ClubFloyd Transcript:
Toonesia by Jacob Weinstein
Tale of the Kissing Bandit by J. Robinson Wheeler

As played on ifMUD on August 3, 2008

The idea behind ClubFloyd is that each week at a pre-arranged time, a group of people meet online to cooperatively play a game of interactive fiction.

Below is a transcript of Toonesia, written by Jacob Weinstein, followed by Tale of the Kissing Bandit by J. Robinson Wheeler. Toonesia was originally released as part of the 1995 IF Competition, where it took second place; you can learn more about the game, including how to download it, by visiting Baf's Guide. Tale of the Kissing Bandit was originally released as part of Smoochie Comp; it was nominated for--and ultimately won--the 2001 Xyzzy for Best Individual PC; you can learn more about the game, including how to download it, by visiting Baf's Guide.

If you'd like to skip to a particular game in the transcript, you can click on the individual title:

Toonesia
by Jacob Weinstein

Tale of the Kissing Bandit
by J. Robinson Wheeler

WARNING! Below you will find a transcript of people playing this game, and it goes without saying that the transcript is full of spoilers. So, if you've never played this game, and think you might like to at some point, I do not recommend reading any further. Instead, you might want to return to the interactive fiction page.


ToyShop & Floyditorium
#ClubFloyd Discussion
 
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "load toonesia"
Floyd | Welcome to the Cheap Glk Implementation, library version 0.9.0.
Floyd |
Floyd | tadsr - A text-only TADS 2.5.10 Interpreter.
Floyd | Copyright (c) 1993, 2006 by Michael J. Roberts.

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Toonesia
Floyd | A Mini Text-Adventure Game
Floyd | by Jacob Weinstein
Floyd | Developed with TADS:  The Text Adventure Development System.

Floyd |
Floyd | Version 1.1
Floyd | Copyright (c) 1995 by the author.  All Rights Reserved.
Floyd | This game was entered in the First Annual TADS programming contest in
Floyd | 1995.  It won second place.  For more information on the contest, look
Floyd | at ftp.gmd.de in the directory /if-archive.

Floyd |
Floyd | Toonesia is freeware.  For information on the legal details of
Floyd | distributing it, please type "legal" at any command prompt.
Floyd |
Floyd | This game uses David Allen's hint system, which is (c) 1994 by David
Floyd | Allen.

Floyd |
Floyd | Thanks to my beta-testers Lauren Sager, Mike Sager, and Michael Kinyon,
Floyd | and to Whizzard for some last-minute lifesaving and the occasional pun.
Floyd |
Floyd | Although this game is free, I would appreciate a postcard if you
Floyd | particularly enjoy it--or, at least, an e-mail note.  My e-mail address

Floyd | is jacobw@cap.gwu.edu.  My postal address is:
Floyd | Jacob Weinstein
Floyd | 10980 Wellworth Ave, Apt 306
Floyd | Los Angeles, CA 90024
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd | **********************************************************
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Oooh, that rascally rabbit!  You were out hunting him when he somehow
Floyd | got the jump on you, blindfolded you, and dumped you into a cell.
Floyd | Well, you'll show him.  He'll be hasenpfefer by dinner tonight, or your

Floyd | name isn't Elmo Fuld.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Bare Cell
Floyd |    You are in an utterly bare room.  The walls are completely
Floyd | featureless, and there seems to be no way out.  Drat that rabbit!

Floyd |    You see a purple crayon, a blindfold, and a note here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "hekki"
Jacqueline says (to Catena), "Patience, yes."
smartgenes says, "ah i am here"
smartgenes says, "hello all"
smartgenes says, "hello all"
Jacqueline says, "Hello, sg - welcome to ClubFloyd."
smartgenes says, "thanx jacqueline"
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "x crayon"
Floyd | It's a short stub of purple crayon.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "x blindfold"
Floyd | It's a simple cloth blindfold.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "x note"
Floyd | It's a note, scrawled in crayon in a rabbity hand.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "I haven't played much of Toonesia. I figured out at least one puzzle that I remember though."
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "read note"
Floyd | Dear Elmo,
Floyd |    Sorry I've had to lock you up like this, but I'm off to the Fifth
Floyd | Annual Festival of Carrots, and I can't have you chasing after me with
Floyd | a gun.  There's no way out of here, so you won't be getting back to

Floyd | your mansion and your yacht anytime soon.  But just in case you escape,
Floyd | I've placed your gun in a place you'll never get to.
Floyd |    Ain't I a stinker?
Floyd |
Floyd | Sincerely yours truly,
Floyd | Bud Bunny

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena asks, "draw a door?"
Jacqueline says, "Go for it."
Jacqueline says, "I'd actually prefer to not drive this morning, fwiw."
smartgenes arrives, full of funk, but no fun.
DavidW arrives, full of fun, but no funk.
Catena says (to Floyd), "draw door"
Floyd | What do you want to draw it on?
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Catena says (to Floyd), "draw door on wall"
Floyd | You don't have anything to draw with.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says, "did we start? I wasn't in the room!"
Jacqueline says, "We did."
smartgenes exclaims, "nor was i!"
DavidW says, "drat"
Jacqueline says, "We're not far in."
smartgenes says, "who are we and what are we doing"
ParserGirl arrives, ready to play with the toys. DavidW cries bitter bitter tears
Catena says (to Floyd), "get crayon"
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says, "kabang"
Jacqueline asks (of Catena), "Can we restart, for these guys?"
Jacqueline asks, "Since we're not very far in?"
Catena exclaims, "sure!"
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "quit"
Floyd | In a total of 6 turns, you have achieved a score of 0 points out of a
Floyd | possible 10.

Floyd | This makes you A Family Circus Panel.
Floyd |
Floyd | Do you really want to quit?  (YES or NO) >
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "y"
Floyd |

Floyd asks, "That game over already? It was just getting good. Wanna play another?"
Jacqueline says (to Floyd), "load toonesia"
Floyd | Welcome to the Cheap Glk Implementation, library version 0.9.0.
Floyd |
Floyd | tadsr - A text-only TADS 2.5.10 Interpreter.

Floyd | Copyright (c) 1993, 2006 by Michael J. Roberts.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Toonesia
Floyd | A Mini Text-Adventure Game
Floyd | by Jacob Weinstein

Floyd | Developed with TADS:  The Text Adventure Development System.
Floyd |
Floyd | Version 1.1
Floyd | Copyright (c) 1995 by the author.  All Rights Reserved.
Floyd | This game was entered in the First Annual TADS programming contest in
Floyd | 1995.  It won second place.  For more information on the contest, look

Floyd | at ftp.gmd.de in the directory /if-archive.
Floyd |
Floyd | Toonesia is freeware.  For information on the legal details of
Floyd | distributing it, please type "legal" at any command prompt.
Floyd |
Floyd | This game uses David Allen's hint system, which is (c) 1994 by David

Floyd | Allen.
Floyd |
Floyd | Thanks to my beta-testers Lauren Sager, Mike Sager, and Michael Kinyon,
Floyd | and to Whizzard for some last-minute lifesaving and the occasional pun.
Floyd |
Floyd | Although this game is free, I would appreciate a postcard if you

Floyd | particularly enjoy it--or, at least, an e-mail note.  My e-mail address
Floyd | is jacobw@cap.gwu.edu.  My postal address is:
Floyd | Jacob Weinstein
Floyd | 10980 Wellworth Ave, Apt 306
Floyd | Los Angeles, CA 90024
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | **********************************************************
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Oooh, that rascally rabbit!  You were out hunting him when he somehow
Floyd | got the jump on you, blindfolded you, and dumped you into a cell.

Floyd | Well, you'll show him.  He'll be hasenpfefer by dinner tonight, or your
Floyd | name isn't Elmo Fuld.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Bare Cell
Floyd |    You are in an utterly bare room.  The walls are completely

Floyd | featureless, and there seems to be no way out.  Drat that rabbit!
Floyd |    You see a purple crayon, a blindfold, and a note here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "yay score ranks. Miss them so much."
ParserGirl says, "I may disappear after an hour."
smartgenes asks, "whats the grammar for typing inputs to Floyd?"
Catena says, "f command"
Jacqueline says, "And I am going to go make some orange juice, so have fun. Back in a few..."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "read note"
Floyd | Dear Elmo,
Floyd |    Sorry I've had to lock you up like this, but I'm off to the Fifth
Floyd | Annual Festival of Carrots, and I can't have you chasing after me with
Floyd | a gun.  There's no way out of here, so you won't be getting back to
Floyd | your mansion and your yacht anytime soon.  But just in case you escape,

Floyd | I've placed your gun in a place you'll never get to.
Floyd |    Ain't I a stinker?
Floyd |
Floyd | Sincerely yours truly,
Floyd | Bud Bunny
Floyd |

Floyd | >
ParserGirl says, "Hasenpfefer sounds like a German cookie."
Catena says, "rabbit stew"
ParserGirl says, "Oh."
Cathy says (to Floyd), "draw door on wall with crayon"
Floyd | There are words after your command that I couldn't use.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "take all"
Floyd | purple crayon:  Taken.
Floyd | blindfold:  Taken.
Floyd | note:  Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

ParserGirl says, "I figured it was just poorly pronounced."
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You have a hunting cap (being worn), a purple crayon, a blindfold, and
Floyd | a note.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "f command x blindfold"
Cathy says (to Floyd), "draw door with crayon"
Floyd | I don't recognize that sentence.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Catena says, "you can omit command, and don't put ; or the channel name before it"
Cathy says (to Floyd), "draw door on wall"
Floyd | Since all the walls look alike, you pick one at random and draw a
Floyd | bright purple door on it.  Chuck Jones you're not, but it'll do.

Floyd | Unfortunately, in the process, you wear the crayon down to nothing.
Floyd |
Floyd | * * * Your score just increased by 1 point.  * * *
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Cathy says (to Floyd), "x door"
Floyd | It's closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
ParserGirl says, "Heh, yay"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "open door"
Floyd | Opened.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes asks, "how did you work that out?"
Catena says, "I hope we drew a handle"
DavidW says, "it opened."
Cathy says, "if was Catena's idea"
Bert says (to Floyd), "x blindfold"
Floyd | It's a simple cloth blindfold.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "lots of cartoon watching"
DavidW says (to smartgenes), "You've seen cartoons, I hope."
Bert says (to Floyd), "x me"
Floyd | You look about the same as always.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You have a hunting cap (being worn), a blindfold, and a note.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x cap"
Floyd | It's your trusty hunting cap.  You haven't removed it since you first
Floyd | received it as a gift from your Uncle Chuck in 1935--not even to
Floyd | shower.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x cap"
Floyd | It's your trusty hunting cap.  You haven't removed it since you first
Floyd | received it as a gift from your Uncle Chuck in 1935--not even to
Floyd | shower.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes asks, "lol i guess not.. oh what is the name of gam?"
Cathy says (to Floyd), "exit"
Floyd | The Middle of the Woods

Floyd |    You are in a thick patch of towering redwoods.  A path leads west,
Floyd | where the trees grow sparser, and south.  Looming over you to the north
Floyd | is the tower in whose base you were so recently imprisoned.  From the
Floyd | outside, you can see that the tower looks like a humungous carrot.
Floyd |
Floyd | Oooooooh, you're going to get that rabbit.

Floyd |    You see a wooden sign here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "toon something"
Catena says, "that awesome episode with daffy and bugs as the animator"
DavidW says, "Toonesia"
smartgenes says, "i c"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "read sign"
Floyd | It looks like this wooden sign originally said "Duck Season," but
Floyd | somebody crossed off the word "Duck" and wrote "Rabbit."  Then somebody

Floyd | else crossed off the word "Rabbit" and wrote "Duck."  In fact, the
Floyd | words "Duck" and "Rabbit" must have been written and crossed off a
Floyd | dozen times each.  At the moment, the sign proclaims that it's duck
Floyd | season.  This accursed interference in the rights of honest hunters
Floyd | like yourself is signed "Bruce Babbit, Secretary of the Interior."
Floyd | Ooooh, that rascally Babbit!

Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pull sign"
Floyd | Pulling the wooden sign doesn't have any effect.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "dismantle sign"
Floyd | I don't know the word "dismantle".
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says, "just in case"
McMartin arrives, full of funk, but no fun.
DavidW says (to Floyd), "verbose"
Floyd | Okay, now in VERBOSE mode.
Floyd | The Middle of the Woods

Floyd |    You are in a thick patch of towering redwoods.  A path leads west,
Floyd | where the trees grow sparser, and south.  Looming over you to the north
Floyd | is the tower in whose base you were so recently imprisoned.  From the
Floyd | outside, you can see that the tower looks like a humungous carrot.
Floyd |
Floyd | Oooooooh, you're going to get that rabbit.

Floyd |    You see a wooden sign here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x trees"
Floyd | The trees look like trees, complete with branch-like branches and leafy

Floyd | leaves. Well, what did you expect?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "groan"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "eat carrot"
Floyd | The tower doesn't appear appetizing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
McMartin says (to Floyd), "read sign"
Floyd | It looks like this wooden sign originally said "Duck Season," but
Floyd | somebody crossed off the word "Duck" and wrote "Rabbit."  Then somebody
Floyd | else crossed off the word "Rabbit" and wrote "Duck."  In fact, the
Floyd | words "Duck" and "Rabbit" must have been written and crossed off a
Floyd | dozen times each.  At the moment, the sign proclaims that it's duck
Floyd | season.  This accursed interference in the rights of honest hunters

Floyd | like yourself is signed "Bruce Babbit, Secretary of the Interior."
Floyd | Ooooh, that rascally Babbit!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW asks, "west or south?"
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x me"
Floyd | You look about the same as always.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Cathy says, "w"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd | The Edge of the Woods
Floyd |    The trees here are sparser, and the thick moss that covers the
Floyd | ground seems to be fighting a losing battle with the desert that
Floyd | approaches from the north and the west.  Paths lead east and southeast

Floyd | back into the forest.
Floyd |    The Tazmanian Devil is here, glaring furiously (and hungrily) at you
Floyd | from within the bars of a metal cage.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Cathy says (to Floyd), "x taz"
Floyd | The Tazmanian Devil is a real animal, not a copyright of a certain
Floyd | large corporation with lots of legal muscle.  I can therefore mention
Floyd | it by name in this game.  Unfortunately, if I were to describe a
Floyd | real-life Tazmanian Devil, you'd only be disappointed--they don't look

Floyd | like much.  So, I won't describe the slavering beast before you.  And
Floyd | if you assume that it has a boxy body attached to short thin legs, two
Floyd | large maniacal eyes set above a wide, drooling, sharp-fanged mouth, and
Floyd | brown fur all over, then YOU'RE violating copyright, not me.  At any
Floyd | rate, the Tazmanian Devil is safely locked away within a sturdy metal
Floyd | cage.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes asks, "which character are we?"
ParserGirl says, "Elmer Fudd."
ParserGirl says, "Actually I had confused him with Yosemite Sam for a while."
DavidW says, "Elmo Fuld, here."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x cage"
Floyd | It's a sturdy metal cage.  Inside it, and trying desperately to get
Floyd | out, is a Tazmanian Devil.  Fortunately, it's closed.  Through the
Floyd | bars, you can see what looks like a thin metal pipe--the top of a

Floyd | chimney, perhaps--protruding through the ground.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x pipe"
Floyd | It looks like the top of a chimney.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look in pipe"
Floyd | There's nothing in the thin metal pipe.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Catena says, "eh, there's our gun. we need a female taz to distract him"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "push cage"
Floyd | Pushing the cage doesn't do anything.
Floyd |

Floyd | A low rumble emanates from the Tazmanian Devil's stomach.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "or some food"
DavidW says, "perhaps we need to feed Taz, yeah."
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "lock"
Floyd | What do you want to lock?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "let's go elsewhere"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "oops"
Floyd | I don't know the word "oops".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x lock"
Floyd | It's a sturdy metal cage.  Inside it, and trying desperately to get
Floyd | out, is a Tazmanian Devil.  Fortunately, it's closed.  Through the
Floyd | bars, you can see what looks like a thin metal pipe--the top of a
Floyd | chimney, perhaps--protruding through the ground.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Cathy asks (of DavidW), "I agree; se?"
smartgenes says, "si"
DavidW says, "sure, why not"
Cathy says (to Floyd), "se"
Floyd | In the Woods
Floyd |    You are standing deep within the woods.  A thick roof of leaves
Floyd | blocks most sunlight from entering, and a thick wall of treetrunks
Floyd | blocks you from exiting in most directions.  You can squeeze through to
Floyd | the north and the northwest, where the forest seems to grow less dense.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes asks, "nw?"
Alex says (to smartgenes), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that nw is an abbreviation of northwest."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x trees"
Floyd | The trees look like trees, complete with branch-like branches and leafy
Floyd | leaves. Well, what did you expect?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "that's back"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "climb trees"
Floyd | You are Elmo Fuld, millionaire.  You hire men to chop down trees and
Floyd | ship them to your processing plants.  You do not climb them.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "chop down trees"
Floyd | I don't know the word "chop".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "oh, I always though he was a hick"
DavidW says, "nothing here. Let's go back."
DavidW says (to Catena), "He was rich in one cartoon."
Catena says, "forgot that one"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x cap"
Floyd | It's your trusty hunting cap.  You haven't removed it since you first
Floyd | received it as a gift from your Uncle Chuck in 1935--not even to
Floyd | shower.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

