ClubFloyd Transcript:
Sins Against Mimesis by Adam Thornton

As played on ifMUD on January 23, 2010

The idea behind ClubFloyd is that each week at a pre-arranged time, a group of people meet online to cooperatively play a game of interactive fiction.

Below is a transcript of Sins Against Mimesis, written by Adam Thornton. Sins Against Mimesis was originally released as part of the 1997 Interactive Fiction competition, where it took ninth place. It went on to be a finalist for Best Individual NPC, Best Individual Puzzle, and Best Setting Xyzzies. You can learn more about the game, including how to download it, by visiting the ifWiki.

WARNING! Below you will find a transcript of people playing this game, and it goes without saying that the transcript is full of spoilers. So, if you've never played this game, and think you might like to at some point, I do not recommend reading any further. Instead, you might want to return to the interactive fiction page.


ToyShop & Floyditorium
#ClubFloyd Discussion
 
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "load mimesis"
Floyd | Welcome to the Cheap Glk Implementation, library version 0.9.0.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Pain.  Unceasing pain.  Ever since your lover Black left, something to
Floyd | do with a mysterious stranger and a time machine, your days have been
Floyd | a dull blur of gray loneliness.  Perhaps you'd feel better if you got
Floyd | out and did something.
Floyd |
Floyd | Sins Against Mimesis
Floyd | An Interactive Theosophy
Floyd | Copyright 1997 by One of The Bruces (bruce@ifcompetition.org)
Floyd | Release 1 / Serial number 970925 / Inform v6.14 Library 6/7
Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd | This is the living room of your rather squalid apartment. The huge
Floyd | compass rose on your floor reminds you that your bedroom is west, the
Floyd | front hall is north, the kitchen is east, and the bathroom is south.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your mimesis plant squats in its pot in a corner of the room, slowly
Floyd | photosynthesizing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says, "Ha ha, Black joke."
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "x me"
Floyd | As good-looking as ever.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying nothing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "x plant"
Floyd | This is a prizewinning specimen of the species Mimesis Variegans.  It
Floyd | is dark green, with yellow stripes on its luxurious leaves.  The
Floyd | mimesis plant thrives in low light and requires occasional watering.
Floyd | You've always preferred the variegated to the linear variety,
Floyd | yourself.  This one is about ten inches high.  The plant looks rather
Floyd | dry.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your heart swells with pride as you consider your beautiful
Floyd | houseplant.
Floyd |
Floyd | There is a sharp crackling and a sudden smell of ozone, as something
Floyd | appears in your hand.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   a diskette case
Floyd |     "Curses"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl asks, "Any special rules today?"
DavidW says, "Don't think so."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x compass"
Floyd | This is a compass rose inlaid on your floor, constructed painstakingly
Floyd | from pine, mahogany, and oak.  You don't quite remember why you put it
Floyd | in, but it had something to do with caving and survey shots.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x curses"
Floyd | A floppy disk labelled "Curses".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "eat disk"
Floyd | (the diskette case)
Floyd | That's plainly inedible.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says, "I suppose we could water the plant."
DavidW says, "I bet we could."
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd |
Floyd | Bathroom
Floyd | The salient feature, to borrow a technique from Detective, is the exit
Floyd | to the north.  Sure, there's a sink, a tub, a toilet, and a medicine
Floyd | cabinet in here, but I promise you that you lose nothing by failing to
Floyd | examine them.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x cabinet"
Floyd | Really, it's still just scenery.
Floyd |
Floyd | Author's Note: I'm certain I could make a bathtub you could bathe or
Floyd | shower in, with hot or cold water, a toilet that flushed and removed
Floyd | its contents, a medicine cabinet with a child-proof bottle within, and
Floyd | a fluffy towel on which to dry off.  But I haven't, and frankly I
Floyd | don't care that much about implementing bodily functions or sanitation
Floyd | in the game.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says, "Bah!"
Taleslinger says, "hehe"
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "x sink"
Floyd | Really, it's still just scenery.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger asks, "So, kitchen for water?"
DavidW says, "I guess."
ParserGirl says, "Sounds promising."
Nitku says (to Floyd), "open cabinet"
Floyd | That's not something you can open.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd |
Floyd | Your mimesis plant squats in its pot in a corner of the room, slowly
Floyd | photosynthesizing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "verbose"
Floyd | Sins Against Mimesis is now in its "verbose" mode, which always gives
Floyd | long descriptions of locations (even if you've been there before).
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd | This is the living room of your rather squalid apartment. The huge
Floyd | compass rose on your floor reminds you that your bedroom is west, the
Floyd | front hall is north, the kitchen is east, and the bathroom is south.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your mimesis plant squats in its pot in a corner of the room, slowly
Floyd | photosynthesizing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "I seem to remember this game as being very sparse in furnishings."
ParserGirl says, "I have probably played this but not for five years or more."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd |
Floyd | Kitchen
Floyd | This is your kitchen: walls papered in a yellow floral design,
Floyd | counter, cabinet, stove, table, chairs, fridge, microwave, and so on.
Floyd | The living room is west.
Floyd |
Floyd | On the counter is a juice glass (which is empty).
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "Is that a refernce to 'quietly ovulating?'"
DavidW says, "It might be, yes."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x microwave"
Floyd | Just your basic tiny microwave oven.  It has a big red button labelled
Floyd | "Zap" on the front.  It is currently closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x glass"
Floyd | The juice glass is empty.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "get glass"
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x sink"
Floyd | This is a standard issue kitchen sink.  Rather than actually
Floyd | implementing a faucet and two knobs, let's just say that you can fill
Floyd | containers from it when you want to.  It is an unlimited source of the
Floyd | finest tap water.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x cabinet"
Floyd | Merely a plain wooden cabinet.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "We shoulda noticed too. I blame my not being quite awake."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "fill glass"
Floyd | The glass is now full of water.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "open cabinet"
Floyd | You open the kitchen cabinet, revealing a red cardboard box.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x box"
Floyd | Which do you mean, the red cardboard box or the diskette case?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "red"
Floyd | This is a bright red box of "Sugar Coated Corn Puffs," a terrifyingly
Floyd | unhealthy part of your complete breakfast.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "take it"
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "read it"
Floyd | This is a bright red box of "Sugar Coated Corn Puffs," a terrifyingly
Floyd | unhealthy part of your complete breakfast.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "open red"
Floyd | Which do you mean, the red button, the refrigerator or the red
Floyd | cardboard box?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "open red cardboard"
Floyd | You open the red cardboard box, revealing some cereal and a toy.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says, "Whee!"
DavidW says, "toy!"
Jacqueline says, "hooray"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "take toy"
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x toy"
Floyd | This is an ugly blue plastic toy included as a prize in the box of
Floyd | cereal.  It appears to have no use whatsoever, and indeed it is
Floyd | unclear what, exactly, it is meant to represent.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "eat toy"
Floyd | That's plainly inedible.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Nitku says (to Floyd), "play with toy"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "open microwave"
Floyd | You open the microwave.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW asks, "You're gonna nuke the toy, aren't you?"
Jacqueline says, "Can we blow the toy up in the microwave? I suspect not."
ParserGirl says, "Not me!"
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "put toy in microwave"
Floyd | You put the toy into the microwave.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x cereal"
Floyd | The Sugar Coated Corn Puffs are whitish-yellow, with a coating of
Floyd | sugar.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "close microwave"
Floyd | You close the microwave.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says, "Kill it! Kill it!"
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "turn on microwave"
Floyd | The microwave hums briefly, and the toy vanishes in a plume of greasy
Floyd | smoke.  You can almost hear the microwave chuckle evilly.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "noooo"
Jacqueline says, "uh-oh"
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | Kitchen
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "open microwave"
Floyd | You open the microwave, revealing a toy.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Kitchen
Floyd | This is your kitchen: walls papered in a yellow floral design,
Floyd | counter, cabinet, stove, table, chairs, fridge, microwave, and so on.
Floyd | The living room is west.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says, "Maybe we should've saed!"
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "take toy"
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says, "saved, even"
Jacqueline clears the save counter.
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x table"
Floyd | A white wooden table, large enough for two people to eat at
Floyd | comfortably.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "SAVE"
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "cf1"
Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x fridge"
Floyd | This is a gigantic old fridge, bright red, of the latching-handle
Floyd | variety.  It is closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "open fridge"
Floyd | You open the refrigerator, revealing some Chinese food.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "get food"
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "x food" ParserGirl says, "Mmm."
Floyd | Some of last night's take-out General Tso's chicken.  It's spicy and
Floyd | encased in a cardboard box for your convenience.  Cold and greasy,
Floyd | though.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger asks, "The food is from the Lurking Horror?"
DavidW says, "yes, I think so."
Bert says (to Floyd), "score"
Floyd | You have so far scored 1 out of a possible 7, in 41 turns, earning you
Floyd | the rank of someone who doesn't try very hard.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Can't be. There are no shrimp to ruin."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "put food in microwave"
Floyd | You put the Chinese food into the microwave.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "fullscore"
Floyd | You have so far scored 1 out of a possible 7, in 42 turns, earning you
Floyd | the rank of someone who doesn't try very hard.
Floyd |
Floyd | The score is made up as follows:
Floyd |
Floyd |      1 Pride
Floyd |
Floyd |      1 total (out of 7)
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Ellison arrives, ready to play with the toys. Jacqueline says, "This is Adam Thornton, right? Try to start licking everything."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "close microwave"
Floyd | You close the microwave.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "lick me"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "ha ha"
Jacqueline says, "Not implemented?!"
DavidW says, "This might predate his lick everything fixation."
Taleslinger says, "I'm glad Lucea just smells everything."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x microwave"
Floyd | Just your basic tiny microwave oven.  It has a big red button labelled
Floyd | "Zap" on the front.  It is currently closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "smell me"
Floyd | You smell nothing unexpected.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "push zap"
Floyd | The tantalizing aroma of hot Chinese food assails your nostrils.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "enter microwave"
Floyd | That's not something you can enter.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "open microwave"
Floyd | You open the microwave, revealing some Chinese food.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger asks, "So we're supposed to fullfill all 7 sins? Do we have to get Brad Pitt to shoot us?"
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "smell food"
Floyd | Mmmm!  Chili peppers.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl asks, "Pride was admiring the plant?"
Nitku says (to Floyd), "eat food"
Floyd | (first taking the Chinese food)
Floyd | With your bare hands?  You have better manners than that.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "Examining it, yes. It's a mimesis plant."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Kitchen
Floyd | This is your kitchen: walls papered in a yellow floral design,
Floyd | counter, cabinet, stove, table, chairs, fridge, microwave, and so on.
Floyd | The living room is west.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x counter"
Floyd | This is a standard stained and scarred formica counter.  It's white,
Floyd | where it isn't stained.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x drawer"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Nitku says (to Floyd), "x stove"
Floyd | This is still just scenery.  Bear with me.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "x wallpaper"
Floyd | This is still just scenery.  Bear with me.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   some Chinese food
Floyd |   a toy
Floyd |   a red cardboard box (which is open)
Floyd |     some cereal
Floyd |   a juice glass
Floyd |     some cold water
Floyd |   a diskette case
Floyd |     "Curses"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "ha 'still' just"
Nitku says (to Floyd), "eat cereal?"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger asks, "We haven't watered the plant yet, have we?"
