku says, "We could have a sequel title comp"
DavidW says, "I think your wacky aunt had some MacGuffin that everyone wants but can't find. And you probably have to *be* your aunt in the past, or something weird like that."
Tale says, "We should have a name generator comp at some point"
DavidW asks (of Tale), "Doesn't Nitku's name generator suffice?"
Tale asks, "We should write games for that! How else am I gonna get "I rescued Elvis! Adventure" out of my head?"
Nitku says, "with a drill"
Ellison says, "hee"
DavidW says, "Elvis has left the cranium."
Tale says, "The Day I rescued Elvis ... hmmm..."
Nitku says (to DW), "ha ha"
Ellison says (to DW), "hee"



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