McMartin says, "He's rich in a bunch of cartoons."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "nw"
Floyd | The Edge of the Woods
Floyd |    The trees here are sparser, and the thick moss that covers the
Floyd | ground seems to be fighting a losing battle with the desert that

Floyd | approaches from the north and the west.  Paths lead east and southeast
Floyd | back into the forest.
Floyd |    The Tazmanian Devil is here, glaring furiously (and hungrily) at you
Floyd | from within the bars of a metal cage.
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd | The Edge of A Cliff
Floyd |    You stand on the cornered edge of a cliff, above a
Floyd | brown-and-grey-painted canyon that stretches down far enough to create

Floyd | a sort of vertical horizon.  Pulling your eyes upward before the sight
Floyd | makes you topple over, you see a thin mesa jutting out of the depths of
Floyd | the canyon, a few hundred yards to your west. To your east is the edge
Floyd | of a forest that seems to be fighting a losing battle with the desert
Floyd | in which you stand.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
smartgenes asks, "haha jump canyon?"
Catena says, "save first"
DavidW says, "no, I know how this one works."
DavidW clears the save counter.
DavidW says (to Floyd), "SAVE"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "cf1"
Floyd | File to save game in >
Floyd | Saved.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW asks, "may I? Or shall I keep quiet?"
smartgenes says, "f worn"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "worn"
Floyd | I don't know the word "worn".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "If you already know how this puzzle works, it'd be nice to let the others have a go at it."
DavidW says, "I agree. I'll shut up."
Catena says, "maybe if we put on the blindfold we won't see that we should be falling"
Cathy says (to Floyd), "x canyon"
Floyd | The beautiful canyon stretches as far as you can see.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put blindfold on davidw"
Floyd | I don't know the word "davidw".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Cathy says (to Floyd), "x mesa"
Floyd | The thin mesa juts out of the canyon a few hundred yards to your west.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Cathy asks, "shall we just try going west? maybe after putting on the blindfold?"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "wear blindfold"
Floyd | Okay, you're now wearing the blindfold.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "jump canyon"
Floyd | You can't do anything with this blindfold on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Cathy says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd | You stagger blindly in that direction.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can't see anything with the blindfold on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "remove blindfold"
Floyd | You take off the blindfold, and look around...
Floyd |
Floyd | Hanging Poised in Midair
Floyd |    You are standing in the middle of the air.  There is nothing below

Floyd | your feet.
Floyd |
Floyd | Well, more precisely,there is nothing IMMEDIATELY below your feet.
Floyd | Several thousand yards below your feet happens to be a canyon floor.
Floyd | Fortunately, we don't need to be too precise about these things, since
Floyd | the ground is going to be immediately below your feet in just a few

Floyd | moments.  And shortly after that, you are going to be just below the
Floyd | ground.  Have a nice trip.
Floyd |
Floyd | Suddenly, it occurs to you that you are standing in mid-air with no
Floyd | means of support.  After plummetting downward for a full thirty
Floyd | seconds, you encounter the rough desert sand below.  After plummetting

Floyd | through the rough desert sand for a full half hour, you come to a
Floyd | complete stop.  Fortunately, as a 'toon, you can't be killed by the
Floyd | fall.  Unfortunately, your chin is relocated to within half an inch of
Floyd | your ankle, leaving you no room to hold your gun and making future
Floyd | hunting impossible.  Looks like that rascally rabbit has finally gotten
Floyd | rid of you for good.

Floyd |
Floyd | *** You are out of the picture ***
Floyd |
Floyd | In a total of 36 turns, you have achieved a score of 1 points out of a
Floyd | possible 10.
Floyd | This makes you Clutch Cargo.

Floyd |
Floyd | You may restore a saved game, start over, take back the last move, or
Floyd | quit.
Floyd | Please enter RESTORE, RESTART, UNDO, or QUIT:  >
Catena exclaims, "heee!!!"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | (Undoing one command)
Floyd |
Floyd | You can't see anything with the blindfold on.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "sorry all.. i had to know"
Catena says, "good on ya"
Cathy says, "I think we should try a 2nd w before removing blindfold"
smartgenes asks, "whats w?"
Cathy asks, "anyone mind if I try?"
Catena says, "west"
Catena says, "go to it"
Cathy says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd | You stagger blindly in that direction.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can't see anything with the blindfold on.
Floyd |
Floyd | Suddenly, it occurs to you that you are standing in mid-air with no
Floyd | means of support.  You plummet rapidly downward and land with a crash.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes asks, "is canyon to west?"
smartgenes says, "yes"
Catena says, "bummer"
Cathy says (to Floyd), "remove blindfold"
Floyd | You take off the blindfold, and look around...
Floyd |
Floyd | Atop a Narrow Mesa
Floyd |    You are standing atop a mesa so small that two steps in any

Floyd | direction would send you plummeting to an untimely end.  The cliff that
Floyd | surrounds the canyon approaches from infinity to the northwest and
Floyd | southwest, coming to a point a few hundred yards to your west.  From
Floyd | here, you can see another small ledge clinging to the side of the cliff
Floyd | about twenty yards below the point where the two cliff walls meet.
Floyd |    You see a gun here.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Cathy exclaims, "it worked!"
Catena says, "that's a little confusing"
ParserGirl says (to Floyd), "x gun"
Floyd | It's your trusty gun.  You've missed many a fine specimen with it.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena asks, "hm, I monder what the pipe is then?"
smartgenes says, "hmm yes"
Jacqueline has finished reading the scrollback.
Cathy says, "hey, we're a toon, we're invincible until we realize otherwise..."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "take gun"
Floyd |
Floyd | * * * Your score just increased by 1 point.  * * *

Floyd |
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "And Catena's right - that was confusing."
Bert says (to Floyd), "score"
Floyd | In a total of 39 turns, you have achieved a score of 2 points out of a
Floyd | possible 10.
Floyd | This makes you An Animation Cel.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says, "Perhaps it actually *is* a chimney."
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get gun"
Floyd | You already have your gun!
Floyd |

Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "my mud not scrolling so well"
Bert says (to Floyd), "fire gun"
Floyd | You fire your gun in the air with a satisfying KABOOM, sending a huge
Floyd | puff of smoke out of the barrel.  Being a toon gun, it immediately

Floyd | reloads itself.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x ledge"
Floyd | I don't know the word "ledge".

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "go infinite ammo without a cheat code"
inky arrives, full of funk, but no fun.
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "listen"
Floyd | What do you want to listen to?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "listen for bugs"
Floyd | I don't recognize that sentence.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says (to Floyd), "SAVE"
Catena says (to Floyd), "cf2"
Floyd | File to save game in >
Floyd | Saved.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put eye in gun"
Floyd | I don't see any eye here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says (to Floyd), "climb down to ledge"
Floyd | I don't know the word "ledge".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Cathy says (to Floyd), "d"
Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says (to Floyd), "climb down"
Floyd | I don't understand that sentence.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd | Atop a Narrow Mesa
Floyd |    You are standing atop a mesa so small that two steps in any

Floyd | direction would send you plummeting to an untimely end.  The cliff that
Floyd | surrounds the canyon approaches from infinity to the northwest and
Floyd | southwest, coming to a point a few hundred yards to your west.  From
Floyd | here, you can see another small ledge clinging to the side of the cliff
Floyd | about twenty yards below the point where the two cliff walls meet.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Cathy asks, "maybe west?"
Cathy says, "then possibly down"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look down"
Floyd | I don't understand that sentence.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "oooooh, the ledge is below the other cliff, from mhence we came"
smartgenes says, "the tasmanian devil moves by spiralling through things"
Cathy says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd | One look down is enough to prevent you from stepping off the cliff.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes asks, "like this rock maybe?"
Catena says, "we should probably re-blindfold and go east"
Cathy says, "yeah, seems like"
smartgenes asks, "arent exits nw and sw?"
Cathy says, ".. Catena go for it"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "to infinity and beyond"
Floyd | I don't know the word "infinity".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "a splortchy smoosh is in the canyon nw and sw"
Catena says (to Floyd), "wear blindfold"
Floyd | Okay, you're now wearing the blindfold.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "I think there's a typo in the description. The point would be to the east."
Jacqueline says, "Splortchy is a good word."
Catena says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd | You stagger blindly in that direction.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can't see anything with the blindfold on.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd | You stagger blindly in that direction.
Floyd |

Floyd | You can't see anything with the blindfold on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Cathy exclaims (at DavidW), "ah, of cource, that makes sense!"
Catena says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd | You stagger blindly in that direction.
Floyd |
Floyd | You can't see anything with the blindfold on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Catena says, "enough? that's three"
DavidW says, "So if the mesa is a hyphen, and the cliff is a line, the map is - >"
Alex says (to Catena), "Awwwk! Word on the street is that Enough is enough."
Cathy says (to Catena), "yes, I think so"
Catena says (to Floyd), "take off blindfold"
Floyd | You take off the blindfold, and look around...
Floyd |
Floyd | Inside Bud's Warren
Floyd |    You are in a comfortable and cozy rabbit warren, lit dimly by the

Floyd | light that filters in from the hole to your west.  There are a few
Floyd | scattered pieces of battered furniture here, including an overstuffed
Floyd | sofa and a large wooden wardrobe, as well as some pictures nailed into
Floyd | the dirt walls.  Against one wall is a kitchenette:  a stove, a
Floyd | refrigerator, and a table.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Cathy says, "so we must have fallen as we walked across the air"
Catena says, "overshot, I think"
DavidW says, "We're underneath the cage now."
Catena says, "aha"
Bert says, "You could go back west to figure it out, probably."
Catena says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd | Clinging to the Side of a Ledge
Floyd |    You are standing on a narrow ledge tucked into the corner of two

Floyd | cliff walls.  It's just wide enough to keep gravity's dirty paws off
Floyd | you.  To your west, several hundred yards away, you can see a narrow
Floyd | mesa.  A hole leads east, into the cliff face.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "indeed"
Catena says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd | Inside Bud's Warren
Floyd |    You are in a comfortable and cozy rabbit warren, lit dimly by the
Floyd | light that filters in from the hole to your west.  There are a few

Floyd | scattered pieces of battered furniture here, including an overstuffed
Floyd | sofa and a large wooden wardrobe, as well as some pictures nailed into
Floyd | the dirt walls.  Against one wall is a kitchenette:  a stove, a
Floyd | refrigerator, and a table.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Catena says (to Floyd), "furniture"
Floyd | There's no verb in that sentence!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x pictures"
Floyd | The pictures include a photo of Bud Bunny at a party with Chuck Jones,
Floyd | Fritz Freleng, Tex Avery, and Mel Blanc; a reproduction of the famous
Floyd | painting, "The Assumption of St.  Peter Rabbit;" and an autographed
Floyd | photo of Dick Cavett.  Seeing the last of these reminds you of the

Floyd | humiliation you suffered as a guest on his show; unbeknownst to you,
Floyd | the talk show host had arranged for your fellow guests to be the
Floyd | president of Handgun Control, Inc, and the vice-chairman of People for
Floyd | the Ethical Treatment of Animals.  Ooooh, that rascally Cavett!
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x fridge"
Floyd | The refrigerator is closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "open it"
Floyd | Opening the refrigerator reveals a lettuce sandwich and a steak.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "groan"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "take all from fridge"
Floyd | lettuce sandwich:  Taken.
Floyd | steak:  Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "open cupboard"
Floyd | I don't know the word "cupboard".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "close fridge"
Floyd | Closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x table"
Floyd | It's an unpretentious wooden table.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "look under table"
Floyd | There's nothing under the table.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x steak"
Floyd | It's a big, succulant, raw hunk of meat.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "steak probably enough for taz, unless he's a vegetarian"
McMartin says, "That reminds me, as I was late for the party"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x sandwich"
Floyd | It's a piece of lettuce between two slices of carrot bread.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
McMartin asks, "You've tried referring to the characters by their real names in-game, right?"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x stove"
Floyd | It's a simple stove, consisting of a metal surface and an on-off
Floyd | switch.  A metal chimney above the cooking surface helps get rid of
Floyd | cooking smells.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to McMartin), "no"
McMartin says (to Floyd), "x Elmer"
Floyd | I don't know the word "elmer".
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x chimney"
Floyd | It's a narrow metal chimney, meant to help remove cooking odors from
Floyd | the warren.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
McMartin says (to Floyd), "x Fudd"
Floyd | I don't know the word "fudd".
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes asks, "did we check that location with the wardrobe?"
McMartin says, "Huh. I could have sworn it freaked out when you tried this."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x wardrobe"
Floyd | Looking closely at the wardrobe, you see that it seems to have been
Floyd | carved out of a large treetrunk that has sunk deep into the walls of

Floyd | the warren.  Currently, the wardrobe is closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Ooh, I can guess what we do next..."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "open wardrobe"
Floyd | Opening the large wooden wardrobe reveals a Hawaiian shirt, a baseball
Floyd | cap, and a cologne bottle.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "oooh, cooking the steak would drive taz into a slavering spin"
Bert says (to Catena), "My thoughts exactly."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "look under wardrobe"
Floyd | There's nothing under the large wooden wardrobe.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says (to Floyd), "x shirt"
Floyd | This is a large, bright Hawaiian shirt.  Amongst the loud colors is a
Floyd | logo that says, "Hotel Wakalakamakakadasakikikaki."
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Catena says (to Floyd), "get all from wardrobe"
Floyd | Hawaiian shirt:  Taken.
Floyd | baseball cap:  Taken.
Floyd | cologne bottle:  Taken.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x cap"
Floyd | Which cap do you mean, the hunting cap, or the baseball cap?
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says (to Floyd), "baseball"
Floyd | It's a Brooklyn Dodgers cap.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "wear all"
Floyd | hunting cap:  You're already wearing the hunting cap!
Floyd | blindfold:  Okay, you're now wearing the blindfold.
Floyd | note:  You can't do anything with the blindfold on.
Floyd | your gun:  You can't do anything with the blindfold on.

Floyd | lettuce sandwich:  You can't do anything with the blindfold on.
Floyd | steak:  You can't do anything with the blindfold on.
Floyd | Hawaiian shirt:  You can't do anything with the blindfold on.
Floyd | baseball cap:  You can't do anything with the blindfold on.
Floyd | cologne bottle:  You can't do anything with the blindfold on.
Floyd | battered furniture:  You can't do anything with the blindfold on.

Floyd | kitchenette:  You can't do anything with the blindfold on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "lol sorry"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | (Undoing one command)
Floyd |
Floyd | Inside Bud's Warren
Floyd |    You are in a comfortable and cozy rabbit warren, lit dimly by the
Floyd | light that filters in from the hole to your west.  There are a few
Floyd | scattered pieces of battered furniture here, including an overstuffed

Floyd | sofa and a large wooden wardrobe, as well as some pictures nailed into
Floyd | the dirt walls.  Against one wall is a kitchenette:  a stove, a
Floyd | refrigerator, and a table.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x bottle"
Floyd | According to the label, the orange liquid inside is "Eau de Carrotte."
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "search wardrobe"
Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "enter wardrobe"
Floyd | I don't know how to enter the large wooden wardrobe.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "look under it"
Floyd | There's nothing under the large wooden wardrobe.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Cathy says (to Floyd), "x sofa"
Floyd | The sofa is covered with a garish carrot-patterned fabric.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x tree"
Floyd | I don't see any tree here.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x trunk"
Floyd | I don't see any trunk here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says (to Floyd), "search sofa"
Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look behind sofa"
Floyd | There's nothing behind the overstuffed sofa.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "the pipe is probably our exit"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "shoot sofa"
Floyd | But it isn't overstuffed sofa season!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd | Inside Bud's Warren
Floyd |    You are in a comfortable and cozy rabbit warren, lit dimly by the
Floyd | light that filters in from the hole to your west.  There are a few
Floyd | scattered pieces of battered furniture here, including an overstuffed
Floyd | sofa and a large wooden wardrobe, as well as some pictures nailed into

Floyd | the dirt walls.  Against one wall is a kitchenette:  a stove, a
Floyd | refrigerator, and a table.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Cathy says, "or the blindfold trick west"
DavidW says, "I didn't see a key here, though."
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "wear shirt"
Floyd | Okay, you're now wearing the Hawaiian shirt.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert asks, "A key?"
DavidW says, "maybe the gun 'unlocks' the cage."
Cathy says, "I don't think the cage was locked; just closed"
DavidW asks, "So, cook the steak to get Taz here, then we go up and out?"
smartgenes says, "we ahve 2 caps"
Cathy says (to DavidW), "works for me"
Catena says, "could be, DW"
DavidW says, "The baseball cap might be for someone else."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "cook steak"
Floyd | I don't know the word "cook".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Cathy says (to Floyd), "turn on stove"
Floyd | You turn on the stove, and it heats up instantly.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "fry steak"
Floyd | I don't know the word "fry".