Nitku says (to Floyd), "eat cereal"
Floyd | (first taking the cereal)
Floyd | Mmmmm, tasty.  Just like, in fact, you'd expect something called
Floyd | "Sugar Coated Corn Puffs" to taste.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "Not yet"
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd | This is the living room of your rather squalid apartment. The huge
Floyd | compass rose on your floor reminds you that your bedroom is west, the
Floyd | front hall is north, the kitchen is east, and the bathroom is south.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your mimesis plant squats in its pot in a corner of the room, slowly
Floyd | photosynthesizing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "It was hinted at, I guess."
ParserGirl asks, "Should we try?"
Bert says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   some Chinese food
Floyd |   a toy
Floyd |   a red cardboard box (which is open but empty)
Floyd |   a juice glass
Floyd |     some cold water
Floyd |   a diskette case
Floyd |     "Curses"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "sure"
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "water plant"
Floyd | You carefully water the plant, wishing that you had someone to nurture
Floyd | you.  Lucky plant.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "fullscore"
Floyd | You have so far scored 2 out of a possible 7, in 59 turns, earning you
Floyd | the rank of someone in a big hurry to get to the next game.
Floyd |
Floyd | The score is made up as follows:
Floyd |
Floyd |      1 Pride
Floyd |      1 Envy
ParserGirl says, "Envy!"
Floyd |
Floyd |      2 total (out of 7)
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "nurture plant"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x case"
Floyd | This looks very much like every other cheap open-topped plastic
Floyd | disposable diskette case you've ever seen, although the "Made In Hell"
Floyd | label is a little disturbing.  It looks like it could hold about seven
Floyd | disks.  It seems to contain "Hollywood Hijinx" and "Curses".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Ellison says (to Floyd), "eat plant"
Floyd | (first taking the variegated mimesis plant)
Floyd | You greedily snatch at the mimesis.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd | You gluttonously take a bite out of one of the plant's leaves.  It's
Floyd | really nasty.  Ugh.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says, "Nice."
Bert says, "I hope we didn't need that cereal."
ParserGirl says, "There's the bedroom and the front hall."
Ellison says, "<BELCH>"
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   a variegated mimesis plant
Floyd |   some Chinese food
Floyd |   a toy
Floyd |   a red cardboard box (which is open but empty)
Floyd |   a juice glass
Floyd |   a diskette case
Floyd |     "Planetfall"
Floyd |     "Zork I"
Floyd |     "Hollywood Hijinx"
Floyd |     "Curses"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Nitku says (to Floyd), "x zork"
Floyd | A floppy disk labelled "Zork I".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger asks, "So the games are associated to one sin? With Curses being pride?"
Bert says (to Floyd), "hit plant"
Floyd | You angrily rip a leaf from the mimesis plant.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "full"
Floyd | You have so far scored 5 out of a possible 7, in 64 turns, earning you
Floyd | the rank of Malingerer.
Floyd |
Floyd | The score is made up as follows:
Floyd |
Floyd |      1 Pride
Floyd |      1 Avarice
Floyd |      1 Gluttony
Floyd |      1 Wrath
Floyd |      1 Envy
Floyd |
Floyd |      5 total (out of 7)
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "Well, no, the plant gave us envy."
Bert says (to Floyd), "kiss plant"
Floyd | You plant a kiss on the mimesis.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline asks, "Did't it?"
ParserGirl says, "Yes."
Ellison says, "also, I wonder if the 'aroma of hot Chinese' line before was taken directly from The Lurking Horror"
ParserGirl says, "We were jealous of its care."
Bert says, "The plant gave us pride."
Jacqueline asks, "And kissing it gives us lust?"
Bert says, "The plant gave us gluttony."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "sleep"
Floyd | You aren't feeling especially drowsy.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says (to PG), "Hm, yeah. Sloth"
Nitku asks, "What's the last one?"
Nitku says, "right"
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd |
Floyd | Bedroom
Floyd | The bedroom is pretty grim these days.  It's a beige rectangular prism
Floyd | with a bed in it.  There are also the usual bedroomy things: dressers,
Floyd | a lamp, a nightstand, and so on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "Try putting the plant in a bed :)"
Bert says, "It is a Mimesis plant. And the title is Sins Against Mimesis, after all."
Jacqueline says, "heh"
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "look under bed"
Floyd | No monsters, no trap doors, no dollar bills.  Nothing but dust.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "Though, I mean, sure."
Bert says (to Floyd), "put plant in bed"
Floyd | That can't contain things.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "dresser"
Bert says (to Floyd), "put plant on bed"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Floyd | You put the variegated mimesis plant on the bed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x dresser"
Floyd | Just the bric-a-brac of a standard adult bedroom.  You don't want to
Floyd | think about it.  If you think you do, go check out the bathroom or
Floyd | kitchen scenery instead.
Floyd |
Floyd | Author's Note: Sure, I could make a dresser and nightstand with
Floyd | opening drawers, a lamp you could turn on and off, a headboard you
Floyd | could tie things to, box springs for the bed, carpeting with repulsive
Floyd | items ground into it, and a sock drawer full of real live socks.  But
Floyd | I won't.  This is just scenery and it's going to stay that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | (Yes, just like the bathroom scenery.)
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Nitku says (to Floyd), "x lamp"
Floyd | Just the bric-a-brac of a standard adult bedroom.  You don't want to
Floyd | think about it.  If you think you do, go check out the bathroom or
Floyd | kitchen scenery instead.
Floyd |
Floyd | (Yes, just like the bathroom scenery.)
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x bed"
Floyd | Your bed is a lovely four-poster king-size bed, made out of finely
Floyd | carved cherry wood.  It's much too big for you alone, you can't help
Floyd | but realize.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "tuck in plant"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Bedroom
Floyd | The bedroom is pretty grim these days.  It's a beige rectangular prism
Floyd | with a bed in it.  There are also the usual bedroomy things: dressers,
Floyd | a lamp, a nightstand, and so on.
Floyd |
Floyd | On the bed is a variegated mimesis plant.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "get on bed"
Floyd | You get onto the bed.
Floyd |
Floyd | On the bed you can see a variegated mimesis plant.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "sleep"
Floyd | You toss and turn, but the bed is simply far too big to sleep in
Floyd | alone, and you sent Blamant the Teddy Bear out to be cleaned this
Floyd | morning.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "take plant"
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert exclaims, "But we're not alone! We've got a Mimesis plant!"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "sleep"
Floyd | You clutch the mimesis plant to your chest, and fall into a troubled
Floyd | sleep, haunted with dreams of chessboards and featureless white cubes.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "get off bed"
Floyd | You get off the bed.
Floyd |
Floyd | Bedroom
Floyd | The bedroom is pretty grim these days.  It's a beige rectangular prism
Floyd | with a bed in it.  There are also the usual bedroomy things: dressers,
Floyd | a lamp, a nightstand, and so on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Ellison says (to Floyd), "put plant under bed"
Floyd | I didn't understand that sentence.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "I got it"
Bert says (to Floyd), "score"
Floyd | You have so far scored 7 out of a possible 7, in 79 turns, earning you
Floyd | the rank of First-Class Passenger on the Hellbound Express.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "fullscore"
Floyd | You have so far scored 7 out of a possible 7, in 79 turns, earning you
Floyd | the rank of First-Class Passenger on the Hellbound Express.
Floyd |
Floyd | The score is made up as follows:
Floyd |
Floyd |      1 Pride
Floyd |      1 Avarice
Floyd |      1 Lust
Floyd |      1 Gluttony
Floyd |      1 Sloth
Floyd |      1 Wrath
Floyd |      1 Envy
Floyd |
Floyd |      7 total (out of 7)
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd | This is the living room of your rather squalid apartment. The huge
Floyd | compass rose on your floor reminds you that your bedroom is west, the
Floyd | front hall is north, the kitchen is east, and the bathroom is south.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Front Hall
Floyd | This is the front hall; a door north leads outside, and the living
Floyd | room is to the south.
Floyd |
Floyd | A devil, looking for all the world like a cross between the BSD Unix
Floyd | devil and Bill Gates, slouches insolently in the corner.
Floyd |
Floyd | The door is closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert exclaims, "Woo!"
Bert asks, "Uh. What do we do now?"
DavidW says, "Also note: His dream!"
Jacqueline asks, "But the game does not end with that?"
Jacqueline says (to DW), "hahaha"
Jacqueline says, "True"
DavidW asks (of Jacqueline), "oh, this isn't the end. What room have we skipped?"
Jacqueline says, "Now I'll have to include our #porn conversation in the transcript!"
ParserGirl says, "Devil came down to his apartment, he was looking to eat some Chinese"
Bert asks, "Wait, didn't the intro say something about wanting to get out of the house?"
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x devil"
Floyd | He is a jolly, fat little devil, with thick glasses, a Moe haircut,
Floyd | short but sharp-looking horns, a long tail with a barb on the end, a
Floyd | pink T-shirt reading "IETF 28 Terminal Room", Birkenstocks (which look
Floyd | particularly silly on his hooves), too-tight cordouroy pants, and a
Floyd | pocket protector.  His complexion manages, through the mysteries of
Floyd | the supernatural, to be simultaneously firebrick red and pasty white.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "devil, hi"
Floyd | The devil glares at you and mumbles, "Bletch foobar to you too!"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Ellison says, "I want to say that this game ended with a 'The End' joke (that was the name of jnc's game, right?), but I could be wrong"
Bert says (to Floyd), "kiss devil"
Floyd | "No, you nincompoop!  <snort>  I'm not the target of your sins!"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "ask devil about devil"
Floyd | "Bob's the name!  Interactive fiction's the game!  Well, actually, the
Floyd | meta-game, I guess, because 'the game' properly ought to refer to an
Floyd | actual title, such as Jigsaw or something.  Say, <snort>, can I go out
Floyd | with your sister?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "pray"
Floyd | Nothing practical results from your prayer.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "devil, yes"
Floyd | "You <snort> can't make me!  I'm supernatural."
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "ask devil about plant"
Floyd | " A hardy houseplant.  I never was much into <snort> botany myself.
Floyd | Now, the <giggle> subtle manipulations of Turbo Pascal...<snort>"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "snort"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "show food to devil"
Floyd | The demon stares at you as if you are mad.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "ask devil about sins against mimesis"
Floyd | "Sins, deadly.  <snort> Pride, Avarice, Sloth <snort>, Gluttony, Envy,
Floyd | Wrath, and <giggle> Lust."
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "ask devil about adam"
Floyd | "NAK!  NAK!  Re-transmit! <snort>"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "snort"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "ask devil about hollywood hijinx"
ParserGirl asks, "devil about door"
Floyd | "That's for me to know <snort> and you to play!"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Nitku says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   a variegated mimesis plant
Floyd |   some Chinese food
Floyd |   a toy
Floyd |   a red cardboard box (which is open but empty)
Floyd |   a juice glass
Floyd |   a diskette case
Floyd |     "In The End"
Floyd |     "The Incredibly Erotic Adventures of Stiffy Makane"
Floyd |     "Beyond Zork"
Floyd |     "Planetfall"
Floyd |     "Zork I"
Floyd |     "Hollywood Hijinx"
Floyd |     "Curses"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "ask devil about toy"
Floyd | "NAK!  NAK!  Re-transmit! <snort>"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says, "OH! I finally get the diskette case."
Bert says, "Oh, each sin gave us a game? Nice."
Bert asks, "Which was which?"
DavidW says, "yes"
Ellison says, "ah, 'In The End.' that's the name of the game that I was thinking of."
Bert says, "Stiffy for Lust, Curses for Pride, probably Zork for Greed..."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "show case to devil"
Floyd | The devil peers into the case.  "So, you think you're a sinner, huh?
Floyd | Well, let's see...so far you have Sloth, Avarice, Pride, Envy,
Floyd | Gluttony, Wrath, <giggle snort> Lust, and that's the complete set.
Floyd | Good job! Tell you what.  Diskettes are so <snort> archaic.  Let
Floyd | me..."  The devil takes your diskette case and squeezes it hard while
Floyd | chanting "Fee, Fie, Foe, Foo!"  Squashing it into a CD, he hands it
Floyd | to you.  Then he gestures with his finger, and the front door swings
Floyd | open.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "I'd guess either In The End or Planetfall for Sloth."
DavidW says, "In The End was Sloth."
Bert says, "Maybe BZ for Wrath, since you kill things in it."
Nitku says, "They're in a reversed order of what the full score list shows"
Nitku says (to Floyd), "full score"
Floyd | You have so far scored 7 out of a possible 7, in 95 turns, earning you
Floyd | the rank of First-Class Passenger on the Hellbound Express.
Floyd |
Floyd | The score is made up as follows:
Floyd |
Floyd |      1 Pride
Floyd |      1 Avarice
Floyd |      1 Lust
Floyd |      1 Gluttony
Floyd |      1 Sloth
Floyd |      1 Wrath
Floyd |      1 Envy
Floyd |
Floyd |      7 total (out of 7)
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD
Floyd | Edition"
Floyd |   a variegated mimesis plant
Floyd |   some Chinese food
Floyd |   a toy
Floyd |   a red cardboard box (which is open but empty)
Bert says, "Maybe Gluttony for Planetfall, since it did have a hunger daemon."
Floyd |   a juice glass
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Nitku says, "No wait, it's not"
Bert says (to Nitku), "I am sure Zork I was not about Lust."
Nitku says, "It's a reversed order of what we did"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x cd"
Floyd | A sparkling CD-ROM, with an attractive logo proclaiming it to be
Floyd | Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "ask devil about cd"
Floyd | "That's for me to know <snort> and you to play!"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Unless you are a fanfic person, in which case you are probably into Troll / Thief or something."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "Stiffy Makane was Lust (as if there was any doubt)"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Ellison says (to Floyd), "play cd"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bishop says, "Zork I was Avarice."
Jacqueline asks, "I guess he had to go for the cameo appearance, but what about Leather Goddesses of Phobos?"
Bert says, "Presumably he felt Stiffy Makane was more amusing."
Bert says, "And it is hard to fault him for that."
Nitku asks, "Go outside?"
Taleslinger asks, "I haven't played Stiffy Makane yet. Is that on Floyd?"
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Front Hall
Floyd | This is the front hall; a door north leads outside, and the living
Floyd | room is to the south.
Floyd |
Floyd | A devil, looking for all the world like a cross between the BSD Unix
Floyd | devil and Bill Gates, slouches insolently in the corner.
Floyd |
Floyd | Through the open doorway, you can see a swirling violet mist, rather
Floyd | unlike the busy, dirty, and noisy street onto which it used to open.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "I'm not sure if Stiffy was ported to Z-code or not."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x mist"
Floyd | This is probably what Hendrix was thinking of when he wrote his song.
Floyd | It is disturbingly opaque, and swirls around in an unsettling and
Floyd | faintly nauseating manner.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "ask devil about mist"
Floyd | "NAK!  NAK!  Re-transmit! <snort>"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "stiffmst is there."
Bert asks, "What was the original in? AGT?"
Alex says (to Bert), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that AGT is a language for creating text adventures. It sucks, but the xtrek people like it."
DavidW says, "I think so"
DavidW says, "I'd have to check"
Taleslinger asks, "So, we go outside?"
Bert says, "The MST version might be better to play anyway."
Bert says (to Floyd), "open door"
Floyd | That's already open.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "get mist"
Floyd | That's hardly portable.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "smell mist"
Floyd | Cardamom.  Or is it coriander?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "repent"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "enter mist"
Floyd | That's not something you can enter.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW asks, "'north'?"
Bert says (to Floyd), "exit"
Floyd | But you aren't in anything at the moment.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | As you step into the mist, everything becomes indistinct and hazy; you
Floyd | spin, receding ever-farther from consciousness.  Everything goes
Floyd | black...
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrapple Factory
Floyd | Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory.  The floor would have
Floyd | been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood
Floyd | and industrial chemicals.  However, those times are long gone.  The
Floyd | conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction
Floyd | vat has long since rusted into immobility.  There are no doors or
Floyd | windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense
Floyd | empty space.  The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat
Floyd | is south.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "out"
Floyd | But you aren't in anything at the moment.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Yay! I'd totally forgotten about this part."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "SAVE"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "cf2"
Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says, "Oh. Not *that* scrapple."
ParserGirl says, "Er, Snapple."
Bert says, "It's nice at least one of these got into a real game."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "look in hole"
Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x hole"
Floyd | A rectangular hole, big enough to squeeze through.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x scrappelizer"
Floyd | The Scrappelizer was a fairly simple machine.  You dumped pigs--or
Floyd | whatnot--into the hopper at the top, and with a hideous squealing
Floyd | noise, a mass of bloody pig--or whatnot--parts would emerge on the
Floyd | conveyor belt, to be carried to the vat, where heat, chemicals, and
Floyd | time would conspire to produce Scrapple.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x vat"
Floyd | The Scrappelizer was a fairly simple machine.  You dumped pigs--or
Floyd | whatnot--into the hopper at the top, and with a hideous squealing
Floyd | noise, a mass of bloody pig--or whatnot--parts would emerge on the
Floyd | conveyor belt, to be carried to the vat, where heat, chemicals, and
Floyd | time would conspire to produce Scrapple.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD
Floyd | Edition"
Floyd |   a variegated mimesis plant
Floyd |   some Chinese food
Floyd |   a toy
Floyd |   a red cardboard box (which is open but empty)
Floyd |   a juice glass
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x bulb"
Floyd | The bare light bulb, favored by tinpot dictators and goonish
Floyd | interrogators everywhere.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "I wonder if this game has a Kunkel as well."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x belt"
Floyd | The Scrappelizer was a fairly simple machine.  You dumped pigs--or
Floyd | whatnot--into the hopper at the top, and with a hideous squealing
Floyd | noise, a mass of bloody pig--or whatnot--parts would emerge on the
Floyd | conveyor belt, to be carried to the vat, where heat, chemicals, and
Floyd | time would conspire to produce Scrapple.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Nitku says (to Floyd), "enter hole"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled
Floyd | into a home, of sorts.  It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete
Floyd | with multimedia PC.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see the Kunkel here.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel yelps.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "yes"
ParserGirl asks, "The heck is a kunkel?"
Bert exclaims, "Woot!"
DavidW says (to PG), "I have no idea. Maybe the troll doll equiv of a grue."
Bert tries to see if he can find the r*if post.
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x kunkel"
Floyd | The Kunkel is small and troll-like.  It squats before its computer,
Floyd | twitching occasionally as the virtual reality mittens on its hands
Floyd | control some action in the game going on in the VR goggles plugged
Floyd | into its computer.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel flinches and swears.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "I used to know a guy named Kunkle."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x computer"
Floyd | This must be the Kunkel's computer.  It's the very latest in
Floyd | ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology.  It seems to have VR
Floyd | goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers.
Floyd | The computer is currently switched on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "er, Kunkel or Kunkle, not sure which."
Jacqueline says, "He hated me, too."
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "open drive"
Floyd | You open the CD-ROM drive.  The Kunkel's game must have come to a
Floyd | screeching halt, because it stops twitching, swears, and thumbs the
Floyd | drive door shut before you can react.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Huh. Looks like Google's Usenet archive doesn't go back far enough."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x mittens"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "x speakers"
Floyd | This must be the Kunkel's computer.  It's the very latest in
Floyd | ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology.  It seems to have VR
Floyd | goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers.
Floyd | The computer is currently switched on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "get goggles"
Floyd | As you approach, you see that the Kunkel's face has actually grown
Floyd | into the goggles.  Revolted, you retreat.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel yelps.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "Man... Thumbs the drive door shut - I remember those days."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "turn off computer"
Floyd | By doing so, you are striking at the very reason for the Kunkel's
Floyd | existence.  It is not pleased.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Please excuse the crudity of what I'm about to do, you text-based
Floyd | Neanderthal, but my ancestors were AGT monsters."
Floyd |
Floyd | Its mouth opens to reveal teeth grotesquely out of proportion to the
Floyd | rest of its body, a fact you notice as those same teeth tear your
Floyd | flesh into tiny pieces.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** You have died ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 7 out of a possible 10, in 121 turns, earning
Floyd | you the rank of First-Class Passenger on the Hellbound Express.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score
Floyd | for that game or QUIT?
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "But it was some journalist who wrote a stupid review of, I think, Masterpieces of Infocom."
Bert says, "One that showed he pretty much had no clue what he was doing."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "give cd to kunkel"
Floyd | The Kunkel is far too engrossed in its multimedia extravaganza to
Floyd | notice you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "ah"
Bert says, "(It might have been something else that he was reviewing; I don't remember the details.)"
Jacqueline asks, "Gosh, I wonder if it's the same guy as the guy who hated me. Was he French?"
Ellison says, "hmm, what game is that teeth-death a reference to? sounds familiar"
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "give food to kunkel"
Floyd | The Kunkel is far too engrossed in its multimedia extravaganza to
Floyd | notice you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "I suspect we need to do something else to distract the Kunkel before we can insert the CD."
ParserGirl says, "AGT death message."
Jacqueline asks (of Ell), "Grews?"
Jacqueline says, "GAH! Grues, I mean."
Jacqueline says, "Man, my spelling."
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled
Floyd | into a home, of sorts.  It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete
Floyd | with multimedia PC.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see the Kunkel here.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel yelps.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says, "But we couldn't see grues to know that their teeth were out of proportion"
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrapple Factory
Floyd | Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory.  The floor would have
Floyd | been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood
Floyd | and industrial chemicals.  However, those times are long gone.  The
Floyd | conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction
Floyd | vat has long since rusted into immobility.  There are no doors or
Floyd | windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense
Floyd | empty space.  The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat
Floyd | is south.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Ellison says (to Floyd), "give cd to kunkel"
Floyd | You can only do that to something animate.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd |
Floyd | The Vat
Floyd | You are inside the rendering vat of the abandoned scrapple factory.
Floyd | Even now it reeks of despair and waste-meat food products.