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "taz will take it raw, perhaps"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "put steak on stove"
Floyd | The steak begins to sizzle as soon as it hits the metal surface of the

Floyd | stove.  Within moments, a delicious smell begins to fill the room.  As
Floyd | you watch the smell waves waft up through the metal chimney, you hear
Floyd | what sounds like a dentist's drill begin to whir above your head.
Floyd | Suddenly, a sizable chunk of the dirt ceiling collapses about you and a
Floyd | giant slobbering blur descends into the room.  When the blur stops
Floyd | whirling, you realize that it is the Tazmanian Devil.  It grabs the

Floyd | steak from the stovetop and begins wolfing it down.  You estimate that
Floyd | you have a couple of seconds before it finishes the steak and notices
Floyd | you.
Floyd |
Floyd | * * * Your score just increased by 1 point.  * * *
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "yes tasmanian wears a cap"
Bert says, "Perhaps a Duck Dodgers joke is in our future."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "u"
Floyd | The Tazmanian Devil is standing directly beneath the hole that he made
Floyd | when he came in.  There's no way you can go up without climbing on him,
Floyd | and something tells you he wouldn't like that.
Floyd |
Floyd | The Tazmanian Devil has eaten about half of the steak by now.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give cap to devil"
Floyd | The Tazmanian devil accepts the baseball cap, nearly biting your
Floyd | fingers off in the process.  In a moment, the baseball cap has vanished
Floyd | down its throat.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | (Undoing one command)
Floyd |

Floyd | Inside Bud's Warren
Floyd |    You are in a comfortable and cozy rabbit warren, lit dimly by the
Floyd | light that filters in from the hole to your west and the hole in the
Floyd | dirt ceiling above your head.  There are a few scattered pieces of
Floyd | battered furniture here, including an overstuffed sofa and a large
Floyd | wooden wardrobe, as well as some pictures nailed into the dirt walls.

Floyd | Against one wall is a kitchenette:  a stove, a refrigerator, and a
Floyd | table.
Floyd |    The Tazmanian Devil is here, eagerly devouring a hunk of meat.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says, "lol"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "enter pipe"
Floyd | I don't see any pipe here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says (to Floyd), "enter chimney"
Floyd | I don't know how to enter the metal chimney.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "go up chimney"
Floyd | I don't recognize that sentence.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "climb on something"
inky says, "I suppose you could just hide"
smartgenes says, "i thought it was a small pipe"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "climb chimney"
Floyd | I don't know how to climb the metal chimney.
Floyd |

Floyd | The Tazmanian Devil has eaten almost all the steak.  At any moment,
Floyd | he's going to finish it up and start looking for something else to eat.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | (Undoing one command)
Floyd |
Floyd | Inside Bud's Warren
Floyd |    You are in a comfortable and cozy rabbit warren, lit dimly by the
Floyd | light that filters in from the hole to your west and the hole in the
Floyd | dirt ceiling above your head.  There are a few scattered pieces of

Floyd | battered furniture here, including an overstuffed sofa and a large
Floyd | wooden wardrobe, as well as some pictures nailed into the dirt walls.
Floyd | Against one wall is a kitchenette:  a stove, a refrigerator, and a
Floyd | table.
Floyd |    The Tazmanian Devil is here, eagerly devouring a hunk of meat.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says, "oh, I bet you put the cologne on"
Bert says, "Or go west."
inky says, "and he thinks you're a vegetable"
Bert asks, "WHat scent was the cologne?"
Catena says, "carrot"
DavidW says, "carrot"
smartgenes says, "for bugs bunny"
Cathy asks, "blindfold taz?"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "shout"
Floyd | Your throat is a bit sore now.
Floyd |
Floyd | The Tazmanian Devil has eaten almost all the steak.  At any moment,

Floyd | he's going to finish it up and start looking for something else to eat.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena asks, "push table under hole?"
DavidW says, "I never thought of veg disguise. weird"
Bert says (to Floyd), "wear cologne"
Floyd | You splash some cologne on yourself.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "I think taz eats everything though"
smartgenes says, "have we got a rope to tie him too"
Bert asks, "Do we have anything else vegetable-y?"
Cathy says (to Catena), "sure, try it"
DavidW says, "The sandwich is veggie."
Bert says, "(Clothing, I mean.)"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You have a hunting cap (being worn), a blindfold, a note, a gun, a
Floyd | lettuce sandwich, a Hawaiian shirt (being worn), a baseball cap, and a
Floyd | cologne bottle.

Floyd |
Floyd | With a final slobbering gulp, the Tazmanian Devil swallows the last of
Floyd | the meat.  He lets out a belch and, for one brief moment, appears
Floyd | sated.  Then the moment passes, and his huge head swivels around, his
Floyd | hungry eyes coming to focus on you.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Cathy says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | (Undoing one command)
Floyd |
Floyd | Inside Bud's Warren

Floyd |    You are in a comfortable and cozy rabbit warren, lit dimly by the
Floyd | light that filters in from the hole to your west and the hole in the
Floyd | dirt ceiling above your head.  There are a few scattered pieces of
Floyd | battered furniture here, including an overstuffed sofa and a large
Floyd | wooden wardrobe, as well as some pictures nailed into the dirt walls.
Floyd | Against one wall is a kitchenette:  a stove, a refrigerator, and a

Floyd | table.
Floyd |    The Tazmanian Devil is here, eagerly devouring a hunk of meat.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "wear sandwich"
Floyd | You can't wear the lettuce sandwich.
Floyd |
Floyd | With a final slobbering gulp, the Tazmanian Devil swallows the last of
Floyd | the meat.  He lets out a belch and, for one brief moment, appears

Floyd | sated.  Then the moment passes, and his huge head swivels around, his
Floyd | hungry eyes coming to focus on you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | (Undoing one command)
Floyd |
Floyd | Inside Bud's Warren
Floyd |    You are in a comfortable and cozy rabbit warren, lit dimly by the
Floyd | light that filters in from the hole to your west and the hole in the
Floyd | dirt ceiling above your head.  There are a few scattered pieces of

Floyd | battered furniture here, including an overstuffed sofa and a large
Floyd | wooden wardrobe, as well as some pictures nailed into the dirt walls.
Floyd | Against one wall is a kitchenette:  a stove, a refrigerator, and a
Floyd | table.
Floyd |    The Tazmanian Devil is here, eagerly devouring a hunk of meat.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "I think this was as far as I got."
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "unravel shirt"
Floyd | I don't know the word "unravel".

Floyd |
Floyd | >
olethros says, "hehehe wear it"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | (Undoing one command)

Floyd |
Floyd | Inside Bud's Warren
Floyd |    You are in a comfortable and cozy rabbit warren, lit dimly by the
Floyd | light that filters in from the hole to your west and the hole in the
Floyd | dirt ceiling above your head.  There are a few scattered pieces of
Floyd | battered furniture here, including an overstuffed sofa and a large

Floyd | wooden wardrobe, as well as some pictures nailed into the dirt walls.
Floyd | Against one wall is a kitchenette:  a stove, a refrigerator, and a
Floyd | table.
Floyd |    The Tazmanian Devil is here, eagerly devouring a hunk of meat.
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says, "(Some day, someone must write a game which recognizes 'WEAR SANDWICH'.)"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pull nails"
Floyd | I don't know the word "nails".
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "push table"
Floyd | Pushing the table doesn't do anything.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pull table"
Floyd | Pulling the table doesn't have any effect.
Floyd |
Floyd | With a final slobbering gulp, the Tazmanian Devil swallows the last of
Floyd | the meat.  He lets out a belch and, for one brief moment, appears

Floyd | sated.  Then the moment passes, and his huge head swivels around, his
Floyd | hungry eyes coming to focus on you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Cathy says (to Floyd), "undo" olethros | What do you mean, the tuna sandwitch, or the big sandwitch board?
Floyd | (Undoing one command)
Floyd |
Floyd | Inside Bud's Warren
Floyd |    You are in a comfortable and cozy rabbit warren, lit dimly by the
Floyd | light that filters in from the hole to your west and the hole in the

Floyd | dirt ceiling above your head.  There are a few scattered pieces of
Floyd | battered furniture here, including an overstuffed sofa and a large
Floyd | wooden wardrobe, as well as some pictures nailed into the dirt walls.
Floyd | Against one wall is a kitchenette:  a stove, a refrigerator, and a
Floyd | table.
Floyd |    The Tazmanian Devil is here, eagerly devouring a hunk of meat.

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Now that we've worn the cologne, we could wait a couple of turns."
Bert says (to Floyd), "SAVE"
Bert says (to Floyd), "cf3"
Floyd | File to save game in >
Floyd | Saved.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says, "Maybe it's enough."
DavidW says, "try giving him the sandwich. If he hates vegetables, the sandwich will repulse him at bit."
smartgenes says, "feed him and then go on the rock"
Bert says (to Floyd), "give sandwich to taz"
Floyd | The Tazmanian Devil sniffs the sandwich, then growls menacingly at you.
Floyd | Evidently, it doesn't like vegetables.
Floyd |
Floyd | With a final slobbering gulp, the Tazmanian Devil swallows the last of
Floyd | the meat.  He lets out a belch and, for one brief moment, appears
Floyd | sated.  Then the moment passes, and his huge head swivels around, his

Floyd | hungry eyes coming to focus on you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW asks, "what rock?"
Bert says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd | Time passes...
Floyd |
Floyd | The Tazmanian Devil lunges for you and, with a few swift bites,
Floyd | swallows you.  As you stew helplessly in his stomach, you find yourself
Floyd | wishing that 'toons weren't quite so indestructable.
Floyd |

Floyd | *** You are out of the picture ***
Floyd |
Floyd | In a total of 86 turns, you have achieved a score of 3 points out of a
Floyd | possible 10.
Floyd | This makes you A Flip Book.
Floyd |

Floyd | You may restore a saved game, start over, take back the last move, or
Floyd | quit.
Floyd | Please enter RESTORE, RESTART, UNDO, or QUIT:  >
Bert says (to Floyd), "restore" smartgenes says, "n the middle of the air"
Floyd | File to restore >
Bert says (to Floyd), "cf3"
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "pour cologne on taz"
Floyd | That would be unwise.
Floyd |
Floyd | With a final slobbering gulp, the Tazmanian Devil swallows the last of
Floyd | the meat.  He lets out a belch and, for one brief moment, appears

Floyd | sated.  Then the moment passes, and his huge head swivels around, his
Floyd | hungry eyes coming to focus on you.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "wear cologne"
Floyd | You splash some cologne on yourself.
Floyd |
Floyd | The Tazmanian Devil lunges for you.  As he flies through the air toward
Floyd | you, he suddenly catches a whiff of your carrot cologne.  He stops in
Floyd | mid-air and hangs there for a moment, looking confused.  Then he
Floyd | crashes to the ground.  He gets up and lumbers over to you, sniffing

Floyd | you closely.  Evidently, he doesn't like what he smells, for he lets
Floyd | out an outraged bellow and then whirls out the hole in the ceiling,
Floyd | presumably in search of more meat.
Floyd |
Floyd | * * * Your score just increased by 1 point.  * * *
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says, "aha"
Bert asks, "DId someone UNDO it the last time we wore the cologne?"
smartgenes says, "that was too easy"
inky says, "maybe it has to be done on the right turn"
olethros says, "I think you have to .."
Cathy says (to Floyd), "u"
Floyd | You climb on the table and clamber through the hole.
Floyd |

Floyd | Inside a Cage
Floyd |    You are inside a sturdy metal cage.  A rough-hewn hole leads
Floyd | downward.  The trees surrounding the cage are sparse, and the thick
Floyd | moss that covers the ground seems to be fight a losing battle with the
Floyd | desert that approaches from the north and the west.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Cathy says (to Floyd), "open cage"
Floyd | You can't.  It seems to be locked.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "unlock cage"
Floyd | You unlock the cage door.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x cage"
Floyd | You are in a sturdy metal cage.  Currently, it's closed.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "open cage"
Floyd | You open the cage door.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x cage"
Floyd | You are in a sturdy metal cage.  Currently, it's open.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "shout "FREEDOM""
Floyd | I don't recognize that sentence.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Cathy says (to Floyd), "exit cage"
Floyd | I don't recognize that sentence.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "out"
Floyd | The Edge of the Woods
Floyd |    The trees here are sparser, and the thick moss that covers the

Floyd | ground seems to be fighting a losing battle with the desert that
Floyd | approaches from the north and the west.  Paths lead east and southeast
Floyd | back into the forest.  A large metal cage stands empty here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says, "hee hee"
Catena asks, "where's taz?"
DavidW says, "huh. We don't need a key, huh."
DavidW says, "Taz is gone."
Cathy says, "haven't tried N yet"
Bert says (to Catena), "Good question."
Bert says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd | Outside the Mine
Floyd |    You stand in the middle of a huge desert, north of a stand of
Floyd | struggling trees and west of a deep cave.  As you stand staring into

Floyd | the vast darkness that lies within the cavern, a strange smell on the
Floyd | wind makes your nose twitch.  You pause for a moment and recognize it.
Floyd | It's the smell of wealth.
Floyd |    Dizzy Duck is here, rubbing his hands with greedy glee.
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "i shall turn my map on"
Bert says (to Floyd), "give cap to duck"
Floyd | "No, thankth, my dear thir."
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Catena says (to Floyd), "x daffy"
Floyd | There is no "Daffy Duck" in this game--only "Dizzy Duck."  Are you
Floyd | trying to get me in trouble?
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "ask dizzy about cave"
Floyd | Dizzy doesn't seem to know much about that.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Cathy says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You have a hunting cap (being worn), a blindfold, a note, a gun, a
Floyd | lettuce sandwich, a Hawaiian shirt (being worn), a baseball cap, and a
Floyd | cologne bottle.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "ask dizzy about bud"
Floyd | Dizzy doesn't seem to know much about that.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Cathy says (to Floyd), "give baseball cap to duck"
Floyd | "No, thankth, my dear thir."
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "ask dizzy about duck season"
Floyd | I don't know the word "season".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x dizzy"
Floyd | Dizzy is a daffy-looking duck.  Currently, he's running his hands
Floyd | through a wheelbarrow full of jewels.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "smell"
Floyd | What do you want to smell?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x jewels"
Floyd | You don't have a chance to examine the vast array of glittering jewels
Floyd | because Dizzy throws himself across the wheelbarrow as soon as he sees
Floyd | you eyeing them. "Don't even think about it," he sputters.
Floyd |

Floyd | Dizzy lunches into an off-key rendition of "Hello, My Ragtime Gal."
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "wealth"
Floyd | There's no verb in that sentence!

Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "take jewels"
Floyd | As you reach for the jewels, Dizzy floors you with a right wing to the
Floyd | jaw that lays you out flat.  "Thorry, bub," he says, as little birdies

Floyd | momentarily fly around your head.  "Don't know what came over me."
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "ask dizzy about jewels"
Floyd | Dizzy doesn't seem to know much about that.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says (to Floyd), "ask dizzy about wealth"
Floyd | Dizzy doesn't seem to know much about that.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "ask dizzy about wheelbarrow"
Floyd | Dizzy doesn't seem to know much about that.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "ask dizzy about duck"
Floyd | Dizzy doesn't seem to know much about that.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "Dizzy doesn't seem to be a conversationalist."
Catena asks, "what would dizzy like?"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "say look behind you"
Floyd | I don't understand that sentence.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "shoot dizzy"
Floyd | As you raise the gun, Dizzy sticks his finger in the barrel.  "Thorry,
Floyd | Charlie, it'th rabbit theathon."  Embarrassed, you lower the gun.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "tell dizzy about sign"
Floyd | It doesn't look as though Dizzy Duck is interested.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Catena asks, "duck season?"
Bert says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says, "We need to fix the sign. Then shoot."
Catena exclaims, "yeah!"
Bert says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd | The Edge of the Woods
Floyd |    The trees here are sparser, and the thick moss that covers the

Floyd | ground seems to be fighting a losing battle with the desert that
Floyd | approaches from the north and the west.  Paths lead east and southeast
Floyd | back into the forest.  A large metal cage stands empty here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd | The Edge of A Cliff
Floyd |    You stand on the cornered edge of a cliff, above a
Floyd | brown-and-grey-painted canyon that stretches down far enough to create
Floyd | a sort of vertical horizon.  Pulling your eyes upward before the sight

Floyd | makes you topple over, you see a thin mesa jutting out of the depths of
Floyd | the canyon, a few hundred yards to your west. To your east is the edge
Floyd | of a forest that seems to be fighting a losing battle with the desert
Floyd | in which you stand.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert asks, "OK, where'd that sign go?"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd | The Edge of the Woods
Floyd |    The trees here are sparser, and the thick moss that covers the
Floyd | ground seems to be fighting a losing battle with the desert that

Floyd | approaches from the north and the west.  Paths lead east and southeast
Floyd | back into the forest.  A large metal cage stands empty here.
Cathy says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | The Middle of the Woods
Floyd |    You are in a thick patch of towering redwoods.  A path leads west,
Floyd | where the trees grow sparser, and south.  Looming over you to the north
Floyd | is the tower in whose base you were so recently imprisoned.  From the
Floyd | outside, you can see that the tower looks like a humungous carrot.
Floyd |

Floyd | Oooooooh, you're going to get that rabbit.
Floyd |    You see a wooden sign here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x sign"
Cathy says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd | It looks like this wooden sign originally said "Duck Season," but
Floyd | somebody crossed off the word "Duck" and wrote "Rabbit."  Then somebody
Floyd | else crossed off the word "Rabbit" and wrote "Duck."  In fact, the
Floyd | words "Duck" and "Rabbit" must have been written and crossed off a

Floyd | dozen times each.  At the moment, the sign proclaims that it's duck
Floyd | season.  This accursed interference in the rights of honest hunters
Floyd | like yourself is signed "Bruce Babbit, Secretary of the Interior."
Floyd | Ooooh, that rascally Babbit!
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "get sign"
Floyd | Taken.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get sign"
Floyd | You already have the wooden sign!
Floyd |

Floyd | >
smartgenes exclaims, "great minds think alike!"
Bert says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd | In the Woods
Floyd |    You are standing deep within the woods.  A thick roof of leaves

Floyd | blocks most sunlight from entering, and a thick wall of treetrunks
Floyd | blocks you from exiting in most directions.  You can squeeze through to
Floyd | the north and the northwest, where the forest seems to grow less dense.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "write duck on sign"
Floyd | I don't know the word "write".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "it says duck season"
Catena says, "it now says duck season"
Cathy says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Cathy says (to Floyd), "look"
Floyd | In the Woods
Floyd |    You are standing deep within the woods.  A thick roof of leaves
Floyd | blocks most sunlight from entering, and a thick wall of treetrunks
Floyd | blocks you from exiting in most directions.  You can squeeze through to

Floyd | the north and the northwest, where the forest seems to grow less dense.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "nw"
Floyd | The Edge of the Woods

Floyd |    The trees here are sparser, and the thick moss that covers the
Floyd | ground seems to be fighting a losing battle with the desert that
Floyd | approaches from the north and the west.  Paths lead east and southeast
Floyd | back into the forest.  A large metal cage stands empty here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd | Outside the Mine
Floyd |    You stand in the middle of a huge desert, north of a stand of
Floyd | struggling trees and west of a deep cave.  As you stand staring into
Floyd | the vast darkness that lies within the cavern, a strange smell on the

Floyd | wind makes your nose twitch.  You pause for a moment and recognize it.
Floyd | It's the smell of wealth.
Floyd |    Dizzy Duck is here, rubbing his hands with greedy glee.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says, "It said Duck Season from the start."
Bert says (to Floyd), "show sign to duck"
Floyd |
Floyd | Dizzy sticks his finger in the barrel of your gun and grins cockily at
Floyd | you.  "You thee, thir, you can't thyoot a duck in rabbit--" Then he

Floyd | looks once again at the sign you're carrying and turns as pale as he
Floyd | can, considering that he's covered with jet-black feathers.  "Oooh,
Floyd | that rabbit.  He'th dethpicable!"  In a swift blur, Dizzy vanishes,
Floyd | taking the wheelbarrow full of jewels with him.  Moments later, he
Floyd | returns, crosses out the word "Duck," replaces it with "Rabbit," and,
Floyd | just to be on the safe side, vanishes again.

Floyd |
Floyd | * * * Your score just increased by 1 point.  * * *
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "score"
Floyd | In a total of 125 turns, you have achieved a score of 5 points out of a
Floyd | possible 10.
Floyd | This makes you A Shoddy Saturday Morning Cartoon.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "SAVE"
Bert says (to Floyd), "cf4"
Floyd | File to save game in >

Floyd | Saved.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Cathy asks, "e into the mine now?"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd | Outside the Mine
Floyd |    You stand in the middle of a huge desert, north of a stand of
Floyd | struggling trees and west of a deep cave.  As you stand staring into
Floyd | the vast darkness that lies within the cavern, a strange smell on the
Floyd | wind makes your nose twitch.  You pause for a moment and recognize it.
Floyd | It's the smell of wealth.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "I guess so."
Cathy says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd |

Floyd | As you enter the mine, you hear a rumbling from deep within.  Suddenly,
Floyd | a bump appears on the eastern edge of your vision.  It rapidly extends
Floyd | itself west, becoming a thick ridge that runs out the door.
Floyd |
Floyd | Inside the Mine
Floyd |    You are inside a vast cave that vanishes into darkess on all sides,

Floyd | except for the entrance to the west.  The lush carpet of wealth
Floyd | contained herein is enough to make even you, Elmo Fuld, millionaire,
Floyd | gasp.  A narrow beam of sharp desert light flows in from outside and
Floyd | reflects off a ruck of rubies, from where it bounces off into brood of
Floyd | beryl, heads for a heap of heliotrope, crashes into a clot of
Floyd | carnelian, hurries to a hunk of hyacinth, bashes into a battillion of

Floyd | bloodstone, careens into a cohort of carbuncle, makes for a murmuration
Floyd | of moonstone, and, completely zonked, catches some z's in a crowded
Floyd | zareba of cubic zirconium.
Floyd |    You see a ancient lamp and a ridge in the ground running from east
Floyd | to west here.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Corporal_Touchy exclaims, "Good evening clubbers!"
smartgenes says, "too much jewel info"
Jacqueline says, "Hello, CT."
Cathy says (to Floyd), "get lamp"
Floyd | Taken.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x lamp"
Floyd | It's an oil lamp.  Through the thick tarnish that has covered the
Floyd | lamp's bronze surface in the ages since it was created, you can see
Floyd | intricate Arabian swirls, gracefully etched.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x ridge"
Floyd | The ridge is a thick lump in the ground, running from east to west.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Cathy says (to Floyd), "light lamp"
Floyd | There's no verb in that sentence!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "rub lamp"
Floyd | You rub the lamp, removing a little bit of tarnish.  Nothing else
Floyd | happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

inky says (to Floyd), "rub lamp"
Floyd | Nothing happens.
Floyd |
Floyd | Suddenly, a thick plume of smoke bellows out of the mouth of the lamp.
Floyd | When it clears, a magnificent genii stands before you.  He starts out

Floyd | huge, with a massive purple turban crowning an Easter-Island-sized
Floyd | head, and tapers down through his massive shoulders, his muscular
Floyd | torso, his trim waist, his slender legs, his narrow knees, and his
Floyd | pin-sized ankles, which are crammed into the mouth of the lamp above
Floyd | which he floats.
Floyd |    "Sorry I'm a little late," he says.  "I was on another line.

Floyd | Anyway, you've rescued me from my eternal prison, therefore I'm honor
Floyd | bound to give you three wishes, yadda yadda yadda.  So, what do you
Floyd | want?  Bet you were going to ask for a magic helmet, weren't you?"  He
Floyd | tosses you one.  "This helmet gives you command of the east and west
Floyd | winds.  Just say 'west winds, blow' or 'east winds, blow' and they'll
Floyd | do so.  Neat, huh?  OK, what else do you want?  If you don't say

Floyd | anything, I'll assume you don't want any more wishes and I'm free to go
Floyd | about my business."  He pauses for an infinitesimal fraction of a
Floyd | second.  "OK.  I guess you don't want anything.  Always a pleasure to
Floyd | meet somebody so contented with his lot.  Ta ta."  In another puff of
Floyd | smoke, he vanishes, leaving you clutching the helmet.
Floyd |

Floyd | * * * Your score just increased by 1 point.  * * *
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "well done inky"
smartgenes says, "the old try it twice trick"
Bert says, "Or the 'wait a turn doing something inconsequential' trick."
Bert says (to Floyd), "wear helmet"
Floyd | Okay, you're now wearing the magic helmet.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x it"
Floyd | It looks like something out of a Wagner opera.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says (to Floyd), "take jewels"
Floyd | As you reach down to pick up a gem off the huge pile, you recall
Floyd | something your accountant said to you yesterday:  "Mr.  Fuld, right
Floyd | now, you're in the nine-nine-point-nine-percent tax bracket.  If your
Floyd | value increases by more than a thousand dollars before the end of the

Floyd | fiscal year, you'll be in the one hundred percent bracket, and you'll
Floyd | have to give everything you own to the government."  Since any one gem
Floyd | in this mine would be worth several thousand at least, you realize that
Floyd | your tax bracket prevents you from taking anything out of here (except
Floyd | that obviously worthless old lamp).
Floyd |

Floyd | Oooh, that rascally bracket!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "If only we could have wished for a spear."
Catena asks, "what's opera, doc?"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd | Inside the Mine
Floyd |    You are inside a vast cave that vanishes into darkess on all sides,
Floyd | except for the entrance to the west.  The lush carpet of wealth
Floyd | contained herein is enough to make even you, Elmo Fuld, millionaire,

Floyd | gasp.  A narrow beam of sharp desert light flows in from outside and
Floyd | reflects off a ruck of rubies, from where it bounces off into brood of
Floyd | beryl, heads for a heap of heliotrope, crashes into a clot of
Floyd | carnelian, hurries to a hunk of hyacinth, bashes into a battillion of
Floyd | bloodstone, careens into a cohort of carbuncle, makes for a murmuration
Floyd | of moonstone, and, completely zonked, catches some z's in a crowded

Floyd | zareba of cubic zirconium.
Floyd |    You see a ridge in the ground running from east to west here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd | You take a step into the vast darkness of the mine, but you realize
Floyd | that, without a light source, you risk plummeting into an unseen shaft.
Floyd | Better not risk it.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Corporal_Touchy arrives, full of fun and funk.
Bert says (to Floyd), "east winds, blow"
Floyd | The East Winds blow furiously for a moment, then subside.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "light lamp"
Floyd | There's no verb in that sentence!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "turn on lamp"
Floyd | I don't know how to turn the ancient lamp on.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says, "I guess follow the ridge out. Bud tunneled out of here."
Bert says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd | Outside the Mine
Floyd |    You stand in the middle of a huge desert, north of a stand of
Floyd | struggling trees and west of a deep cave.  As you stand staring into
Floyd | the vast darkness that lies within the cavern, a strange smell on the

Floyd | wind makes your nose twitch.  You pause for a moment and recognize it.
Floyd | It's the smell of wealth.
Floyd |    You see a ridge in the ground running from west to south here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "follow ridge"
Floyd | I don't know how to follow the ridge in the ground running from west to
Floyd | south.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "west winds blow"
Bert says (to Floyd), "smell wealth"
Floyd | I don't understand that sentence.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | I don't see any wealth here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "I'm wondering how much toon watching research he had to do."
Bert says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd | The Edge of the Woods
Floyd |    The trees here are sparser, and the thick moss that covers the
Floyd | ground seems to be fighting a losing battle with the desert that
Floyd | approaches from the north and the west.  Paths lead east and southeast
Floyd | back into the forest.  A large metal cage stands empty here.
Floyd |    You see a ridge in the ground running from north to east here.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd | The Middle of the Woods
Floyd |    You are in a thick patch of towering redwoods.  A path leads west,

Floyd | where the trees grow sparser, and south.  Looming over you to the north
Floyd | is the tower in whose base you were so recently imprisoned.  From the
Floyd | outside, you can see that the tower looks like a humungous carrot.
Floyd |
Floyd | Oooooooh, you're going to get that rabbit.
Floyd |    You see a ridge in the ground running from west to south here.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "I mean, I'm catching all the references, but some are hard to remember, and I could never have brought them up all on my own."
Bert says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd | In the Woods

Floyd |    You are standing deep within the woods.  A thick roof of leaves
Floyd | blocks most sunlight from entering, and a thick wall of treetrunks
Floyd | blocks you from exiting in most directions.  You can squeeze through to
Floyd | the north and the northwest, where the forest seems to grow less dense.
Floyd | There's a hole in the ground, but it's too narrow for you to fit
Floyd | through.

Floyd |    You see a ridge in the ground running from the south and ending in a
Floyd | hole here.
Floyd |    Bud Bunny is here.
Floyd |
Floyd | "It's so thoughtful of you not to have shot me yet," Bud says.  "I
Floyd | could just kiss you."  He throws his furry arms around you, plants a

Floyd | huge kiss on your lips, and then goes back to scrutinizing his map.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x map"
Floyd | It's a large map of the United States, covered with an elaborate route

Floyd | marked in purple crayon.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x rotue"
Floyd | I don't know the word "rotue".

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x route"
Floyd | I don't know the word "route".
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says, "Perhaps he was unemployed and watching a lot of cartoons at the time."
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x mud"
Floyd | I don't know the word "mud".
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "heh"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "west winds, blow"
Floyd | The West Winds blow furiously for a moment, then subside.
Floyd |

Floyd | "It's so thoughtful of you not to have shot me yet," Bud says.  "I
Floyd | could just kiss you."  He throws his furry arms around you, plants a
Floyd | huge kiss on your lips, and then goes back to scrutinizing his map.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x bud"
Floyd | Like all rabbits, Bud is buck-toothed, big-eared, and roughly six feet
Floyd | tall.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "ask bud about left"
Floyd | I don't know the word "left".
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "shoot bud"
Floyd | As you raise the gun, Bud sticks his finger in the barrel.  "Sorry,
Floyd | Doc, it's duck season."  Embarrassed, you lower the gun.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "show sign to bud"
Floyd | Bud looks at the sign, blinks for a moment, and then says "If you'll
Floyd | excuse me, I believe I've left a pot on the boil."  Before you can
Floyd | react, he leaps in the air, executes a neat flip, and dives headfirst
Floyd | into the hole."