Floyd |
Floyd | Great Scott!  What can only be the rucksack of the Meldrews, fabled in
Floyd | song and story, lies here at the bottom of the rendering vat.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says (to PG), "I may just be remembering from the Zork books."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "take rucksack"
Floyd | You're carrying too many things already.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x it"
Floyd | Actually, it's very tatty and greasy, saturated with long-rancid lard,
Floyd | stained with blood (or worse), and beginning to give at the seams.  It
Floyd | is open and contains a tourist map of Paris and the Rod of Returning.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "put toy in box"
Floyd | Which do you mean, the Chinese food or the red cardboard box?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Aha! [LINK]"
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "red"
Floyd | You put the toy into the red cardboard box.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "take rucksack"
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x map"
Floyd | An exorbitantly expensive map of Paris circa 1993.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x rod"
Floyd | One of the last remaining bits of Druidical Magic.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW asks, "hm. Does that mean we can zap the Kunkel somewhere else?"
Taleslinger says, "Or Zap ourselves."
Taleslinger asks, "or maybe give him the food?"
DavidW says, "yeah, I'm not sure how the rod works."
Ellison says, "ParserGirl is totally right on the AGT call. a web search brings up a sample walkthrough in the 'Introduction to the Adventure Game Toolkit'"
DavidW says, "I think the food ploy has been tried."
ParserGirl says, "He won't look at the food."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrapple Factory
Floyd | Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory.  The floor would have
Floyd | been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood
Floyd | and industrial chemicals.  However, those times are long gone.  The
Floyd | conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction
Floyd | vat has long since rusted into immobility.  There are no doors or
Floyd | windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense
Floyd | empty space.  The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat
Floyd | is south.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled
Floyd | into a home, of sorts.  It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete
Floyd | with multimedia PC.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see the Kunkel here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Ellison says (to Floyd), "give cd to kunkel"
Floyd | The Kunkel is far too engrossed in its multimedia extravaganza to
Floyd | notice you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says, "Plus, the goggles are fused to his face."
Bert says (to Floyd), "point rod at kunkel"
Floyd | You need to be holding the rod before you can point it at something.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "hold rod"
Floyd | (putting the juice glass into the rucksack to make room)
Floyd |
Floyd | With a 'pop' and a whiff of ozone, the devil appears.  "Look, I
Floyd | <snort> shouldn't be doing this, but if you're one of the last three
Floyd | people in <snort> the world who hasn't played Curses then maybe you
Floyd | need some instructions.  To charge the rod, 'strike rod.'  To use it
Floyd | 'point rod at <target>.'  Got it?"
Floyd |
Floyd | There is another 'pop' and the devil is gone.
Floyd |
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "There we go."
Ellison says, "heh"
ParserGirl says, "Hey! I've played Curses . . .just didn't finish it."
Bert says (to Floyd), "strike rod"
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says (to Bert), "man, thanks for the link"
Bert says, "I've also played it, but had no recollection of how the rod actually worked."
Bert says (to Jacq), "You're welcome."
Bert says (to Floyd), "point rod at kunkel"
Nitku says (to Floyd), "score"
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs the Kunkel, but nothing else happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel flinches and swears.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Floyd | You have so far scored 8 out of a possible 10, in 139 turns, earning
Floyd | you the rank of Scrapple Warrior.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "strike rod"
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "SAVE"
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "cf3"
Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "point rod at mysself"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "point rod at myself"
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs you, but nothing else happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "The Kunkel is apparently also [LINK])"
Nitku says, "Our maximum score has gone up"
Bert | He was the "must-read" columnist during the early days of Pro Wrestling Torch playing a key part in turning the small newsletter into a wrestling newsletter powerhouse.
Bert says (to Floyd), "strike rod"
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled
Floyd | into a home, of sorts.  It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete
Floyd | with multimedia PC.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see the Kunkel here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "point rod at pc"
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs the computer, but nothing else happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel flinches and swears.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "strike rod"
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "point rod at me"
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs you, but nothing else happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Huh."
ParserGirl says, "I don't even know what the wand was supposed to do."
DavidW asks, "Maybe zap the googles?"
Bert says (to Floyd), "x goggles"
Floyd | It's hard to see the goggles clearly, since they're on the Kunkel's
Floyd | face, and consequently twitching and swerving around.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel flinches and swears.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "er goggles"
Bert says (to Floyd), "strike want"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "point it at goggles"
Floyd | You look ridiculous pointing the VR goggles at the VR goggles.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "strike wand"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "rod"
Bert says, "Thanks."
Bert says (to Floyd), "strike rod"
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "point it at goggles"
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs the VR goggles, but nothing else
Floyd | happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   the Rod of Returning
Floyd |   a rucksack (which is open)
Floyd |     a juice glass
Floyd |     a tourist map of Paris
Floyd |   "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD
Floyd | Edition"
Floyd |   a variegated mimesis plant
Floyd |   some Chinese food
Floyd |   a red cardboard box (which is open)
Floyd |     a toy
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "strike rod. point it at me"
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs you, but nothing else happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Ellison says (to Floyd), "strike rod"
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel flinches and swears.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Ellison says (to Floyd), "point rod at kunkel"
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs the Kunkel, but nothing else happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel yelps.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Ellison says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "strike rod. point it at rod"
Floyd | The rod is already charged.
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs the Rod of Returning, but nothing else
Floyd | happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel yelps.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "strike rod. strike rod."
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd | The rod is already charged.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Technically, I think that should be physically impossible."
Bert says (to Floyd), "eat rod"
Floyd | That's plainly inedible.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x map"
Floyd | An exorbitantly expensive map of Paris circa 1993.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "point rod at plant"
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs the variegated mimesis plant, but
Floyd | nothing else happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "ask plant about rod"
Floyd | You can only do that to something animate.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "give plant to kunkel"
Floyd | The Kunkel is far too engrossed in its multimedia extravaganza to
Floyd | notice you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "strike rod. point rod at toy."
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs the toy, but nothing else happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert asks, "What was our goal in this section?"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "strike rod. point rod at map."
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs the tourist map of Paris, but nothing
Floyd | else happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "give toy to kunkel"
Floyd | (first taking the toy)
Floyd | (putting the red cardboard box into the rucksack to make room)
Floyd | The Kunkel is far too engrossed in its multimedia extravaganza to
Floyd | notice you.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel yelps.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled
Floyd | into a home, of sorts.  It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete
Floyd | with multimedia PC.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see the Kunkel here.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel flinches and swears.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "I think we want to put the CD in the drive."
Bert says (to Floyd), "x extravaganza"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x pc"
Floyd | This must be the Kunkel's computer.  It's the very latest in
Floyd | ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology.  It seems to have VR
Floyd | goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers.
Floyd | The computer is currently switched on.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel flinches and swears.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "turn off pc"
Floyd | By doing so, you are striking at the very reason for the Kunkel's
Floyd | existence.  It is not pleased.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Please excuse the crudity of what I'm about to do, you text-based
Floyd | Neanderthal, but my ancestors were AGT monsters."
Floyd |
Floyd | Its mouth opens to reveal teeth grotesquely out of proportion to the
Floyd | rest of its body, a fact you notice as those same teeth tear your
Floyd | flesh into tiny pieces.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** You have died ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 8 out of a possible 10, in 167 turns, earning
Floyd | you the rank of Scrapple Warrior.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score
Floyd | for that game or QUIT?
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Oops."
DavidW says, "yes, we tried that."
ParserGirl says (to Bert), "Tried that earlier."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x speakers"
Floyd | This must be the Kunkel's computer.  It's the very latest in
Floyd | ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology.  It seems to have VR
Floyd | goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers.
Floyd | The computer is currently switched on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Nitku says (to Floyd), "x speakers"
Floyd | This must be the Kunkel's computer.  It's the very latest in
Floyd | ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology.  It seems to have VR
Floyd | goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers.
Floyd | The computer is currently switched on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW asks, "Have we explored everywhere?"
Taleslinger asks, "Is there any room we haven't been?"
Taleslinger says, "...timinf"
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled
Floyd | into a home, of sorts.  It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete
Floyd | with multimedia PC.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
Bert says (to Floyd), "enter hole"
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see the Kunkel here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrapple Factory
Floyd | Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory.  The floor would have
Floyd | been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood
Floyd | and industrial chemicals.  However, those times are long gone.  The
Floyd | conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction
Floyd | vat has long since rusted into immobility.  There are no doors or
Floyd | windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense
Floyd | empty space.  The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat
Floyd | is south.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd |
Floyd | The Vat
Floyd | You are inside the rendering vat of the abandoned scrapple factory.
Floyd | Even now it reeks of despair and waste-meat food products.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "smell"
Floyd | The stench in here is enough to make far stronger people than you
Floyd | retch.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "retch"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x scrapple"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "eat food"
Floyd | With your bare hands?  You have better manners than that.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "out"
Floyd | But you aren't in anything at the moment.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Ellison says (to Taleslinger), "nice. I'm a big proponent of adding responses to stuff like that."
Bert says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrapple Factory
Floyd | Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory.  The floor would have
Floyd | been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood
Floyd | and industrial chemicals.  However, those times are long gone.  The
Floyd | conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction
Floyd | vat has long since rusted into immobility.  There are no doors or
Floyd | windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense
Floyd | empty space.  The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat
Floyd | is south.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW asks, "Wasn't there a conveyer belt?"
Bert says (to Floyd), "x bulb"
Floyd | The bare light bulb, favored by tinpot dictators and goonish
Floyd | interrogators everywhere.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x belt"
Floyd | The Scrappelizer was a fairly simple machine.  You dumped pigs--or
Floyd | whatnot--into the hopper at the top, and with a hideous squealing
Floyd | noise, a mass of bloody pig--or whatnot--parts would emerge on the
Floyd | conveyor belt, to be carried to the vat, where heat, chemicals, and
Floyd | time would conspire to produce Scrapple.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "get bulb"
Floyd | That's hardly portable.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "enter belt"
Floyd | That's not something you can enter.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "hopper"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "belt"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x belt"
Floyd | The Scrappelizer was a fairly simple machine.  You dumped pigs--or
Floyd | whatnot--into the hopper at the top, and with a hideous squealing
Floyd | noise, a mass of bloody pig--or whatnot--parts would emerge on the
Floyd | conveyor belt, to be carried to the vat, where heat, chemicals, and
Bert says (to Floyd), "strike rod. point it at scrapplizer"
Floyd | time would conspire to produce Scrapple.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "strike rod. point it at scrappelizer"
Floyd | The rod is already charged.
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs the Scrappelizer, but nothing else
Floyd | happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "get on belt"
Floyd | That's not something you can enter.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "put toy in belt"
Floyd | That can't contain things.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "put toy on belt"
Floyd | Putting things on the Scrappelizer would achieve nothing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "open belt"
Floyd | That's not something you can open.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Yeah, I think we have to deal with the Kunkel."
Taleslinger asks, "Are you sure we tried giving the food ot the kunkel?"
Bert says, "I wonder if there's anything important we neglected to do in the apartment."
Bert says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled
Floyd | into a home, of sorts.  It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete
Floyd | with multimedia PC.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see the Kunkel here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "give food to kunkel"
Floyd | The Kunkel is far too engrossed in its multimedia extravaganza to
Floyd | notice you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   a toy
Floyd |   the Rod of Returning
Floyd |   a rucksack (which is open)
Floyd |     a red cardboard box (which is open but empty)
Floyd |     a juice glass
Floyd |     a tourist map of Paris
Floyd |   "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD
Floyd | Edition"
Floyd |   a variegated mimesis plant
Floyd |   some Chinese food
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "give rod to kunkel"
Floyd | The Kunkel is far too engrossed in its multimedia extravaganza to
Floyd | notice you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "That's about five times now with the food."
Bert says (to Floyd), "give cd to kunkel"
Floyd | The Kunkel is far too engrossed in its multimedia extravaganza to
Floyd | notice you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "put cd in pc"
Floyd | The computer is closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel yelps.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "open computer"
Floyd | You open the CD-ROM drive.  The Kunkel's game must have come to a
Floyd | screeching halt, because it stops twitching, swears, and thumbs the
Floyd | drive door shut before you can react.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel flinches and swears.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "strike rod. point it at cd"
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces
Floyd | of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition", but nothing else happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel yelps.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "strike rod. point it at plant"
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs the variegated mimesis plant, but
Floyd | nothing else happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel yelps.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "strike rod. point it at toy"
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel yelps.
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs the toy, but nothing else happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "strike rod. point it at kunkel"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x plant"
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs the Kunkel, but nothing else happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel flinches and swears.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Floyd | This is a prizewinning specimen of the species Mimesis Variegans.  It
Floyd | is dark green, with yellow stripes on its luxurious leaves.  The
Floyd | mimesis plant thrives in low light and requires occasional watering.
Floyd | You've always preferred the variegated to the linear variety,
Floyd | yourself.  This one is about ten inches high.  A large bite has been
Floyd | taken out of one leaf.  It appears well-loved.  One of the leaves is
Floyd | ripped.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "love plant"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x leaf"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "strike rod. point it at cd drive"
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to point the Rod of Returning
Floyd | at "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD
Floyd | Edition".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "throw plant at kunkel"
Floyd | The Kunkel somehow senses your impending attack.  It rises and faces
Floyd | you.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Please excuse the crudity of what I'm about to do, you text-based
Floyd | Neanderthal, but my ancestors were AGT monsters."
Floyd |
Floyd | Its mouth opens to reveal teeth grotesquely out of proportion to the
Floyd | rest of its body, a fact you notice as those same teeth tear your
Floyd | flesh into tiny pieces.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** You have died ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 8 out of a possible 10, in 208 turns, earning
Floyd | you the rank of Scrapple Warrior.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score
Floyd | for that game or QUIT?
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x pc"
Floyd | This must be the Kunkel's computer.  It's the very latest in
Floyd | ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology.  It seems to have VR
Floyd | goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers.
Floyd | The computer is currently switched on.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel yelps.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "full"
Floyd | You have so far scored 8 out of a possible 10, in 209 turns, earning
Floyd | you the rank of Scrapple Warrior.
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x speakers"
Floyd |
Floyd | The score is made up as follows:
Floyd |
Floyd |      1 Pride
Floyd |      1 Avarice
Floyd |      1 Lust
Floyd |      1 Gluttony
Floyd |      1 Sloth
Floyd |      1 Wrath
Floyd |      1 Envy
Floyd |      1 Getting the Rod of Returning
Floyd |
Floyd |      8 total (out of 10)
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Floyd | This must be the Kunkel's computer.  It's the very latest in
Floyd | ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology.  It seems to have VR
Floyd | goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers.
Floyd | The computer is currently switched on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "get map"
Floyd | (putting the Chinese food into the rucksack to make room)
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline | Brian Moriarty, who later made his bones with Loom, gives us Beyond Zork, which isn't even science fiction, but straight-out fantasy!
Jacqueline says, "The horror!"
Bert says (to Floyd), "f eat map"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "hit kunkel"
Floyd | The Kunkel somehow senses your impending attack.  It rises and faces
Floyd | you.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Please excuse the crudity of what I'm about to do, you text-based
Floyd | Neanderthal, but my ancestors were AGT monsters."
Floyd |
Floyd | Its mouth opens to reveal teeth grotesquely out of proportion to the
Floyd | rest of its body, a fact you notice as those same teeth tear your
Floyd | flesh into tiny pieces.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** You have died ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 8 out of a possible 10, in 211 turns, earning
Floyd | you the rank of Scrapple Warrior.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score
Floyd | for that game or QUIT?
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Heh. Well, it was the Sci Fi Collection that he was reviewing, admittedly."
Bert says (to Floyd), "kunkel, hi"
Floyd | The Kunkel is far too engrossed in its multimedia extravaganza to
Floyd | notice you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "get goggles"
Floyd | As you approach, you see that the Kunkel's face has actually grown
Floyd | into the goggles.  Revolted, you retreat.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "x drive"
Floyd | This must be the Kunkel's computer.  It's the very latest in
Floyd | ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology.  It seems to have VR
Floyd | goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers.
Floyd | The computer is currently switched on.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel yelps.
Floyd |
Jacqueline says, "Oh, not the masterpieces, true."
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "ask kunkel about computer"
Floyd | The Kunkel is far too engrossed in its multimedia extravaganza to
Floyd | notice you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "pull goggles"
Floyd | Nothing obvious happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "pull drive"
Floyd | It is fixed in place.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "turn off goggles"
Floyd | That's not something you can switch.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel yelps.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x speakers"
Floyd | This must be the Kunkel's computer.  It's the very latest in
Floyd | ultra-whiz-bang mega-expensive technology.  It seems to have VR
Floyd | goggles, a CD-ROM drive, and big speakers.
Floyd | The computer is currently switched on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "get spearkers"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "unplug goggles"
Floyd | You unplug the VR goggles.
Floyd | The Kunkel sits stock-still, stunned by the loss of visual input.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "turn off speaker"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "open computer"
Floyd | You open the computer, revealing a CD labelled "Stiffy Makane, Space
Floyd | Marine".
Floyd | The Kunkel begins to fumble for the cord of its VR goggles.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "put cd in computer"
Floyd | Which do you mean, a CD labelled "Stiffy Makane, Space Marine" or
Floyd | "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD
Floyd | Edition"?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "masterpieces"
Floyd | There is no more room in the computer.
Floyd | The Kunkel blunders around trying to reconnect the goggles.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "get stiffy"
Floyd | (putting the variegated mimesis plant into the rucksack to make room)
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd | It looks as if the Kunkel is about to succeed in plugging in the
Floyd | goggles.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "put masterpieces in computer"
Floyd | You put "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive
Floyd | Fiction, CD Edition" into the computer.
Floyd | The Kunkel manages to plug the goggles back into the computer.
Floyd | The Kunkel sighs and closes the CD-ROM drive.
Floyd | The Kunkel, not suspecting your ruse, shrieks as wave after wave of
Floyd | pure text pummels its senses.
Floyd |
Floyd | With a sickening 'schlupp' the VR goggles explode from the Kunkel's
Floyd | face as its head splits open and it keels over, dead.
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "SAVE"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "cf4"
Floyd | Enter saved game to store: Ok.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert exclaims, "Yay!"
Nitku says, "heh"
ParserGirl says, "Phew."
Jacqueline says, "w00t"
Bert says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled
Floyd | into a home, of sorts.  It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete
Floyd | with multimedia PC.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see the Kunkel and a pair of VR goggles here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "That's hilarious."
Bert says (to Floyd), "x kunkel"
Floyd | The dead Kunkel lies on the ground, its head blown open and its eyes
Floyd | popped out, revealing the emptiness of its cranial cavity.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x stiffy"
Floyd | It's a garishly printed CD entitled Stiffy Makane, Space Marine.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x goggles"
Floyd | A pair of slightly charred VR goggles, currently plugged into the
Floyd | computer.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "wear goggles"
Floyd | (first taking the VR goggles)
Floyd |
Floyd | Wow!  Virtual reality really does work!  With a sensation of great
Floyd | speed, you are transported to....
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | If nothing else, you have a good seat. The stage is only a few rows to
Floyd | the north. People are jammed on benches in every direction; you think
Floyd | the aisle is somewhere to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "I wonder if there'll be a cool breeze."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   a CD labelled "Stiffy Makane, Space Marine"
Floyd |   a tourist map of Paris
Floyd |   a toy
Floyd |   the Rod of Returning
Floyd |   a rucksack (which is open)
Floyd |     a variegated mimesis plant
Floyd |     some Chinese food
Floyd |     a red cardboard box (which is open but empty)
Floyd |     a juice glass
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x people"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says, "I wonder what would've happened if we just removed the CD"
Bert says (to Floyd), "x stage"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Or if we'd entered Stiffy instead of this one."
Taleslinger says, "Noooo, not So Far."
Bert says (to Floyd), "x benches"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | You are on a wide lawn just north of the entrance to the Robner
Floyd | estate. Directly north at the end of a pebbled path is the Robner
Floyd | house, flanked to the northeast and northwest by a vast expanse of
Floyd | well-kept lawn. Beyond the house can be seen the lakefront.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x path"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | This is a featureless corridor similar to every other corridor on the
Floyd | ship. It curves away to starboard, and a gangway leads up. To port is
Floyd | the entrance to one of the ship's primary escape pods. The pod
Floyd | bulkhead is closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "port"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a
Floyd | boarded front door.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | A tide of perambulators surges north along the crowded Broad Walk.
Floyd | Shaded glades stretch away to the northeast, and a hint of color marks
Floyd | the western edge of the Flower Walk.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "point rod at me"
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs you and you awaken on the hard metal
Floyd | floor of the Scrappelizer.  The VR goggles lie next to you as you
Floyd | painfully regain your feet.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled
Floyd | into a home, of sorts.  It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete
Floyd | with multimedia PC.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see a pair of VR goggles and the Kunkel here.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Ah. So that's what the rod is for."
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "open drie"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "open drive"
Floyd | You open the computer, revealing "Sinful Delights and More:
Floyd | Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "open computer. get masterpieces"
Floyd | That's already open.
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "put stiffy in drive. close it."
Floyd | You put a CD labelled "Stiffy Makane, Space Marine" into the computer.
Floyd | That's not something you can close.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says (to bert), "Heh, go ahead"
Bert says (to Floyd), "close drive"
Floyd | You close the computer.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Nah, feel free to compete. I don't think it'll hurt :)"
Bert says (to Floyd), "wear goggles"
Floyd | (first taking the VR goggles)
Floyd |
Floyd | Wow!  Virtual reality really does work!  With a sensation of great
Floyd | speed, you are transported to....
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Ganymede Base Corridor XQJ-913
Floyd | A dull metal corridor, lit by flickering lights.  The corridor
Floyd | continues west and ends in a pink door to the northeast with a pink
Floyd | keyhole.  Painted in drippy blood on the wall are the word Shangri-La
Floyd | and an arrow pointing west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The pink door bars passage to the northeast.