Floyd |
Floyd | * * * Your score just increased by 1 point.  * * *
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "score"
Floyd | In a total of 149 turns, you have achieved a score of 7 points out of a
Floyd | possible 10.
Floyd | This makes you A Handsome Hand-Drawn Animated Short.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says, "ha ha"
Bert says (to Floyd), "d"
Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x hole"
Floyd | It's a narrow dark hole.
Floyd |
Floyd | Suddenly, like Venus arising from the waves, a vision of loveliness

Floyd | pops out of the hole.  She has the largest curves, the sweetest breath,
Floyd | and the merriest eyes you've ever seen, all combined into one
Floyd | six-foot-tall package.  And, most attractive of all, the has a thick
Floyd | mane of beautiful blond hair.  You are overcome with love and desire.
Floyd | You can think of nothing better than wedding her and devoting the rest
Floyd | of your life to making her happy, even if she does have buck teeth and

Floyd | big floppy ears.  "Eh, what's up, dear?"  she asks, in a faintly
Floyd | Southern lilt.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert exclaims, "Happy ending and we get the girl!"
Catena asks, "blindfold and shoot?"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "marry woman"
Floyd | I don't know the word "marry".
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "kiss bud"
Floyd | I don't see any bud here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "kiss woman"
Floyd | The woman slaps you.  "Not on the first date!"  she says.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "kiss woman"
Floyd | The woman slaps you.  "Not on the first date!"  she says.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You have a hunting cap (being worn), a blindfold, a note, a gun, a
Floyd | lettuce sandwich, a Hawaiian shirt (being worn), a baseball cap, a
Floyd | cologne bottle, a wooden sign, a ancient lamp, and a magic helmet
Floyd | (being worn).
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "ask woman for date"
Floyd | I don't know the word "date".
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "west wind, blow"
Floyd | The West Winds blow fiercely for a moment, setting the woman's
Floyd | beautiful blond hair just a little bit askew.  You stare at it
Floyd | suspiciously as you realize it may be a wig--but you decide that,
Floyd | unless the hair comes off completely, you will trust your newfound

Floyd | love.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "bugs bunny dressed up"
Bert says (to Floyd), "east wind, blow"
Floyd | The East Winds blow fiercely, ripping the woman's beautiful blond hair
Floyd | off entirely.  As it goes sailing off into the distance, you realize
Floyd | with a shock that this vision of loveliness is none other than Bud
Floyd | Bunny.  Oh, cruel, cruel fate!  Oh, to have love so near, then snatched
Floyd | away!  Ooooh--in short-- that rascally rabbit!
Floyd |

Floyd | * * * Your score just increased by 1 point.  * * *
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "do it again"
ParserGirl goes home. inky says, "hee hee"
Cathy says (to Floyd), "shoot Bud"
Floyd | You lift the gun to shoot Bud.  He stands bravely at attention.  "Go
Floyd | ahead, shoot me, Doc," he says.  "I don't deserve to live."  As you are

Floyd | about to pull the trigger, a single tear cascades down his cheek,
Floyd | smudging his mascara and making you hesitate for a moment, gun in
Floyd | mid-air.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "dang morals"
Corporal_Touchy says, "heehee"
Cathy says (to Floyd), "blindfold bud"
Floyd | There's no verb in that sentence!
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "score"
Floyd | In a total of 157 turns, you have achieved a score of 8 points out of a
Floyd | possible 10.
Floyd | This makes you An Oscar-Winning Animated Short.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "shoot bud"
Floyd | You steel your nerve to pull the trigger.  "What are you waiting for,
Floyd | Doc?"  Bud asks you.  "Just shoot.  Try not to think about the wife and

Floyd | fifteen little ones whose lives depend on me."  You pause.  Can you
Floyd | really make fifteen litte ones starve just so you can dine on
Floyd | hasenpfefer?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "shoot bud"
Floyd | All right.  This time you're going to do it.  As your finger tenses on
Floyd | the trigger, Bud, who has been quietly sniffling, suddenly breaks out
Floyd | into full fledged tears.  "Go ahead, Doc," he bawls.  "Put me out of my
Floyd | misery.  Put a bullet in my brain.  Forget about all laws of human

Floyd | kindness, I beg you, and shoot me.  What does it matter if you'll be
Floyd | hated, mocked, ostracized, even, for shooting a helpless beast?  You'll
Floyd | be doing me a favor.  Surely you're not so selfish as to condemn me to
Floyd | a lifetime of guilt over my cruel trick just because you'll have to
Floyd | endure a lifetime of humilation for shooting me."  You stop and
Floyd | consider the image that Bud has painted for you.  Is a single meal

Floyd | worth destroying your life?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "yes"
Floyd | That was a rhetorical question.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes shoots the harmful Gene Ray at gun, whose lips turn into bulbous green sacs of air.
Bert says (to Floyd), "shoot bud"
Floyd | Drat that rabbit!  He's just playing with your mind.  Well, you're
Floyd | going to shoot him.  You close your eyes so you can't see his tears.
Floyd | You pull down your hunting cap over your ears so you can't hear his
Floyd | sobs.  You raise the gun and pull the trigger--but at that very moment,
Floyd | the game warden runs up and knocks the gun out of your hands.  As you
Floyd | open your eyes and stare at him in frustration, he shrugs.  "Sorry, Mr.

Floyd | Fuld.  It's now roadrunner season.  If you had only fired a few minutes
Floyd | earlier..."
Floyd |    "Bud's tears vanish in an instant.  "Sorry about that, Doc," he
Floyd | says, grabbing your hand and shaking it wildly up and down.  "Better
Floyd | luck next season.  Good luck hunting roadrunners.  Been a pleasure
Floyd | doing business with you.  Ta ta.  Don't forget to write.  Don't let the

Floyd | bedbugs bite.  Don't take any wooden nickles.  Look both ways before
Floyd | crossing the street.  Say hi to the missus for me."  With that, he
Floyd | strides off, leaving you to fume for yet another year.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd | * * * Your score just increased by 2 points.* * *
Floyd |
Floyd | In a total of 161 turns, you have achieved a score of 10 points out of
Floyd | a possible 10.
Floyd | This makes you Worthy Of The Memory of Mel Blanc.
Floyd | Thanks for visiting Toonesia.  Th-th-th-that's all, folks!

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Well, what did you expect in a cartoon--a satisfying ending?
Floyd |
Floyd asks, "That game over already? It was just getting good. Wanna play another?" Catena says, "this guy talks more than the Doctor"
smartgenes says, "easy peasy"
inky says, "hooray"
Bert asks, "What, no 'See you in St. Louis'?"
smartgenes asks, "how did Floyd know the game was over?"
Bert says, "He is a genius."
Catena says, "probably "end game in success""
Cathy says, "I wonder if there's a way to end it without having to want to shoot bud"
Catena says, "oh, this is TADS"
smartgenes says, "new game new game :[P"
Corporal_Touchy asks, "anything else up tonight?"
Catena says, "nice moustache"
Bert says, "The Kissing Bandit is also scheduled for today."
DavidW asks, "is it?"
smartgenes says, "kissing bandits it is"
Bert asks, "Isn't it?"
Catena says, "bb says it is"
Jacqueline says, "Yep"
smartgenes says, "f kiss bandit"
Corporal_Touchy says, "how about we take 5 first"
DavidW says, "ah. so it is."
Corporal_Touchy asks, "or make that 7 and start on the hour?"
McMartin says, "I think I'll break for lunch."
Jacqueline says, "Also, I just got a call and need to go respond to something at work."
Jacqueline says, "I think it will be brief, though."
DavidW says, "It takes 7 minutes to cook pasta. yum."
McMartin says, "TotKB is also swift."
smartgenes says, "i make it 2 minutes to"
Jacqueline says, "And I'll be logging while I'm gone."
Cathy says, "I vote for doing TotKB next week"
smartgenes says, "must be US 5 minutes mean time"
smartgenes says, "what is totkb"
Catena says, "I'm fine with doing more today"
McMartin says, "Tale of the Kissing Bandit"
smartgenes is making tea, who wants some smartgenes asks, "a new game being played?"
inky says, "it seems like we shoudl give people a couple more minutes"
smartgenes says, "i was just asking if that was the plan"
inky says, "well, it seemed like most people were up for it"
Bert says, "It was the original plan, so long as Toonesia didn't take forever."
Bert asks, "How long did it take?"
Catena says, "an hour"
Corporal_Touchy says, "now is totally not forever"
Cathy says, "but Jacqueline has to leave, and this is sort of her party"
DavidW says, "And the noodles have been dumped into the water... and soon, Pasta Will Be Mine!!! bwah-ha-ha!!"
Catena says, "hhmmm, pasta-loony"
DavidW says, "Or maybe riga-toony"
Catena says, "hee"
Catena says, "pasta-za-fool"
smartgenes says, "hi triki"
trikiw says, "heya"
Corporal_Touchy exclaims, "wow...riga-toony...terrible pun! love it!"
Cathy goes home. Catena asks, "would anyone like to play a game like Toonesia set around the coyote assembling, setting up, and firing gadgets, and failing spectacularly, over and over?"
DavidW says, "of course"
inky says, "it seems like it'd be a little unsatisfying if you keep failing"
Corporal_Touchy says, "me too"
DavidW says (to inky), "hush. I wanna play it."
Corporal_Touchy says, "i think it sounds awesome"
inky says, "hee hee"
Catena says, "well, the coyote can't succeed, itas a Rule of that segment"
inky says, "ok, or not!"
Corporal_Touchy asks, "but what happened to kissing bandits?"
inky says, "I guess in this game Fudd doesn't succeed in shooting anyone"
Catena says, "just like the R.R never gets violent"
inky says, "well, ok, Jacqueline is slacking off, let's get this show on the road"
inky says (to Floyd), "list b"
Floyd says (to inky), "b2demo babel babel2 babel31 babes badguys balances bandit bap barometer bb bbp bear bearg bedlam beet beingandrewplotkin bellwater beneath bestman bestof3 bigmama bj blair bloody bluemen bmch bomber booth break-in breakin bronze bse bunny"
inky says (to Floyd), "load bandit"
Floyd | Welcome to the Cheap Glk Implementation, library version 0.9.0.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | The grand ballroom is awhirl with colour and gaiety on this, the night
Floyd | of the annual Governor's Ball. All of the choice mademoiselles are

Floyd | spinning in their lace finery, bewitching upright young suitors, lined
Floyd | up five deep to kiss a wrist.
Floyd |
Floyd | The Kissing Bandit has other plans, though. First, he must be cautious.
Floyd | Find a fetching femme who has parted from her company, to rest alone in
Floyd | a shaded alcove. Or perhaps take a stroll on the veranda. Yes,

Floyd | perhaps... ah, you twirl your moustaches with delight. The Kissing
Floyd | Bandit shall have no trouble tonight finding a pair of pert lips, ready
Floyd | for a stolen kiss...
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | [Hit return or space to continue.]
smartgenes asks, "when's plan to start?"
inky says, "NOW"
inky says (to Floyd), "push space"
inky pushes the green 'space' button.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | The Tale of the Kissing Bandit
Floyd | by Cary Valentino

Floyd | Release 1 / Serial number 010210 / Inform v6.21 Library 6/10
Floyd |
Floyd | Grand Ballroom, south side
Floyd | The grand ballroom of the Emerson Hotel is a busy spin of high
Floyd | society's young and old. The Warthingtons, the Worthingtons, the
Floyd | Wellingtons (London and Boston branches), the Westons, the Wooltons,

Floyd | the Whitestones...
Floyd |
Floyd | Hmm, maybe the room is arranged alphabetically, you think. The upper
Floyd | class loves hewing to arbitrary orders, almost by definition. It's up
Floyd | to the Kissing Bandit to inject a note of blessed confusion to the
Floyd | events.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "The coyote can succeed in executing his plans without his plans necessarily succeeding."
inky says (to Floyd), "twirl moustache"
Floyd | You twirl your moustaches. Ha-HA!

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Corporal_Touchy says, ""gaiety" haha awesome word..totally overtaking "mediocre" on my favorite words list"
inky says (to Floyd), "x moustache"
Floyd | The moustache conceals your identity and adds a touch of melodrama to

Floyd | the Kissing Bandit's appearance, you do think.
Floyd |
Floyd | A lovely young demoiselle, looking in her ruffled ball gown like a
Floyd | plenteous dish of peaches and whipped cream, parts from the general
Floyd | company. Fanning herself, she retreats to the west.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
smartgenes goes home. Catena says, "aye"
inky says (to Floyd), "x me"
Floyd | Ha-HA! No one will ever guess the identity of the Kissing Bandit! Not
Floyd | even... uh... yourself!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "kiss me"
Floyd | The Kissing Bandit kiss himself? Preposterous!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x Wellingtons"
Floyd | Which do you mean, the London Wellingtons or the Boston Wellingtons?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "i got disconnected did i"
inky says (to Floyd), "london"
Floyd | Your gaze notes nothing remarkable about the London Wellingtons.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "follow that girl west"
inky says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd |
Floyd | Grand Ballroom, southwest corner
Floyd | This corner of the ballroom is cool and shaded, with a russet portico
Floyd | leading west to a series of private salons.
Floyd |
Floyd | Young Peaches-and-Cream stands here, fanning herself lightly.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x peaches"
Floyd | Why, it's little Lily Whitestone herself! She's chanced to escape the
Floyd | plump pursed lips of the Kissing Bandit on other occasions... but no

Floyd | one ever escapes your kisses for long!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena exclaims, "what purple prose!"
smartgenes arrives, full of fun, but no funk.
Bert says (to Floyd), "greet lily"
Floyd | That verb is outside the Kissing Bandit's knowing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says, "plenteous purple prose"
Catena exclaims, "hee!"
smartgenes says, "what did i miss"
inky says, "we found a girl"
inky says, "who we will probably attempt to kiss"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   a black mask (being worn)
Floyd |   a fake moustache (being worn)
Floyd |   a pair of buckled boots (being worn)
Floyd |   a velvet cloak (being worn)

Floyd |   a rakish hat (being worn)
Floyd |   a locket (being worn and closed)
Floyd |   a grouch bag (being worn)
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline is bacqueline.
inky says, "awesome"
inky says (to Floyd), "x grouch"
Floyd | The grouch bag is special; a magician once gave it to you in return for
Floyd | helping him escape from persecutors. It is small and light, made of

Floyd | oiled leather. You have found that it can hold many things, including
Floyd | your entire costume -- cloak, boots, and all.
Floyd |
Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "tip hat"
Floyd | That verb is outside the Kissing Bandit's knowing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x hat"
Floyd | The rakish hat is becomingly sly.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "tip hat"
Floyd | That verb is outside the Kissing Bandit's knowing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "lift hat"
Floyd | That verb is outside the Kissing Bandit's knowing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "raise hat"
Floyd | That verb is outside the Kissing Bandit's knowing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "doff hat"
Floyd | You take off the rakish hat.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "wear it"
Floyd | You put on the rakish hat.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x boots"
Floyd | Ah, these are magic boots, boots full of secrets. They allow the
Floyd | Kissing Bandit to move swiftly and silently; to sneak and to steal
Floyd | close without detection; to climb and jump like a jackrabbit; and to

Floyd | run with the fleetness of quicksilver.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "bow"
Floyd | That verb is outside the Kissing Bandit's knowing.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x mask"
Floyd | The black mask protects your identity.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "twirl moustache"
Floyd | You twirl your moustaches. Ha-HA!
Floyd |
Floyd | >

inky says (to Floyd), "dance"
Floyd | You dance in an intoxicated swirl for a few minutes, and then return,
Floyd | laughing, to where you started.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

inky says (to Floyd), "dance with girl"
Floyd | That either isn't here, or is unimportant to the Kissing Bandit.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "l" Bert says, "I think we may have to resort to you-know-what."
Floyd |
Floyd | Grand Ballroom, southwest corner
Floyd | This corner of the ballroom is cool and shaded, with a russet portico

Floyd | leading west to a series of private salons.
Floyd |
Floyd | Lily Whitestone is here.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "dance with lily"
Floyd | You dance in an intoxicated swirl for a few minutes, and then return,
Floyd | laughing, to where you started.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

inky says, "oh fine"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "kiss lily"
Floyd | You steal closer, closer, closer... and plant a juicy one right on her
Floyd | gleaming rosebud lips! She makes a tiny squealing noise that stops
Floyd | short, her lips tighten as her face pulls into a smile.

Floyd |
Floyd | Lily Whitestone, a smiler -- imagine!
Floyd |
Floyd | But, now it is time to flee. With a twirl of your cape and a bow, you
Floyd | steal away into the night...
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | [Hit return or space to continue.]
Catena says, "ohh-la-la you must kiss de girl"
maga arrives, ready to play with the toys.
inky pushes the green 'space' button.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Garden park
Floyd | The luscious gardens, abloom in the early spring, send forth their
Floyd | heady aromas on the nuzzling breezes. Aloft, too, are the erotic

Floyd | perfumes of the finely dressed ladies in white, walking two by two in
Floyd | the early eve, innocent as does, poised as summer swans.
Floyd |
Floyd | A choice maiden sits alone on a bench, reading a steamy novel by
Floyd | gaslight. Mwuhaha-HA! The Smooching Bandit has chosen his second of the
Floyd | evening. A burning buss on those pink smackers will do, will surely

Floyd | do...
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW asks, "Well, it wasn't the Dancing Bandit, was it?"
inky says (to Floyd), "x novel"
Floyd | You recognise it at once, for it is penned by your own hand! A great,
Floyd | passionate work, published under a pseudonym, of course. And here sits
Floyd | one of your captive audience, immersed in the florid prose of Chapter
Floyd | 10! If only she knew... ha-HA! If only she knew!
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "x lips"
Floyd | Blushed and full... She bites them softly as she reads...
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "read novel"
Floyd | You recognise it at once, for it is penned by your own hand! A great,
Floyd | passionate work, published under a pseudonym, of course. And here sits
Floyd | one of your captive audience, immersed in the florid prose of Chapter
Floyd | 10! If only she knew... ha-HA! If only she knew!