Floyd |
Floyd | You hear a sinister giggling from the west somewhere.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "listen"
Floyd | You hear nothing unexpected.
Floyd |
Floyd | A fearsome "HONK, HONK!" echoes from the western corridor.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   a pink key
Floyd |   a big gun
Floyd |   "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD
Floyd | Edition"
Floyd |   a tourist map of Paris
Floyd |   a toy
Floyd |   the Rod of Returning
Floyd |   a rucksack (which is open)
Floyd |     a variegated mimesis plant
Floyd |     some Chinese food
Floyd |     a red cardboard box (which is open but empty)
Floyd |     a juice glass
Floyd |
Floyd | Loud, sensual moans are coming from the west and approaching rapidly.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "A pink keyhole. And blood. Not disturbing at all, no..."
Bert says (to Floyd), "x gun"
Floyd | BIG GUN KICK THE HELL OUTTA YOU!
Floyd |
Floyd | "Pwoik, pwoik, pwoik" resounds from the west, quite nearby.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "We have a pink key and a big gun"
Bert says (to Floyd), "x key"
Floyd | It is a pink cylindrical key, several inches long, and about an inch
Floyd | thick, with one rounded end.
Floyd |
Floyd | A girlish shriek comes from just down the corridor.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x penis"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Well, not much value for us here, then."
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "w"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x me"
Floyd | You stumble down the corridor and into a large room.
Floyd |
Floyd | A patrol of maurauding ultravixens has entered the area.  Your big gun
Floyd | is no match for their power.  Swiftly they crush you to death between
Floyd | their thighs.
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** You have died ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 9 out of a possible 10, in 246 turns, earning
Floyd | you the rank of Vanquisher of the Kunkel.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score
Floyd | for that game or QUIT?
Floyd | >
Floyd | Please give one of the answers above.
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd |
Bert says (to Floyd), "x me"
Floyd | Please give one of the answers above.
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd |
Bert says, "Er. Oof."
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | Ganymede Base Corridor XQJ-913
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Phew."
Bert says (to Floyd), "x me"
Floyd | As good-looking as ever.
Floyd |
Floyd | A patrol of maurauding ultravixens has entered the area.  Your big gun
Floyd | is no match for their power.  Swiftly they crush you to death between
Floyd | their thighs.
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** You have died ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 9 out of a possible 10, in 247 turns, earning
Floyd | you the rank of Vanquisher of the Kunkel.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score
Floyd | for that game or QUIT?
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | Ganymede Base Corridor XQJ-913
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | [Can't "undo" twice in succession. Sorry!]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "/undo"
Floyd | Ganymede Base Corridor XQJ-913
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "/undo"
Floyd | Ganymede Base Corridor XQJ-913
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "/undo"
Floyd | Ganymede Base Corridor XQJ-913
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "unlock door"
Floyd | What do you want to unlock the pink door with?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "key"
Floyd | You insert the key into the keyhole.  It throbs and vanishes.  The
Floyd | door opens, like a flower blooming.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Pwoik, pwoik, pwoik" resounds from the west, quite nearby.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "ne"
Floyd |
Floyd | Ganymede Base Room J-14-B-3.2
Floyd | This is a tiny room full of evil-looking machines and flashing lights.
Floyd | The only exit is southwest.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see Black here.
Floyd |
Floyd | A girlish shriek comes from just down the corridor.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x machines"
Floyd | Yes, this is just scenery.  Just like in Doom.
Floyd |
Floyd | Just outside the door, someone screams
Floyd | "Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhh!"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x black"
Floyd | As attractive as ever.  Black appears to be unconscious and bolted
Floyd | into some sort of evil-looking machine.
Floyd |
Floyd | "EEEEEK!" comes from the southwest
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger says, "Yay Doom"
Bert says (to Floyd), "free black"
Floyd | That's not a verb I recognise.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "heehee"
Bert says (to Floyd), "x bolt"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "kiss black"
Floyd | This is hardly the time for romance.
Floyd |
Floyd | You hear a girlish voice reminiscing about the delights of "Cabin
Floyd | Boy", just to the southwest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "strike rod"
Floyd | The Rod of Returning charges up, drawing power from ley lines, or
Floyd | something like that.
Floyd |
Floyd | You hear the squeaking of silicone-enhanced breasts rubbing together,
Floyd | coming your way!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "point it at black"
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs Black.  There is a huge noise and white
Floyd | blots out your vision as the rod melts in your hands....
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | ....and, hours later, you awaken on the floor of the Scrappelizer,
Floyd | Black, crying, dabbing at your forehead with a cloth.
Floyd |
Floyd | "I'm really sorry," are Black's first words.  "White was such a bore.
Floyd | Never let me do anything I wanted to, kept preventing me from wrecking
Floyd | history, always sketching animals in that dumb little book.  So
Floyd | naturally I accepted a lift from the first cattle-mutilating
Floyd | ultravixen that came along, and you see where that got me.  Thanks for
Floyd | rescuing me.  The fate I would have suffered at the hands of those
Floyd | ultravixens..."
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Black (simply):
Floyd | Ah, my love.  Can you forgive me?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert exclaims, "Yay!"
Bert says, "I completely forgot how great this game was."
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "black, piss off"
Floyd | Please answer yes or no.>
Bert says (to Floyd), "no"
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | You:
Floyd | Your actual words have been censored, at the request of Andrew
Floyd | Plotkin, who feels like you should actually play his game So Far to
Floyd | find out what this response is.  So go play it.  When you get there,
Floyd | you'll understand.
Floyd |
Floyd | Black begins to weep, then looks confused, then looks angry, then
Floyd | looks resigned, then looks inspired, then looks determined.  "I have
Floyd | no idea what you mean.  I mean, you could mean that, no, you don't
Floyd | forgive me, and it doesn't matter what I did that needs forgiveness
Floyd | because it's far too late.  Or maybe you mean that what I've done is
Floyd | irrelevant and thus you don't need to forgive me.  Which strikes me as
Floyd | kind of arrogant, because I'd hardly call leaving you, attempting to
Floyd | destroy the multiverse, concealing both our genders through the course
Floyd | of a long and rocky relationship, and forgetting to water the plant
Floyd | irrelevant.  Or maybe you..."  Black's head shakes from side to side.
Floyd | "I dunno.  But I do know one thing: you're stuck with me at least
Floyd | until we figure out how to get out of here."
Floyd |
Floyd | Then Black sees the houseplant: "My goodness, what have you done to
Floyd | that poor mimesis plant?"
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | So it's not perfect.  But what is?  And, all things considered, at the
Floyd | end of the day you really can't think of anyone with whom you'd rather
Floyd | be trapped in an abandoned scrapple factory.
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** You have won ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 10 out of a possible 10, in 250 turns, earning
Floyd | you the rank of Master Mimetic.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score
Floyd | for that game, see some suggestions for AMUSING things to do or QUIT?
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "This was very awesome, yes."
Jacqueline says, "As Adam's stuff generally is."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "amusing"
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |  N = next subject                                                  P =
Floyd |  RETURN = read subject                                          Q = re
Floyd | sume game
Floyd |
Floyd |    > Have you tried...
Floyd |
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...LEWD, RACY, and TAME? [1/17]
Bert says, "I assume we can undo to see the alternative option."
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...asking the devil about himself? [2/17]
Taleslinger says, "Ha ha, awesome."
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...asking about him by name before he's told you his name? [3/17]
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...Lust in LEWD mode? [4/17]
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...examining the scenery objects in the bedroom, bathroom, kitchen,
Floyd | and Ganymede Base Room J-14-B-3.2? [5/17]
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...putting the fork in the microwave? [6/17]
DavidW asks, "We never found the fork, did we?"
Bert says, "We did not."
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...heating anything besides the fork and the Chinese food in the
Floyd | microwave? [7/17]
Jacqueline says, "Yes."
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...smelling the purple mist? [8/17]
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...kissing the Kunkel? [9/17]
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...smelling or tasting anything in the rendering vat? [10/17]
Jacqueline says, "Like, not the fork, the toy, I mean."
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...smelling or tasting the rucksack? [11/17]
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...smelling or tasting the Kunkel? [12/17]
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...wearing the VR Goggles with the text adventure CD in the computer?
Floyd | [13/17]
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...dropping the tourist map of Paris in the Text World Attic? [14/17]
DavidW says, "ha"
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...attacking Black? [15/17]
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd | ...answering "maybe" to Black's question? [16/17]
Floyd | ...actually playing The Incredibly Erotic Adventures of Stiffy Makane?
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | [That's All Folks!]
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |  N = next subject                                                  P =
Floyd |  RETURN = read subject                                          Q = re
Floyd | sume game
Floyd |
Floyd |    > Have you tried...
Floyd |
Bert says (to Floyd), "q"
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score
Floyd | for that game, see some suggestions for AMUSING things to do or QUIT?
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd |
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd |
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd |
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | Please answer yes or no.>
Bert says (to Floyd), "no"
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | You:
Floyd | Your actual words have been censored, at the request of Andrew
Floyd | Plotkin, who feels like you should actually play his game So Far to
Floyd | find out what this response is.  So go play it.  When you get there,
Floyd | you'll understand.
Floyd |
Floyd | Black begins to weep, then looks confused, then looks angry, then
Floyd | looks resigned, then looks inspired, then looks determined.  "I have
Floyd | no idea what you mean.  I mean, you could mean that, no, you don't
Floyd | forgive me, and it doesn't matter what I did that needs forgiveness
Floyd | because it's far too late.  Or maybe you mean that what I've done is
Floyd | irrelevant and thus you don't need to forgive me.  Which strikes me as
Floyd | kind of arrogant, because I'd hardly call leaving you, attempting to
Floyd | destroy the multiverse, concealing both our genders through the course
Floyd | of a long and rocky relationship, and forgetting to water the plant
Floyd | irrelevant.  Or maybe you..."  Black's head shakes from side to side.
Floyd | "I dunno.  But I do know one thing: you're stuck with me at least
Floyd | until we figure out how to get out of here."
Floyd |
Floyd | Then Black sees the houseplant: "My goodness, what have you done to
Floyd | that poor mimesis plant?"
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | So it's not perfect.  But what is?  And, all things considered, at the
Floyd | end of the day you really can't think of anyone with whom you'd rather
Floyd | be trapped in an abandoned scrapple factory.
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** You have won ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 10 out of a possible 10, in 250 turns, earning
Floyd | you the rank of Master Mimetic.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score
Floyd | for that game, see some suggestions for AMUSING things to do or QUIT?
Floyd | >
Jacqueline asks, "/undo?"
Bert asks, "Wait, we just did no, didn't we?"
Bert says (to Floyd), "/undo"
Floyd |
Bert says (to Floyd), "/undo"
Floyd | Ganymede Base Room J-14-B-3.2
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "yes and no works the same."
Bert says (to Floyd), "yes"
Floyd | That was a rhetorical question.
Floyd |
Floyd | A patrol of maurauding ultravixens has entered the area.  Your big gun
Floyd | is no match for their power.  Swiftly they crush you to death between
Floyd | their thighs.
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** You have died ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 9 out of a possible 10, in 251 turns, earning
Floyd | you the rank of Vanquisher of the Kunkel.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score
Floyd | for that game or QUIT?
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | Ganymede Base Room J-14-B-3.2
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "point rod at black"
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs Black.  There is a huge noise and white
Floyd | blots out your vision as the rod melts in your hands....
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | ....and, hours later, you awaken on the floor of the Scrappelizer,
Floyd | Black, crying, dabbing at your forehead with a cloth.
Floyd |
Floyd | "I'm really sorry," are Black's first words.  "White was such a bore.
Floyd | Never let me do anything I wanted to, kept preventing me from wrecking
Floyd | history, always sketching animals in that dumb little book.  So
Floyd | naturally I accepted a lift from the first cattle-mutilating
Floyd | ultravixen that came along, and you see where that got me.  Thanks for
Floyd | rescuing me.  The fate I would have suffered at the hands of those
Floyd | ultravixens..."
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Black (simply):
Floyd | Ah, my love.  Can you forgive me?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "yes"
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | You:
Floyd | Your actual words have been censored, at the request of Andrew
Floyd | Plotkin, who feels like you should actually play his game So Far to
Floyd | find out what this response is.  So go play it.  When you get there,
Floyd | you'll understand.
Floyd |
Floyd | Black smiles through the tears.  "That's really sweet of you, but you
Floyd | know you're full of it.  There's a lot to forgive: leaving you,
Floyd | attempting to wreck the course of the Twentieth Century, forgetting to
Floyd | water the plant..."  Black bursts into tears again.
Floyd |
Floyd | Then Black sees the houseplant: "My goodness, what have you done to
Floyd | that poor mimesis plant?"
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | So it's not perfect.  But what is?  And, all things considered, at the
Floyd | end of the day you really can't think of anyone with whom you'd rather
Floyd | be trapped in an abandoned scrapple factory.
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** You have won ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 10 out of a possible 10, in 250 turns, earning
Floyd | you the rank of Master Mimetic.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score
Floyd | for that game, see some suggestions for AMUSING things to do or QUIT?
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd |
Bert says (to Floyd), "maybe"
Floyd | Please give one of the answers above.
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd |
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | Ganymede Base Room J-14-B-3.2
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "point rod at black"
Floyd | A flash of white light engulfs Black.  There is a huge noise and white
Floyd | blots out your vision as the rod melts in your hands....
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | ....and, hours later, you awaken on the floor of the Scrappelizer,
Floyd | Black, crying, dabbing at your forehead with a cloth.
Floyd |
Floyd | "I'm really sorry," are Black's first words.  "White was such a bore.
Floyd | Never let me do anything I wanted to, kept preventing me from wrecking
Floyd | history, always sketching animals in that dumb little book.  So
Floyd | naturally I accepted a lift from the first cattle-mutilating
Floyd | ultravixen that came along, and you see where that got me.  Thanks for
Floyd | rescuing me.  The fate I would have suffered at the hands of those
Floyd | ultravixens..."
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Black (simply):
Floyd | Ah, my love.  Can you forgive me?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "maybe"
Floyd |
Floyd | Black blinks.  "Oh.  Yes.  That's right.  Now I remember why I left
Floyd | you in the first place.  You're a wuss."  Then Black picks up the
Floyd | Kunkel's corpse and beats you to death with it.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** You have died ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 10 out of a possible 10, in 250 turns, earning
Floyd | you the rank of Master Mimetic.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score
Floyd | for that game or QUIT?
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "HA"
DavidW says, "ha"
Jacqueline says, "Oh man."
Jacqueline says, "That was unexpected."
DavidW asks, "I wonder where the fork was. Was there a sofa we didn't search?"
Taleslinger says, "Man, all the stuff Graham left out."
Bert asks, "Mind if I restart to check LEWD mode?"
Taleslinger says, "Not at all."
Bert says (to Floyd), "restart"
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Pain.  Unceasing pain.  Ever since your lover Black left, something to
Floyd | do with a mysterious stranger and a time machine, your days have been
Floyd | a dull blur of gray loneliness.  Perhaps you'd feel better if you got
Floyd | out and did something.
Floyd |
Floyd | Sins Against Mimesis
Floyd | An Interactive Theosophy
Floyd | Copyright 1997 by One of The Bruces (bruce@ifcompetition.org)
Floyd | Release 1 / Serial number 970925 / Inform v6.14 Library 6/7
Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd | This is the living room of your rather squalid apartment. The huge
Floyd | compass rose on your floor reminds you that your bedroom is west, the
Floyd | front hall is north, the kitchen is east, and the bathroom is south.
Floyd |
Floyd | Your mimesis plant squats in its pot in a corner of the room, slowly
Floyd | photosynthesizing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "y"
Floyd | That was a rhetorical question.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "tame"
Floyd | There is no tame mode in this game!  How would we ever sell Fox the
Floyd | rights to it?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "Go lewdly forward, m'cap'm."
Bert says (to Floyd), "racy"
Floyd | Racy mode on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "lewd"
Floyd | Lewd mode on.  No age checks, no verification.  Just raw,
Floyd | unadulterated lewdness.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "kiss plant"
Floyd |
Floyd | There is a sharp crackling and a sudden smell of ozone, as something
Floyd | appears in your hand.
Floyd | You plant a kiss on the mimesis.  Your kiss deepens.  Your embrace
Floyd | becomes hot and heavy and you surrender to the delights of floral sex.
Floyd | In the words of Stiffy Makane, Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhh!
Floyd |
Floyd | [Your score has just gone up by one point.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "oh dear"
Bert says (to Floyd), "fuck plant"
Floyd | You plant a kiss on the mimesis.  Your kiss deepens.  Your embrace
Floyd | becomes hot and heavy and you surrender to the delights of floral sex.
Floyd | In the words of Stiffy Makane, Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhh!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Yup."
Bert says, "We've pollinated."
Bert says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Front Hall
Floyd | This is the front hall; a door north leads outside, and the living
Floyd | room is to the south.
Floyd |
Floyd | A devil, looking for all the world like a cross between the BSD Unix
Floyd | devil and Bill Gates, slouches insolently in the corner.
Floyd |
Floyd | The door is closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "ask devil about devil"
Floyd | "Bob's the name!  Interactive fiction's the game!  Well, actually, the
Floyd | meta-game, I guess, because 'the game' properly ought to refer to an
Floyd | actual title, such as Jigsaw or something.  Say, <snort>, can I go out
Floyd | with your sister?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | Front Hall
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "ask devil about bob"
Floyd | "How did you know my <snort> name?  Did you use DejaNews?"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Man."
ParserGirl says, "Back!"
Bert says, "DejaNews."
DavidW says, "I vaguely remember DejaNews."
Bert says, "For the Internet youngsters in the audience: they're the ones that Google bought the whole online-Usenet-archive thing from."
DavidW says, "Before Google ate the planet."
Jacqueline says, "heehee"
Taleslinger says, "I think I#ve heard of them before </lame joke>"
Jacqueline shakes her head.
Bert says (to Floyd), "s.e"
Floyd |
Floyd | Living Room
Floyd |
Floyd | Your mimesis plant squats in its pot in a corner of the room, slowly
Floyd | photosynthesizing.
Floyd |
Floyd | Kitchen
Floyd | This is your kitchen: walls papered in a yellow floral design,
Floyd | counter, cabinet, stove, table, chairs, fridge, microwave, and so on.
Floyd | The living room is west.
Floyd |
Floyd | On the counter is a juice glass (which is empty).
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "Oh dear."
Bert says (to Floyd), "open drawer" Ellison says, "there should be a SpeedIF with the intent to write a game that will seem as dated as possible in 13 years"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x fork"
Floyd | Your basic four-tined dinner fork.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert asks, "...?"
Bert says (to Floyd), "x counter"
Floyd | This is a standard stained and scarred formica counter.  It's white,
Floyd | where it isn't stained.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x sink"
Floyd | This is a standard issue kitchen sink.  Rather than actually
Floyd | implementing a faucet and two knobs, let's just say that you can fill
Floyd | containers from it when you want to.  It is an unlimited source of the
Floyd | finest tap water.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "THere is a fork. Somewhere."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "look in sink"
Floyd | In the kitchen sink is a fork.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says (to Ellison), "heehee"
Bert says, "Aha."
Bert says (to Floyd), "open microwave. put fork in it."
Floyd | You open the microwave.
Floyd | You need to be holding the fork before you can put it into something
Floyd | else.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl asks, "I did laundry and missed quite a bit. Are we replaying?"
Bert says (to Floyd), "get fork. put it in microwave."
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd | You put the fork into the microwave.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "yes"
Bert says, "Yeah, we're checking stuff from AMUSING"
Bert says (to Floyd), "press button"
Floyd | The microwave beeps petulantly.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "close microwave. press button"
Floyd | You close the microwave.
Floyd | Oooh!  Look at all the pretty, pretty sparks!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x microwave"
Floyd | Just your basic tiny microwave oven.  It has a big red button labelled
Floyd | "Zap" on the front.  It is currently closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "open it"
Floyd | You open the microwave, revealing a fork.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x fork"
Floyd | Your basic four-tined dinner fork.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Huh, that was surprisingly non-lethal."
Jacqueline asks, "That was it? Sparks?"
Bert says (to Floyd), "open fridge. get food"
Floyd | You open the refrigerator, revealing some Chinese food.
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "I wanted an explosion, fire, and death message."
Bert says (to Floyd), "put food in microwave. get fork. close microwave. press button"
Floyd | There is no more room in the microwave.
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd | You close the microwave.
Floyd | The microwave hums briefly.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Yeah, me too."
DavidW says, "We never ate the food either."
Bert says (to Floyd), "smell"
Floyd | You smell nothing unexpected.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "open microwave. get food. eat it with fork"
Floyd | You open the microwave.
Floyd | You already have that.
Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to eat the Chinese food.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "put food in microwave"
Floyd | You put the Chinese food into the microwave.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Apparently, out microwave is not large enough to simultaneously contain a fork and a container of leftovers."
Jacqueline asks, "Didn't we try to eat the food earlier and it said we shouldn't do it with our bare hands?"
Bert says (to Floyd), "close microwave. press button"
Floyd | You close the microwave.
Floyd | The tantalizing aroma of hot Chinese food assails your nostrils.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "But now we have fork!"
Bert says (to Floyd), "open microwave. get food. eat it"
Floyd | You open the microwave, revealing some Chinese food.
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd | It's actually pretty tasty.  So tasty, in fact, that you eat the
Floyd | carton too in your enthusiasm.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   a fork
Floyd |   a diskette case
Floyd |     "The Incredibly Erotic Adventures of Stiffy Makane"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "restore"
Bert says (to Floyd), "cf1"
Floyd | Enter saved game to load: Ok.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "kiss kunkel"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Kitchen
Floyd | This is your kitchen: walls papered in a yellow floral design,
Floyd | counter, cabinet, stove, table, chairs, fridge, microwave, and so on.