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x maiden"
Floyd | She is absorbed in the novel she is reading.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "caress her"
Floyd | She is absorbed in the novel she is reading.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

inky says (to Floyd), "ask maiden about novel"
Floyd | The Kissing Bandit prefers to refrain from conversation, to preserve
Floyd | the mystery...
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "take her from behind"
Floyd | She is absorbed in the novel she is reading.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "taste lips"
Floyd | You taste nothing unexpected.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Bert), "naughty"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get book"
Floyd | That either isn't here, or is unimportant to the Kissing Bandit.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "She doesn't seem to mind."
inky says, ">LICK MY OWN LIPS"
Bert says, "Or notice."
inky says (to Floyd), "get novel"
Floyd | That seems to belong to the maiden.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x bench"
Floyd | That either isn't here, or is unimportant to the Kissing Bandit.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x gardens" Catena says, "ohh-la-la you must kiss de girl"
Floyd | That either isn't here, or is unimportant to the Kissing Bandit.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "Did we look at our locket."
maga says (to Floyd), "x gaslight"
Floyd | That either isn't here, or is unimportant to the Kissing Bandit.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x locket"
Floyd | The locket is made of carved gold, inlaid with delicate ornaments. You
Floyd | can't see inside, since the locket is closed.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Jacqueline asks, "?"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "say to maiden "follow me""
Floyd | I didn't understand that sentence.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "open locket"
Floyd | Opening the locket reveals a silhouette and a tiny lock of brown hair.
Floyd |
Floyd | Ah! Your heart breaks once again over your one true lost love! Fair

Floyd | Marianne, twas you that spurned my love, flaming a fury that turned one
Floyd | simple boy into this dashing rogue, that steals kisses by night! If
Floyd | only I could find you...
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says, "aww"
inky says (to Floyd), "x silhouette" Jacqueline says, "aww"
Floyd | It is a silhouette of Marianne, the fair creature that broke your
Floyd | heart. It is the only image you have of her. Even your memories of her

Floyd | face have been blurred by tears.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
DavidW says (to Floyd), "x lock"
Floyd | A lock of Marianne's hair. The gently curved strands catch the light in

Floyd | autumn colours of brown, red, and gold.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "kiss silhouette"
Floyd | You kiss the silhouette; it is, alas, a pale imitation. It leaves ashes

Floyd | in your mouth.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "kiss hat"
Floyd | The rakish hat isn't a proper target for the Kissing Bandit!

Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "give locket to maiden"
Floyd | The maiden doesn't seem interested.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Jacqueline says (to inky), "Thanks."
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "shout in maiden's lughole"
Floyd | (to the maiden)
Floyd | That isn't something you can talk to.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "Also, man... laggy. Glad I'm not driving."
DavidW says, "Is there a reason no one's trying >KISS MAIDEN"
maga says (to Floyd), "dance"
Floyd | You dance in an intoxicated swirl for a few minutes, and then return,
Floyd | laughing, to where you started.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says, "we kissed her already"
inky says, "oh, just because then we'll be onto the next scene"
Catena says, "too obvious, perchance"
DavidW says, "We did not kiss this one."
inky says, "but if there's nothing else to try here I guess we can go on"
Bert says, "I think we are looking for any other interesting responses here before we advance the scene."
smartgenes says, "umm is that all we do"
smartgenes says, "kiss the maidens and depart"
Catena says, "hopefully we'll be able to slap the fish in some scene"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "kiss maiden"
Floyd | Ah, before the kiss, you must sneak! Sneak east, then around the tree,
Floyd | then up from behind...
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "steal heart"
Floyd | That either isn't here, or is unimportant to the Kissing Bandit.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to smartgenes), "in this era banditry is very specialized"
Bert says (to Floyd), "sneak"
Floyd | You sneak east. The pale line of the maiden's neck glows in the
Floyd | twilight. Perhaps the Kissing Bandit should kiss the neck, not the
Floyd | lips? Ah...!

Floyd |
Floyd | The Bandit stations himself sneakily behind a tree. The maiden stirs,
Floyd | looks left and right, but not behind. Her head tilts down again, her
Floyd | eyes on the page. The Bandit's eyes are on her shoulders, spilling down
Floyd | their slopes. The benchwood blocks further views -- until a slight
Floyd | movement reveals the slender crescent of her neck once again.

Floyd |
Floyd | Time now to steal forward. The sneaking is the best part.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "lol"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "bite neck"
Floyd | That verb is outside the Kissing Bandit's knowing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "steal"
Floyd | (a kiss)
Floyd | Where do you want to kiss her, on her graceful neck or on her rosy
Floyd | lips?
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "lips"
Floyd | You lean around, catching her by surprise! Your mouths touch, but the
Floyd | maiden resists! Your puckered lips frighten her, and why shouldn't
Floyd | they?
Floyd |

Floyd | "The Bandit! The Bandit!" she shrieks. So -- she has heard of the
Floyd | Kissing Bandit! You cannot help but be flattered, and so you smile. At
Floyd | the sight of your pearly teeth, the maiden gasps and takes off running
Floyd | to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | You leap atop the bench and cry, "Ha-ha-HA! You cannot escape the

Floyd | Kissing Bandit!"
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "who made this game"
inky says, "perhaps we should have kissed her neck"
DavidW says, "Rob"
Catena says, "man, this guy is pretty lame"
inky says, "Rob made it for smoochiecomp"
Bert says, "You can UNDO if you want to try the neck."
inky says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | Garden park
Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >

inky says (to Floyd), "kiss neck"
Floyd | You lean in, but the maiden feels your hot breath on her neck and
Floyd | whirls!
Floyd |
Floyd | "The Bandit! The Bandit!" she shrieks. So -- she has heard of the

Floyd | Kissing Bandit! You cannot help but be flattered, and so you smile. At
Floyd | the sight of your pearly teeth, the maiden gasps and takes off running
Floyd | to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | You leap atop the bench and cry, "Ha-ha-HA! You cannot escape the
Floyd | Kissing Bandit!"

Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "funny though"
inky says (to Floyd), "undo"
Floyd | Garden park

Floyd | [Previous turn undone.]
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "sneak"
Floyd | You sneak up right behind the maiden. You are invisible to her! The

Floyd | Kissing Bandit never betrays himself until the moment of the kiss...
Floyd | the inevitable kiss...
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "kiss neck"
Floyd | You lean in, but the maiden feels your hot breath on her neck and
Floyd | whirls!
Floyd |
Floyd | "The Bandit! The Bandit!" she shrieks. So -- she has heard of the
Floyd | Kissing Bandit! You cannot help but be flattered, and so you smile. At
Floyd | the sight of your pearly teeth, the maiden gasps and takes off running

Floyd | to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | You leap atop the bench and cry, "Ha-ha-HA! You cannot escape the
Floyd | Kissing Bandit!"
Floyd |
Floyd | >

inky says, "oh, I guess there is no way to do it here"
Bert says, "Ah, she is a tricky one."
inky says, "I wonder if we have scary teeth"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "go down on pretty maiden"
Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to go the floor.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd | The maiden runs, but she is not too fast. Touching a secret button on

Floyd | your lapel, the boots release hidden springworks, lending superhuman
Floyd | fleetness to your stride.
Floyd |
Floyd | The maiden looks behind, sees you gaining, and nearly swoons. Surely it
Floyd | is your gleaming mustaches that frighten her! She recovers and runs to
Floyd | the north, her hair shaking down into shimmering tresses.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to smartgenes), "I think you are a little confused about what genre we are in"
inky says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd | My, but this one is fast. "Hold, fair maiden! Must you fear the Kissing

Floyd | Bandit? Ha-Ha-HA!" you shout.
Floyd |
Floyd | The maiden cries, "Oh! Oh!" and races onward, north towards the tower.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
maga says (to smartgenes), "we are not called the Kissing, Small Talk and Object-Puzzle Bandit"
inky says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd | The maiden begins to climb the tower! Never has the Kissing Bandit
Floyd | pursued such a worthy quarry! A simple twist of your boot buckles, and
Floyd | the powerful magnets in the soles are activated. Climbing this tower

Floyd | shall be no more trouble to the Kissing Bandit than walking, you smirk
Floyd | to yourself.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
maga says, "(wow, that's some lag)"
Catena says, "I will be so happy if this turns out to be a lovecraftian game, and you are the monster"
inky says (to Floyd), "climb tower"
Floyd | Indeed, this maiden is a superior athlete! You would be almost jealous
Floyd | if her determination to escape were not so invigorating! You climb
Floyd | swiftly, nearly reaching her flashing bare ankles... !

Floyd |
Floyd | "Don't follow me!" she warns. So haughty, even now!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x maiden"
Floyd | The maiden is just above you, scaling the tower with admirable speed!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "climb tower"
Floyd | The maiden reaches the top of the tower! She stands full in the
Floyd | moonlight, defiant. She kicks at your hands as you scale the last rungs
Floyd | of the tower, but you anticipate, you dodge.
Floyd |
Floyd | "There is nowhere for you to run now!" you say. "So here shall I steal
Floyd | my gentle kiss...!"

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Lucea arrives, full of fun, but no funk.
Bert says (to Floyd), "kiss maiden"
Floyd | At the last moment, she turns her head, and your kiss lands her on the
Floyd | cheek, hot breath from your nostrils puffing in her exposed ear. The
Floyd | Kissing Bandit has struck again... Oops!
Floyd |
Floyd | The maiden screams, a piercing whistle in your ear! She rubs her cheek
Floyd | madly with her kerchief. "Gross! My cheek is all slobbery!" She shoves

Floyd | at you, and you fall, you fall from the tower!
Floyd |
Floyd | Is this the end for the Kissi--
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd | [Hit return or space to continue.]
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "grab foot"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "undo"
inky says (to Floyd), "push space"
Jacqueline pushes the green 'space' button.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | OW.
Floyd |
Floyd | You hit the ground at the base of the tower, winded but unhurt. The

Floyd | maiden above says, "Harold Finster! I'm telling Miss Adams!" She leaps
Floyd | off the tower and escapes into the night as the church tower rings.
Floyd |
Floyd | You do not know who this Harold Finster is of which she speaks, but you
Floyd | do recognise the name of your old adversary, Constable Adams! You must
Floyd | escape, quickly!

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Playground, tower base

Floyd | The tower stands here, a protective cage of steel, sturdily erected in
Floyd | the soil and gravel.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x me"
Floyd | Ha-HA! No one will ever guess the identity of the Kissing Bandit! Not
Floyd | even... uh... yourself!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   a black mask (being worn)
Floyd |   a fake moustache (being worn)
Floyd |   a pair of buckled boots (being worn)
Floyd |   a velvet cloak (being worn)
Floyd |   a rakish hat (being worn)

Floyd |   a locket (being worn and open)
Floyd |     a silhouette
Floyd |     a tiny lock of brown hair
Floyd |   a grouch bag (being worn)
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "climb tower"
Floyd | It is a different chase now, for hence the Kissing Bandit is the
Floyd | quarry, and the law the pursuer!
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "hide"
Floyd | That verb is outside the Kissing Bandit's knowing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
* Lucea has joined the channel.
Bert says (to Floyd), "run"
Floyd | You'll have to say which compass direction to go in.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd | "Harold Finster!" Uh oh. It's Constable Adams! You climb inside the
Floyd | bars of the tower where she can't get you. "No one can catch the
Floyd | Kissing Bandit!" you bellow.
Floyd |

Floyd | Miss Adams storms up. "Get out of there this minute, Harold. I'm not
Floyd | kidding." She grabs you by the arm and pushes her face close to yours.
Floyd | "If you don't come out in five seconds, I'm going to come in and carry
Floyd | you out, and not necessarily in one piece!"
Floyd |
Floyd | Her face, her skin, so lovely... perhaps the Kissing Bandit could

Floyd | strike again, even now?
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "kiss constable adams"
Floyd | You lean through the bars and give her a big smack right on the gob.

Floyd | Her eyes fly wide open, becoming two great orbs, beaming invisible rays
Floyd | of heat death right at you. Good thing your special cloak protects you.
Floyd |
Floyd | "That does it!" shouts a purpling Miss Adams. "Harold Finster, I don't
Floyd | know what's gotten into you, but I've had complaints from at least
Floyd | three girls today. You're going to the principal's office right now!"

Floyd |
Floyd | Miss Adams pulls you out of the monkey bars drags you inside. The chief
Floyd | constable has been waiting to catch the Smooching Bandit for years, and
Floyd | now you're being delivered into his fiendish clutches. You'll be locked
Floyd | in the detention tower for sure, but first, interrogation and torture.
Floyd |

Floyd | You scoff. The Smooching Bandit can withstand anything for the sake of
Floyd | a kiss... One day, he will be free to strike again!
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | [Hit return or space to continue.]

smartgenes says, "lol"
Catena says, "oh, yeah, this doesn't remind me of myself in grade school. not at all."
DavidW pushes the green 'space' button.
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd | "Except then came the unkindest cut of all, a wound deep to the heart
Floyd | of the Kissing Bandit! Something even he could not withstand! For
Floyd | there, at the edge of the schoolyard, laughing at him, mocking him in
Floyd | word an gesture, stood Mary Anne Mackelroy! Oh, surely the unkindest
Floyd | cut of all!
Floyd |

Floyd | 'He gives slobbery smooches,' she teased. 'And he always smells like
Floyd | raisins. Eww!'
Floyd |
Floyd | 'Ah, fair Marianne -- ' choked the Bandit as he was led away, his
Floyd | spirit now broken. 'Marianne... '"
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | "And?" Jenny asks, looking at you like you're a little bit nuts.
Floyd |
Floyd | "And, that's the end of the Tale of the Kissing Bandit," you say,
Floyd | shrugging. You prop yourself up on one elbow to adjust your pillow. You
Floyd | lie your head down on it, your goofy smile aimed at the ceiling.

Floyd | "That's the end."
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x jenny"
Floyd | She looks lovely in this light. Her face is a little shiny, and her

Floyd | hair is a bit tussled, but there's no denying the affect her warm smile
Floyd | has on you tonight. Man, you're still as crazy about her as ever.
Floyd |
Floyd | "That was stupid," Jenny says.
Floyd |
Floyd | You're a little hurt by that. "No it wasn't!" you protest. "Besides,

Floyd | what do you expect when you ask me to make something up off the top of
Floyd | my head?"
Floyd |
Floyd | "You were supposed to come up with something romantic."
Floyd |
Floyd | "Well, I thought it was funny-romantic. And I liked the twist ending."

Floyd |
Floyd | "Yeah, yeah, yeah," she says, "You and your twist endings."
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "how does green space work"
Catena says, "ok, this is neat"
Bert says, "You know what we must do."
inky says (to Floyd), "twirl moustache" Catena says, "ohh-la-la you must kiss de girl"
Floyd | You can't see any such thing.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says, "...oh"
smartgenes asks, "fuck jenny?"
McMartin says, "Tsk. kids these days. No idea how to take it slow."
inky says (to Floyd), "kiss jenny"
Floyd | "So," you say, as you give Jenny a little kiss. "Did you like my story
Floyd | or not?"
Floyd |
Floyd | "mmm," she says. "Kiss me again and I'll tell you."

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Catena says, "not AIF"
inky says (to Floyd), "kiss jenny"
Floyd | You give Jenny a better, longer kiss. She smiles. You chuckle.

Floyd |
Floyd | "What's funny?" Jenny asks.
Floyd |
Floyd | "You're a smiler, just like Lily Whitestone-- Ack!." She pokes you in
Floyd | the ribs.
Floyd |

Floyd | "Just kiss me again, or I'll really let you have it."
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "kiss jenny"
Floyd | You kiss for several minutes, finally breaking for some fresh air.

Floyd | "Happy Valentine's Day," you say.
Floyd |
Floyd | "Happy Valentine's Day," Jenny says. "I love you."
Floyd |
Floyd | "I love you too," you say. "I adore you."
Floyd |

Floyd | "That's so sweet," she says. "Thank you. And thank you for the story."
Floyd | She sneaks across the room on tip-toes and blows out the candle.
Floyd |
Floyd | It is now pitch dark in here!
Floyd |
Floyd | Bedroom, in darkness (on the bed)

Floyd | It's dark, and you can't see a thing except the faintly glowing outline
Floyd | of the bedroom window shade, which is drawn shut.
Floyd |
Floyd | You feel Jenny climb back onto the foot of the bed. She rubs her hands
Floyd | on your legs. "Okay, my turn again," she says.
Floyd |

Floyd | "Okay, your turn," you hear yourself echo.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "kiss her real slow on the thigh"
Catena says, "maybe not AIF"
inky says (to Floyd), "kiss jenny"
Floyd | Nothing to do but wait.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "z"
Floyd | Nothing left to do. Time passes.
Floyd |
Floyd | Jenny crawls higher.
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |     *** SMOOCHIES ***
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | In that game you scored 0 out of a possible 0, in 60 turns.

Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, see the author's end
Floyd | NOTES or QUIT?
Floyd | >
inky says, "ha ha h"
inky says, "a"
smartgenes says, "wow score zero"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "notes"
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd | Author's end notes
Floyd |  N = next subjectP = previous
Floyd |  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |    > About the game

Floyd |      Dedication
Floyd |      Enough already
Floyd |      The Kissing Bandit
Floyd |      Amusing
Floyd |      Apology
Catena says, "now wait, Jenny scored"
inky says, "hee hee"
DavidW presses the yellow enter button. McMartin says, "Not the PC."
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd | The Tale of the Kissing Bandit was written and programmed by J.
Floyd | Robinson Wheeler. One of these days, it would be nice to actually take
Floyd | enough time writing a game that I get to flesh it out as fully as
Floyd | originally conceived.
Floyd |
Floyd | If you enjoyed this game, I would love to hear from you. Send comments

Floyd | and reports to rob.wheeler@stanfordalumni.org.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | This Interactive Fiction is Copyright (C) 2001 by J. Robinson Wheeler.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | [Please press SPACE.]
DavidW pushes the green 'space' button.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Author's end notes
Floyd |  N = next subjectP = previous
Floyd |  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |    > About the game
Floyd |      Dedication
Floyd |      Enough already
Floyd |      The Kissing Bandit

Floyd |      Amusing
Floyd |      Apology
inky says, "the ending there is a shade joke, for those who missed it"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |

Floyd | Author's end notes
Floyd |  N = next subjectP = previous
Floyd |  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |      About the game

Floyd |    > Dedication
Floyd |      Enough already
Floyd |      The Kissing Bandit
Floyd |      Amusing
Floyd |      Apology

Catena asks, "amusing?"
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | To Emily Short, who passive-aggressively forced me to finish, even

Floyd | though I had already decided I didn't have time to. The rather thin and
Floyd | spotty implementation, empty rooms, and suchlike are to be blamed on
Floyd | this mad, last-ditch effort to please.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | [Please press SPACE.]
DavidW pushes the green 'space' button.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Author's end notes
Floyd |  N = next subjectP = previous
Floyd |  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |      About the game
Floyd |    > Dedication
Floyd |      Enough already
Floyd |      The Kissing Bandit
Floyd |      Amusing

Floyd |      Apology
DavidW says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Author's end notes
Floyd |  N = next subjectP = previous

Floyd |  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |      About the game
Floyd |      Dedication
Floyd |    > Enough already

Floyd |      The Kissing Bandit
Floyd |      Amusing
Floyd |      Apology
McMartin says, "Clearly we should have had a Shade/Kissing-Bandit session"
DavidW says (to Floyd), "push return"
Floyd |
Floyd | Author's end notes
Floyd |  N = next subjectP = previous
Floyd |  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |      About the game
Floyd |    > Dedication
Floyd |      Enough already
Floyd |      The Kissing Bandit
Floyd |      Amusing

Floyd |      Apology
DavidW says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Author's end notes
Floyd |  N = next subjectP = previous

Floyd |  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |      About the game
Floyd |      Dedication
Floyd |    > Enough already

Floyd |      The Kissing Bandit
Floyd |      Amusing
Floyd |      Apology
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Before I start getting slapped down for playing the Zarf homage/parody
Floyd | card too many times, I'd just like to excuse myself this one last time
Floyd | -- on the grounds that I did say, publically, that I thought the best
Floyd | way to respond to SHADE would be to write a game that answered it.
Floyd |

Floyd | That said, it was a bit of a shoe-horn job. Oh well. I bet someone out
Floyd | there liked it enough to justify it, though.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | [Please press SPACE.]
DavidW pushes the green 'space' button.
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd | Author's end notes
Floyd |  N = next subjectP = previous
Floyd |  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |      About the game

Floyd |      Dedication
Floyd |    > Enough already
Floyd |      The Kissing Bandit
Floyd |      Amusing
Floyd |      Apology

DavidW says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Author's end notes
Floyd |  N = next subjectP = previous
Floyd |  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |      About the game
Floyd |      Dedication
Floyd |      Enough already
Floyd |    > The Kissing Bandit

Floyd |      Amusing
Floyd |      Apology
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd | I have this dim memory of some character, or archetype, or somesuch,
Floyd | called a kissing bandit. I really don't know what that is, or who it
Floyd | was, or anything; thus, this is just my imagination at work. If anyone
Floyd | knows anything about a real kissing bandit, I'd be curious to hear it.
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | [Please press SPACE.]
DavidW pushes the green 'space' button. McMartin asks, "I guess this was post-BAP?"
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Author's end notes
Floyd |  N = next subjectP = previous

Floyd |  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |      About the game
Floyd |      Dedication
Floyd |      Enough already

Floyd |    > The Kissing Bandit
Floyd |      Amusing
Floyd |      Apology
DavidW says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Author's end notes
Floyd |  N = next subjectP = previous
Floyd |  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |      About the game
Lucea asks, "wasn't there a kissing bandit in Holes?"
Floyd |      Dedication
Floyd |      Enough already
Floyd |      The Kissing Bandit

Floyd |    > Amusing
Floyd |      Apology
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | I'm not sure how much there is beyond what most players will happen
Floyd | upon. Various special verbs are clued and implemented with ridiculous
Floyd | numbers of synonyms and turns-of-phrase. For example, you can TIPTOE UP
Floyd | CLOSE BEHIND someone, and then PLANT ONE ON HER.
Floyd |

Floyd | One thing that was a happy accident, of a sort, that I found very
Floyd | amusing: Go to the garden park (the quickest way to do this is to FLEE
Floyd | or ESCAPE when at the ball), and type >GET IT.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | [Please press SPACE.]
DavidW pushes the green 'space' button.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Author's end notes
Floyd |  N = next subjectP = previous
Floyd |  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |      About the game
Floyd |      Dedication
Floyd |      Enough already
Floyd |      The Kissing Bandit
Floyd |    > Amusing

Floyd |      Apology
DavidW says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Author's end notes
Floyd |  N = next subjectP = previous

Floyd |  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |      About the game
Floyd |      Dedication
Floyd |      Enough already

Floyd |      The Kissing Bandit
Floyd |      Amusing
Floyd |    > Apology
DavidW presses the yellow enter button.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | I realize that it's possible that the Kissing Bandit character and his
Floyd | modus operandi might be offensive to someone. I tried my best to keep
Floyd | it cartoony and light enough to be basically innocuous. Originally, the
Floyd | character was called the Smooching Bandit, which was more obviously a

Floyd | comic burlesque figure.
Floyd |
Floyd | In any case, I'm sorry if I put anyone off.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | [Please press SPACE.]
DavidW pushes the green 'space' button.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Author's end notes
Floyd |  N = next subjectP = previous
Floyd |  RETURN = read subject  Q = resume game
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |      About the game
Floyd |      Dedication
Floyd |      Enough already
Floyd |      The Kissing Bandit
Floyd |      Amusing

Floyd |    > Apology
Floyd |
DavidW says (to Floyd), "q"
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, see the author's end
Floyd | NOTES or QUIT?
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "umm how to score points.. do we need to get her panties off"
inky says, "I think the end notes here might be longer than the actual game"
inky says (to Floyd), "restart"
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | The grand ballroom is awhirl with colour and gaiety on this, the night

Floyd | of the annual Governor's Ball. All of the choice mademoiselles are
Floyd | spinning in their lace finery, bewitching upright young suitors, lined
Floyd | up five deep to kiss a wrist.
Floyd |
Floyd | The Kissing Bandit has other plans, though. First, he must be cautious.
Floyd | Find a fetching femme who has parted from her company, to rest alone in

Floyd | a shaded alcove. Or perhaps take a stroll on the veranda. Yes,
Floyd | perhaps... ah, you twirl your moustaches with delight. The Kissing
Floyd | Bandit shall have no trouble tonight finding a pair of pert lips, ready
Floyd | for a stolen kiss...
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | [Hit return or space to continue.]
inky pushes the green 'space' button.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | The Tale of the Kissing Bandit
Floyd | by Cary Valentino
Floyd | Release 1 / Serial number 010210 / Inform v6.21 Library 6/10
Floyd |
Floyd | Grand Ballroom, south side

Floyd | The grand ballroom of the Emerson Hotel is a busy spin of high
Floyd | society's young and old. The Warthingtons, the Worthingtons, the
Floyd | Wellingtons (London and Boston branches), the Westons, the Wooltons,
Floyd | the Whitestones...
Floyd |
Floyd | Hmm, maybe the room is arranged alphabetically, you think. The upper

Floyd | class loves hewing to arbitrary orders, almost by definition. It's up
Floyd | to the Kissing Bandit to inject a note of blessed confusion to the
Floyd | events.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "flee"
Floyd | The Kissing Bandit grows suffocated by these surroundings! With a
Floyd | dashing twirl of your cape, you turn and steal away into the night ...
Floyd |
Floyd | [Hit return or space to continue.]

inky pushes the green 'space' button.
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Garden park

Floyd | The luscious gardens, abloom in the early spring, send forth their
Floyd | heady aromas on the nuzzling breezes. Aloft, too, are the erotic
Floyd | perfumes of the finely dressed ladies in white, walking two by two in
Floyd | the early eve, innocent as does, poised as summer swans.
Floyd |
Floyd | A choice maiden sits alone on a bench, reading a steamy novel by

Floyd | gaslight. Mwuhaha-HA! The Smooching Bandit has at last chosen his first
Floyd | of the evening. A burning buss on those pink smackers will do, will
Floyd | surely do...
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "get it"
Floyd | (on with the maiden)
Floyd | Good heavens! The Kissing Bandit's intentions stop at the innocent
Floyd | kiss!
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Catena says, "I don't think you can score points, it's a kissing not a scoring game"
DavidW says (to smartgenes), "We've told you. It's not that kind of game."
Bert says, "Heh."
Bert says, "(To the game, not to smartgenes.)"
inky says, "I seem to recall there was a shelf of books that was extensively detailed somewhere"
inky says, "I guess it's probably in the first scene"
inky says (to Floyd), "restart"
Floyd | Are you sure you want to restart?

inky says (to Floyd), "yes"
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | The grand ballroom is awhirl with colour and gaiety on this, the night
Floyd | of the annual Governor's Ball. All of the choice mademoiselles are

Floyd | spinning in their lace finery, bewitching upright young suitors, lined
Floyd | up five deep to kiss a wrist.
Floyd |
Floyd | The Kissing Bandit has other plans, though. First, he must be cautious.
Floyd | Find a fetching femme who has parted from her company, to rest alone in
Floyd | a shaded alcove. Or perhaps take a stroll on the veranda. Yes,

Floyd | perhaps... ah, you twirl your moustaches with delight. The Kissing
Floyd | Bandit shall have no trouble tonight finding a pair of pert lips, ready
Floyd | for a stolen kiss...
Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd | [Hit return or space to continue.]
inky pushes the green 'space' button.
Floyd |
Floyd |

Floyd | The Tale of the Kissing Bandit
Floyd | by Cary Valentino
Floyd | Release 1 / Serial number 010210 / Inform v6.21 Library 6/10
Floyd |
Floyd | Grand Ballroom, south side
Floyd | The grand ballroom of the Emerson Hotel is a busy spin of high

Floyd | society's young and old. The Warthingtons, the Worthingtons, the
Floyd | Wellingtons (London and Boston branches), the Westons, the Wooltons,
Floyd | the Whitestones...
Floyd |
Floyd | Hmm, maybe the room is arranged alphabetically, you think. The upper
Floyd | class loves hewing to arbitrary orders, almost by definition. It's up

Floyd | to the Kissing Bandit to inject a note of blessed confusion to the
Floyd | events.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "umm then what is the objective"
inky says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd |
Floyd | Emerson Hotel, second floor
Floyd | Vast crimson carpeting tongues outward from the mouth of the ballroom
Floyd | portal and sprials slowly clockwise down the broad staircase to the

Floyd | public lobby of the hotel.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "up"
Floyd | You can't go that way.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Grand Ballroom, south side

Floyd | The grand ballroom of the Emerson Hotel is a busy spin of high
Floyd | society's young and old. Exits lead in all directions.
Floyd |
Floyd | A lovely young demoiselle, looking in her ruffled ball gown like a
Floyd | plenteous dish of peaches and whipped cream, parts from the general
Floyd | company. Fanning herself, she retreats to the west.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd |
Floyd | Emerson Hotel, second floor

Floyd | Vast crimson carpeting tongues outward from the mouth of the ballroom
Floyd | portal and sprials slowly clockwise down the broad staircase to the
Floyd | public lobby of the hotel.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "d"
Floyd | It would be wise to remove your disguise before you attempt to leave
Floyd | through the hotel's front doors.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

inky says, "hmm"
inky says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

inky says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |
Floyd | Grand Ballroom, south side
Floyd | The grand ballroom of the Emerson Hotel is a busy spin of high
Floyd | society's young and old. Exits lead in all directions.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "up"
Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd | You dance in an intoxicated swirl for a few minutes, and then return,
Floyd | laughing, to where you started.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd |
Floyd | Grand Ballroom, southeast corner
Floyd | This corner of the ballroom is warm and redolent of potent beverages,

Floyd | which are being served behind a mirrored bar. Sulty night air from the
Floyd | open veranda doors to the north gives the area a dreamlike feel.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x bar"
Floyd | That either isn't here, or is unimportant to the Kissing Bandit.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x beverages"
Floyd | That either isn't here, or is unimportant to the Kissing Bandit.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says, "that is a good unimportant message"
Bert says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd |
Floyd | Private salons
Floyd | This slightly curved parlour room with gold, ornamented wallpaper and
Floyd | settees with silk pillows provides an intermediate sitting area, bathed
Floyd | in yellow candlelight. Seating is plentiful, and a set of private salon
Floyd | doors lead northwest and west. A doorless portal leads north. The door

Floyd | to the west is closed; the other is open.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look behind bar"
Floyd | That either isn't here, or is unimportant to the Kissing Bandit.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says, "since it implies he cares for naught but kissing"
Bert says (to Floyd), "n"
Floyd |

Floyd | Smoking room
Floyd | The curt spice of Turkish tobacco raids your senses and leaves them
Floyd | stinging. The ceiling is sooty from years of cigar and cigarette smoke,
Floyd | as are the paintings -- one of which has recently been moved, revealing
Floyd | a rectangular outline of a cleaner, lighter wall behind. Old books,
Floyd | charged with acidic odours, stand yellowing on ceiling-high bookcases.

Floyd | Large, masculine furnishings form a circle in the center of the room. A
Floyd | short, camouflaged door lies uniquely hidden between two of the
Floyd | bookcases on the east wall.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says, "aha"
Bert says (to Floyd), "x books"
Floyd | There are many books here. You have no interest in taking any --
Floyd | neither a borrower nor a lender be, after all. You content yourself to
Floyd | scan the shelves, as if browsing in a bookstore.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "search books"
Floyd | Your eye alights on a volume titled, "Mende Thy Wicked Waies" by the
Floyd | Rev. E. Arthur Shropshire.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "read book"
Floyd | Your gaze falls on a novel called, "Journey to Damascus" by Marcus T.
Floyd | Parella.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read journey"
Floyd | What do you want to read in?
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "books"
Floyd | You discover nothing of interest in the books.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye picks out a book titled, "Of Opticks and the Grinding of
Floyd | Lenses" by Otto Seymour.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "get opticks"
Floyd | That either isn't here, or is unimportant to the Kissing Bandit.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your gaze falls on a rare scientific volume detailing the mating habits
Floyd | of small rodents.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

inky says, "like, my recollection is Rob said he was at the deadline frantically working to get the game done and then found himself writing four dozen book titles for this part which nobody is going to see"
Bert asks, "Muskrat Love?"
smartgenes says, "umm i think the clue was in the moved painting"
inky says, "ha ha "otto seymour""
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye picks out a volume called, "From Alpha to Omega: A Theological
Floyd | History" by Onislav Woczyknikzi.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x wall"
Floyd | (the cleaner rectangle)
Floyd | The lighter surface of the wall has been revealed partially behind the
Floyd | watercolour painting.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "x painting"
Floyd | There are four paintings: two portraits, a still life, and a
Floyd | watercolour landscape.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "get it"
Floyd | That's hardly portable.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | You come across a tome titled, "Essentials of Living" by Emerson Frost
Floyd | and Walter Pratt.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Corporal_Touchy asks, "who s otto seymour?"
Lucea says, "a pun"
DavidW says, "aught to see more"
Bert says (to W), "'Ought'."
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "feel wall"
Floyd | (the cleaner rectangle)
Floyd | You feel nothing unexpected.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