Floyd | The living room is west.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "restore"
Bert says (to Floyd), "cf2"
Floyd | Enter saved game to load: Ok.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrapple Factory
Floyd | Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory.  The floor would have
Floyd | been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood
Floyd | and industrial chemicals.  However, those times are long gone.  The
Floyd | conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction
Floyd | vat has long since rusted into immobility.  There are no doors or
Floyd | windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense
Floyd | empty space.  The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat
Floyd | is south.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "n. kiss kunkel"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled
Floyd | into a home, of sorts.  It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete
Floyd | with multimedia PC.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see the Kunkel here.
Floyd | Ugh.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel yelps.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert asks, "'Ugh'?"
Alex says (to Bert), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that UGH is U Got Herpes."
Bert says, "I guess the standards for AMUSING must have been lower in those days."
Bert says (to Floyd), "s.s."
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrapple Factory
Floyd | Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory.  The floor would have
Floyd | been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood
Floyd | and industrial chemicals.  However, those times are long gone.  The
Floyd | conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction
Floyd | vat has long since rusted into immobility.  There are no doors or
Floyd | windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense
Floyd | empty space.  The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat
Floyd | is south.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer.
Floyd |
Floyd | The Vat
Floyd | You are inside the rendering vat of the abandoned scrapple factory.
Floyd | Even now it reeks of despair and waste-meat food products.
Floyd |
Floyd | Great Scott!  What can only be the rucksack of the Meldrews, fabled in
Floyd | song and story, lies here at the bottom of the rendering vat.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "awwwww"
Bert says (to Floyd), "eat rucksack"
Floyd | (first taking the rucksack)
Floyd | You're carrying too many things already.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "put all in sack"
Floyd | "Sinful Delights and More: Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD
Floyd | Edition": Done.
Floyd | variegated mimesis plant: Done.
Floyd | Chinese food: Done.
Floyd | toy: Done.
Floyd | red cardboard box: Done.
Floyd | juice glass: Done.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "eat rucksack"
Floyd | (first taking the rucksack)
Floyd | That's plainly inedible.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "taste it"
Floyd | The stench in here is enough to make far stronger people than you
Floyd | retch.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "smell it"
Floyd | The stench in here is enough to make far stronger people than you
Floyd | retch.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrapple Factory
Floyd | Once upon a time, this was a scrapple factory.  The floor would have
Floyd | been covered in piles of barely-identifiable pig parts, awash in blood
Floyd | and industrial chemicals.  However, those times are long gone.  The
Floyd | conveyor belt that used to connect the Scrappelizer to the reduction
Floyd | vat has long since rusted into immobility.  There are no doors or
Floyd | windows; light comes from a bare light bulb hanging in the immense
Floyd | empty space.  The rusted Scrappelizer squats to the north, and the vat
Floyd | is south.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the innards of the Scrappelizer.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "smell rucksack"
Floyd | The sack smells revoltingly of pork byproducts.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "taste it"
Floyd | Something like pork rinds, only really disgusting.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "heehee"
Bert says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled
Floyd | into a home, of sorts.  It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete
Floyd | with multimedia PC.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see the Kunkel here.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel flinches and swears.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "smell kunkel"
Floyd | The Kunkel smells of sweat, adrenaline, and poor hygiene.  Add that to
Floyd | the stench of the Scrappelizer...
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel flinches and swears.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "taste kunkel"
Floyd | No.
Floyd |
Floyd | The kunkel yelps.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "Okay, I was amused by the pork rinds comment, fwiw."
Bert says (to Floyd), "restore"
Bert says (to Floyd), "cf3"
Floyd | Enter saved game to load: Ok.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled
Floyd | into a home, of sorts.  It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete
Floyd | with multimedia PC.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see the Kunkel here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "restore"
Bert says (to Floyd), "cf4"
Floyd | Enter saved game to load: Ok.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Scrappelizer
Floyd | Horrifyingly, the interior of the Scrappelizer has been remodelled
Floyd | into a home, of sorts.  It is, in fact, the lair of a Kunkel, complete
Floyd | with multimedia PC.
Floyd |
Floyd | A rectangular hole allows access to the factory.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can also see the Kunkel and a pair of VR goggles here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "wear goggles"
Floyd | (first taking the VR goggles)
Floyd |
Floyd | Wow!  Virtual reality really does work!  With a sensation of great
Floyd | speed, you are transported to....
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | The attics, full of low beams and awkward angles, begin here in a
Floyd | relatively tidy area which extends north, south and east. The wooden
Floyd | floorboards seem fairly sound, just as well considering how heavy all
Floyd | these teachests are. But the old wiring went years ago, and there's no
Floyd | electric light.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "get map"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | The bedroom is a mess.
Floyd | It is a small bedroom with a faded carpet and old wallpaper. There is
Floyd | a washbasin, a chair with a tatty dressing gown slung over it, and a
Floyd | window with the curtains drawn. Near the exit leading south is a
Floyd | phone.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | A tide of perambulators surges north along the crowded Broad Walk.
Floyd | Shaded glades stretch away to the northeast, and a hint of color marks
Floyd | the western edge of the Flower Walk.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a
Floyd | boarded front door.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | This is a featureless corridor similar to every other corridor on the
Floyd | ship. It curves away to starboard, and a gangway leads up. To port is
Floyd | the entrance to one of the ship's primary escape pods. The pod
Floyd | bulkhead is closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | You stand at a point of decision on a road which makes a wide fork to
Floyd | the northeast and southeast, circling the base of the Lonely Mountain,
Floyd | which looms high overhead to the east. A very long and winding road
Floyd | starts here and stretches out of sight to the west through low, smoky
Floyd | hills.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | A tide of perambulators surges north along the crowded Broad Walk.
Floyd | Shaded glades stretch away to the northeast, and a hint of color marks
Floyd | the western edge of the Flower Walk.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | You are standing at the end of a road before a small brick building.
Floyd | Around you is a forest. A small stream flows out of the building and
Floyd | down a gully.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "C'mon, attick..."
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | You stand at a point of decision on a road which makes a wide fork to
Floyd | the northeast and southeast, circling the base of the Lonely Mountain,
Floyd | which looms high overhead to the east. A very long and winding road
Floyd | starts here and stretches out of sight to the west through low, smoky
Floyd | hills.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Taleslinger asks, "Lonely mountain? Which game is that?"
Bert says, "Er, attic."
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a
Floyd | boarded front door.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Enchanter."
DavidW says, "yeah"
Bert says, "I think. At least, the geography layout is right."
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Taleslinger says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | The bedroom is a mess.
Floyd | It is a small bedroom with a faded carpet and old wallpaper. There is
Floyd | a washbasin, a chair with a tatty dressing gown slung over it, and a
Floyd | window with the curtains drawn. Near the exit leading south is a
Floyd | phone.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | This is a featureless corridor similar to every other corridor on the
Floyd | ship. It curves away to starboard, and a gangway leads up. To port is
Floyd | the entrance to one of the ship's primary escape pods. The pod
Floyd | bulkhead is closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a
Floyd | boarded front door.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | This is a featureless corridor similar to every other corridor on the
Floyd | ship. It curves away to starboard, and a gangway leads up. To port is
Floyd | the entrance to one of the ship's primary escape pods. The pod
Floyd | bulkhead is closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert asks, "Does the attic only appear when you first arrive?"
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a
Floyd | boarded front door.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a
Floyd | boarded front door.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | An undistinguished bar, yet the social center of Upper Sandusky. The
Floyd | front door is almost lost amidst the hazy maze of neon that shrouds
Floyd | the grimy glass of the south wall. Doors marked "Ladies" and "Gents"
Floyd | lead, respectively, northeast and northwest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd |
Floyd | Text World
Floyd | The attics, full of low beams and awkward angles, begin here in a
Floyd | relatively tidy area which extends north, south and east. The wooden
Floyd | floorboards seem fairly sound, just as well considering how heavy all
Floyd | these teachests are. But the old wiring went years ago, and there's no
Floyd | electric light.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "drop map"
Floyd | Well now, you just did an end run around the whole idea of the Curse
Floyd | Of The Meldrews, didn't you?  Your impulsive action has destroyed the
Floyd | entire fabric of the multiverse, and you along with it.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** You have died ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored -999 out of a possible 10, in 243 turns,
Floyd | earning you the rank of Destroyer of the Multiverse and Cosmic
Floyd | Butthead.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score
Floyd | for that game or QUIT?
Floyd | >
Bert says, "-999"
Taleslinger says, "Hee"
Bert says (to Floyd), "restore"
Bert says (to Floyd), "cf5"
Floyd | Enter saved game to load: Restore failed.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score
Floyd | for that game or QUIT?
Floyd | >
Ellison says, "funny stuff. anyways, I'm off!"
Ellison goes back to Squeamhurst..
Bert says (to Floyd), "restore"
Bert says (to Floyd), "cf4"
Floyd | Enter saved game to load: Ok.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "open computer. get masterpieces"
Floyd | You open the computer, revealing "Sinful Delights and More:
Floyd | Masterpieces of Interactive Fiction, CD Edition".
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "put stiffy in computer. wear goggles"
Floyd | You put a CD labelled "Stiffy Makane, Space Marine" into the computer.
Floyd | (first taking the VR goggles)
Floyd | You put the goggles on, but they show nothing, so you remove them.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "close computer. wear goggles"
Floyd | You close the computer.
Floyd |
Floyd | Wow!  Virtual reality really does work!  With a sensation of great
Floyd | speed, you are transported to....
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Ganymede Base Corridor XQJ-913
Floyd | A dull metal corridor, lit by flickering lights.  The corridor
Floyd | continues west and ends in a pink door to the northeast with a pink
Floyd | keyhole.  Painted in drippy blood on the wall are the word Shangri-La
Floyd | and an arrow pointing west.
Floyd |
Floyd | The pink door bars passage to the northeast.
Floyd |
Floyd | You hear a sinister giggling from the west somewhere.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "unlock door. ne"
Floyd | I didn't understand that sentence.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "attack black"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "ne"
Floyd | You can't, since the pink door is in the way.
Floyd |
Floyd | A fearsome "HONK, HONK!" echoes from the western corridor.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "unlock door"
Floyd | What do you want to unlock the pink door with?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "key"
Floyd | You insert the key into the keyhole.  It throbs and vanishes.  The
Floyd | door opens, like a flower blooming.
Floyd |
Floyd | Loud, sensual moans are coming from the west and approaching rapidly.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "ne"
Floyd |
Floyd | Ganymede Base Room J-14-B-3.2
Floyd | This is a tiny room full of evil-looking machines and flashing lights.
Floyd | The only exit is southwest.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can see Black here.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Pwoik, pwoik, pwoik" resounds from the west, quite nearby.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "attack black"
Floyd | You beast!  Fortunately, (at least for karmic justice) before you can
Floyd | attack, there comes a noise from the doorway.
Floyd |
Floyd | A patrol of maurauding ultravixens has entered the area.  Your big gun
Floyd | is no match for their power.  Swiftly they crush you to death between
Floyd | their thighs.
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** You have died ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 9 out of a possible 10, in 233 turns, earning
Floyd | you the rank of Vanquisher of the Kunkel.
Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score
Floyd | for that game or QUIT?
Floyd | >
Bert says, "There, I think that's everything."
Bert says (to Floyd), "quit"
Floyd |
Floyd asks, "That game over already? It was just getting good. Wanna play another?"



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