DavidW says, "oops, yes"
Corporal_Touchy exclaims, "oh...nice!"
Bert says (to Floyd), "read read books"
Floyd | What do you want to read in?
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye picks out a book on the subject of European cheesemakers in
Floyd | the fourteenth through sixteenth centuries.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look behind bookcase"
Floyd | There's nothing of interest behind the books.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye alights on a volume concerning European cheesemakers in the
Floyd | seventeenth and eighteenth centuries.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says, "Ha."
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your gaze falls on a novel called, "L'Alsace" by Guy Trintignant.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | You come across a tome entitled, "Discoveries in Human Anatomy" by
Floyd | Charles Edmund Hawthorne, Percy C. Blake and Daniel Merriwether.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says, "I feel that's a joke I should get."
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye picks out a volume called, "How to Host a Dinner Party" by K.
Floyd | Somerset.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye alights on a volume titled, "Joy of Life, Pain of Death" by
Floyd | Nathan Feinberg.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | You come across a tome dedicated to the study of apian migratory
Floyd | patterns.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your gaze falls on a book titled, "Lancaster, Leominster, and
Floyd | Leicester" by L. Lawrence Lilly.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | You come across a volume on the subject of Mediterranean shipping
Floyd | channels.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye picks out a volume titled, "Take a Holiday" by John McCormack.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | You come across a tome titled, "Papacy in the Middle Ages" by Nathan
Floyd | Pendleton and Franklin Cromwell.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye alights on a biography of Martin Luther.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your gaze falls on a novel titled, "Odin's Blood" by Gerard Holbrook.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "move painting"
Floyd | Those are fixed in place.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye picks out a book titled, "Keeper of the Flame" by Reginald
Floyd | Tuchs.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books" Lucea says, "nice detail"
Floyd | Your gaze falls on a book on the subject of stone age tools and
Floyd | weaponry.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye picks out a volume called, "Vesuvius" by Carl Raft.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye alights on a book titled "A Critical Guide to Modern
Floyd | Shakespeare" by Orson Stonecraft.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye alights on a volume titled, "The Compleat Francis Bacon" by
Floyd | Thomas G. King.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | You come across a volume concerning Da Vinci's unfinished horse
Floyd | sculpture.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says, "yeh but kind of wearing thin"
Corporal_Touchy asks, "jeeez it is parsing amazon.com or something?"
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | You come across a volume called, "Raphael and Titian" by Marcus Polsky.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your gaze falls on a novel titled "Fishers of Men" by Hilton Edward
Floyd | James.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your gaze falls on a book on the subject of eel fishing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye picks out a volume titled, "The Discoveries of Tycho Brahe,
Floyd | Volume II" by Francis M. Grant and R. M. McKellen.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says, "francis bacon, nice"
Bert says, "Fishers of eel, fishers of men..."
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | You come across a volume on the subject of gastronomy.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye alights on a volume on the subject of the steam engines.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | You come across a volume called, "A Practical Guide to Lockpicking" by
Floyd | George Mason.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | You come across a volume concerning Shakespeare's history plays.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye picks out a book titled, "Mozart and Freemasonry" by Casper
Floyd | Peabody.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye alights on a book titled, "Gutenberg's Printing Press" by
Floyd | Harrison Alexander.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | You come across a volume on the subject of animal husbandry.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your gaze falls on a book on the subject of sainthood in the early
Floyd | Christian church.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye picks out a book titled, "Avalanche of Reason: The Era of
Floyd | Enlightened Thinking" by Dr. David A. Kelly.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye alights on a book on the subject of Cambridge University.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Wow."
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye picks out a volume called, "The Less One Knows" by Edward
Floyd | Newton.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "read books"
Floyd | Your eye picks out a volume titled, "The Edge of the Earth: The Voyages
Floyd | of Magellan" by Percival MacManus.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "please stop"
Bert says (to gene), "If you don't want to see it, you're free to go."
McMartin says, "We already won."
Lucea says (to floyd), "l"
Floyd |
Floyd | Smoking room
Floyd | The curt spice of Turkish tobacco raids your senses and leaves them
Floyd | stinging. The ceiling is sooty from years of cigar and cigarette smoke,
Floyd | as are the paintings -- one of which has recently been moved, revealing

Floyd | a rectangular outline of a cleaner, lighter wall behind. Old books,
Floyd | charged with acidic odours, stand yellowing on ceiling-high bookcases.
Floyd | Large, masculine furnishings form a circle in the center of the room. A
Floyd | short, camouflaged door lies uniquely hidden between two of the
Floyd | bookcases on the east wall.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says, "yeah, at this point we're just poking around for extra stuff"
Lucea says, "forgot where we were"
inky says, "that said I would like to see what's east"
inky says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd | You can't, since the door is in the way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "open door"
Floyd | You open the door.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd |
Floyd | Grand Ballroom, west side
Floyd | This side of the ballroom is much cooler than the other, although there
Floyd | is not much circulation of the air.
Floyd |
Floyd | A thick, forest-green drapery conceals a small private door --

Floyd | perfectly concealed to all but the trained eyes of the Kissing Bandit.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Lucea says (to floyd), "x private"
Floyd | The door leads west out of the ballroom.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd |
Floyd | Smoking room

Floyd | The curt spice of Turkish tobacco raids your senses and leaves them
Floyd | stinging. The ceiling is sooty from years of cigar and cigarette smoke,
Floyd | as are the paintings -- one of which has recently been moved, revealing
Floyd | a rectangular outline of a cleaner, lighter wall behind. Old books,
Floyd | charged with acidic odours, stand yellowing on ceiling-high bookcases.
Floyd | Large, masculine furnishings form a circle in the center of the room.

Floyd | The door to the ballroom is open to the east.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "how did we win we had zero points"
inky says, "enh"
inky says (to Floyd), "x wall"
Floyd | (the cleaner rectangle)
Floyd | The lighter surface of the wall has been revealed partially behind the
Floyd | watercolour painting.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "push wall"
Floyd | (the cleaner rectangle)
Floyd | You are unable to.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "touch wall"
Floyd | (the cleaner rectangle)
Floyd | You feel nothing unexpected.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "search wall"
Floyd | (the cleaner rectangle)
Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Lucea says (to floyd), "attack wall"
Floyd | (the cleaner rectangle)
Floyd | Violence isn't the answer to this one.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "kick wall"
Floyd | (the cleaner rectangle)
Floyd | Save it for the bugs.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says, "uh"
DavidW says, "There's no points awarded in this game. Ever."
Lucea says, "sorry"
DavidW says, "The author never took out the default score reporting line."
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look under bookcase"
Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Jacqueline says (to smartgenes), "Not everyone implements scoring, and he just forgot to change that flag - as he said in the about text, he finished it in a hurry."
inky says (to Floyd), "x paintings"
Floyd | There are four paintings: two portraits, a still life, and a
Floyd | watercolour landscape.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "move portrait"
Floyd | Which do you mean, the portrait of an imperious old gentleman or the
Floyd | portrait of a handsome woman?
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "imperious"
Floyd | It is fixed in place.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says, "not a game somuch then"
inky says (to Floyd), "x it"
Floyd | The gentleman has moustaches rivaling yours, only his are naturally
Floyd | grown. White-haired, face creased with wise lines, cupping a
Floyd | pocketwatch with one hand and a walking stick in the other, he is

Floyd | clearly a man of worldly accomplishment and power.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "handsome"
Floyd | That verb is outside the Kissing Bandit's knowing.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "look behind imperious"
Floyd | There's nothing of interest behind the portrait of an imperious old
Floyd | gentleman.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x handsome"
Floyd | Not just any woman do you consider handsome; this one you verily do. In
Floyd | her frocks and blouse, velvet and silk, steely posture, square chin

Floyd | upthrust, eyes lightly lidded, black hair immaculately fitted into a
Floyd | bun with not a single stray strand, she bespeaks of primness,
Floyd | prudishness, probity, and virtue. At the same time, she looks as if she
Floyd | were probably sour company, but it is often difficult to judge a person
Floyd | by their painted portrait; the artist always lends his own bias to the
Floyd | character. Artists, after all, must make choices in order to make art.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says (to sg), "I think you'll find that we play a variety of games, and that not all games include a score. Sometimes, it's about something more."
Bert says (to Floyd), "kiss handsome"
Floyd | The portrait of a handsome woman isn't a proper target for the Kissing

Floyd | Bandit!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "woo maidens"
Lucea says (to floyd), "x furnishings"
Floyd | That either isn't here, or is unimportant to the Kissing Bandit.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "pucker lips"
Floyd | That verb is outside the Kissing Bandit's knowing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "pucker up"
Floyd | That verb is outside the Kissing Bandit's knowing.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says, "lame"
Bert says (to Floyd), "make kissy faces"
Floyd | That either isn't here, or is unimportant to the Kissing Bandit.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "imagine angelina jolie"
Floyd | That verb is outside the Kissing Bandit's knowing.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
(from DavidW) inky says, "where's the toilet? I want to see if flushing it works."
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:

Floyd |   a black mask (being worn)
Floyd |   a fake moustache (being worn)
Floyd |   a pair of buckled boots (being worn)
Floyd |   a velvet cloak (being worn)
Floyd |   a rakish hat (being worn)
Floyd |   a locket (being worn and closed)

Floyd |   a grouch bag (being worn)
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Corporal_Touchy asks, "wasn't there another door?"
inky says, "hee hee"
inky says, "there's a faintly-secret door to the east"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "put fake moustache on portrait"
Floyd | Which do you mean, the portrait of an imperious old gentleman or the
Floyd | portrait of a handsome woman?
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Catena asks, "what happens if you take off the disguise?"
Bert says (to Floyd), "x bag"
Floyd | The grouch bag is special; a magician once gave it to you in return for
Floyd | helping him escape from persecutors. It is small and light, made of

Floyd | oiled leather. You have found that it can hold many things, including
Floyd | your entire costume -- cloak, boots, and all.
Floyd |
Floyd | You find nothing of interest.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "remove mask"
Floyd | You take off the black mask.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "remove all"
Floyd | door: That's hardly portable.
Floyd | smoky odours: Physically impossible, even for the Kissing Bandit.
Floyd | cleaner rectangle: That's hardly portable.
Floyd | sooty ceiling: That's hardly portable.

Floyd | paintings: They're hardly portable.
Floyd | portrait of an imperious old gentleman: That's hardly portable.
Floyd | portrait of a handsome woman: That's hardly portable.
Floyd | still life: That's hardly portable.
Floyd | watercolour landscape: That's hardly portable.
Floyd | books: They are curiosities of this moment only; none are worth taking.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "doff all"
Floyd | You can't use multiple objects with that verb.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "x ceiling"
Floyd | (the sooty ceiling)
Floyd | It is an ugly but otherwise unnoteworthy blackening.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Corporal_Touchy says, "haha"
inky says (to Floyd), "smell odour"
Floyd | That either isn't here, or is unimportant to the Kissing Bandit.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "doff hat"
Floyd | You take off the rakish hat.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

inky says (to Floyd), "smell odours"
Floyd | You smell aged cigar and cigarette smoke.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "clean ceiling"
Floyd | (the sooty ceiling)
Floyd | The sooty ceiling looks a little cleaner now.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "doff moustache"
Floyd | You take off the fake moustache.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x ceiling"
Floyd | (the sooty ceiling)
Floyd | It is an ugly but otherwise unnoteworthy blackening.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "doff cloak"
Floyd | You take off the velvet cloak.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "i"
Floyd | You are carrying:
Floyd |   a black mask
Floyd |   a fake moustache
Floyd |   a pair of buckled boots (being worn)

Floyd |   a velvet cloak
Floyd |   a rakish hat
Floyd |   a locket (being worn and closed)
Floyd |   a grouch bag (being worn)
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Bert says (to Floyd), "doff boots"
Floyd | You take off the pair of buckled boots.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "doff locket"
Floyd | You take off the locket.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says (to Floyd), "put all in bag"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "throw the locket to the dogs"
Floyd | black mask: That can't contain things.
Floyd | fake moustache: That can't contain things.
Floyd | pair of buckled boots: That can't contain things.

Floyd | velvet cloak: That can't contain things.
Floyd | rakish hat: That can't contain things.
Floyd | locket: That can't contain things.
Floyd | wrist: That can't contain things.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to throw the locket.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Bert says, "Huh."
Bert says (to Floyd), "x me"
Floyd | Ha-HA! No one will ever guess the identity of the Kissing Bandit! Not
Floyd | even... uh... yourself!
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Lucea says (to floyd), "open locket"
Floyd | Opening the locket reveals a silhouette and a tiny lock of brown hair.
Floyd |
Floyd | Ah! Your heart breaks once again over your one true lost love! Fair
Floyd | Marianne, twas you that spurned my love, flaming a fury that turned one
Floyd | simple boy into this dashing rogue, that steals kisses by night! If
Floyd | only I could find you...

Floyd |
inky says (to Floyd), "remove disguise"
Floyd | >
Floyd | That either isn't here, or is unimportant to the Kissing Bandit.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "unbuckle boots"
Floyd | That verb is outside the Kissing Bandit's knowing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >

smartgenes says (to Floyd), "x wrist"
Floyd | The Kissing Bandit is not interested in wrists at the moment.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "look mirror"
Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to look.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
Corporal_Touchy says, "seems there will be a wrist to kiss elsewhere"
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "quit game"
Floyd | I only understood you as far as wanting to quit.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "get excited"
Floyd | That either isn't here, or is unimportant to the Kissing Bandit.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says (to Floyd), "blindfold maiden"
Floyd | That verb is outside the Kissing Bandit's knowing.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
smartgenes says, "enough kissing already"
DavidW says, "well, I'm done."
DavidW has had his fill of playing for now, and goes back to the Lounge.
inky says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd |
Floyd | Grand Ballroom, west side
Floyd | This side of the ballroom is much cooler than the other, although there

Floyd | is not much circulation of the air. A thick drapery conceals a small
Floyd | private door to the west.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd |
Floyd | Grand Ballroom, southwest corner
Floyd | This corner of the ballroom is cool and shaded, with a russet portico
Floyd | leading west to a series of private salons.
Floyd |
Floyd | Young Peaches-and-Cream stands here, fanning herself lightly.

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |

Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "w"
Floyd |
Floyd | Private salons
Floyd | This slightly curved parlour room with gold, ornamented wallpaper and

Floyd | settees with silk pillows provides an intermediate sitting area, bathed
Floyd | in yellow candlelight. Seating is plentiful, and a set of private salon
Floyd | doors lead northwest and west. A doorless portal leads north.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd | You can't go that way.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd |
Floyd | Grand Ballroom, southwest corner
Floyd | This corner of the ballroom is cool and shaded, with a russet portico
Floyd | leading west to a series of private salons.
Floyd |

Floyd | Young Peaches-and-Cream stands here, fanning herself lightly.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "e"
Floyd |

Floyd | Grand Ballroom, south side
Floyd | The grand ballroom of the Emerson Hotel is a busy spin of high
Floyd | society's young and old. Exits lead in all directions.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "s"
Floyd |
Floyd | Emerson Hotel, second floor
Floyd | Vast crimson carpeting tongues outward from the mouth of the ballroom
Floyd | portal and sprials slowly clockwise down the broad staircase to the

Floyd | public lobby of the hotel.
Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "d"
Floyd | You descend the broad staircase, and escape into the night!

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | [Hit return or space to continue.]
inky pushes the green 'space' button.
Floyd |

Floyd |
Floyd |
Floyd | Garden park
Floyd | The luscious gardens, abloom in the early spring, send forth their
Floyd | heady aromas on the nuzzling breezes. Aloft, too, are the erotic
Floyd | perfumes of the finely dressed ladies in white, walking two by two in

Floyd | the early eve, innocent as does, poised as summer swans.
Floyd |
Floyd | A choice maiden sits alone on a bench, reading a steamy novel by
Floyd | gaslight. Mwuhaha-HA! The Smooching Bandit has at last chosen his first
Floyd | of the evening. A burning buss on those pink smackers will do, will
Floyd | surely do...

Floyd |
Floyd | >
inky says (to Floyd), "kiss wrist"
Floyd | The Kissing Bandit did not put himself at risk tonight for the sake of
Floyd | a mere kiss on a wrist!

Floyd |
Floyd | >
Jacqueline says, "haha"
inky says (to Floyd), "quit"
Floyd | Are you sure you want to quit?

inky says (to Floyd), "yes"
Floyd |
Floyd asks, "That game over already? It was just getting good. Wanna play another?"
inky says, "hooray"
inky has had his fill of playing for now, and goes back to the Lounge.
smartgenes disappears through an invisible gap in the MUD. You think you may have heard the sounds of chatting before the gap closed again. smartgenes says, "entertaining while it lasted"
Jacqueline asks, "So, have we *ahem* all had our way with the Kissing Bandit, then?"
Jacqueline asks, "Should I process the transcript?"
Jacqueline asks, "Or are we still exploring?"
inky says, "hee hee"
inky says, "I'm done"
Lucea says, "I'd say so"
smartgenes says, "yes sir"
Jacqueline says, "mmkay. These were fun. Sorry I had to deal with work twice while we were playing."



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